Look Before You Fall
by Robicorn
Summary: Sequel to Let Your Mercy Fall on Me. Focus is on Edward and Bella's teenage son.
1. Chapter 1

**SM Owns, not me**

**Keepingupwiththekids did all my mistaks...and I was on a different planet this week, and there were a lot, so we did 2 run throughs! Should be perfect. **

**Hope you enjoy the sequel!**

**Look ****Before You Fall **

**Wallpaper**

Gabe POV

"Do you remember this?" My mom asked laughing as she pointed to a picture of me and my best friend Naomi.

"Yeah," I told her. I remembered everything about Naomi. I remembered ten years ago when she dressed up with toilet paper and announced our wedding to our parents.

"You two were such a riot. She swore one day she would be Mrs. Naomi Cullen," Mom reminisced.

"Yeah, I made dad spend like three dollars in quarters at that machine with plastic rings. I had to have the diamond ring for Naomi, but it kept spitting out every color _BUT _the one I _HAD_ to have for her!" I said with a laugh.

Those were the days; the days when Naomi wanted me as much as I wanted her. Now, she just liked to fuck me. At first, I was okay with that, just to be near her. She was my first kiss, the first girl I went down on, but she was not my first fuck. I always wanted more.

I wanted her desperately, and I was willing to do anything to have her. When she told me she'd have sex with me, I was excited, that was until she gave me the BIG IF…

Why does there always have to be a stupid catch….

Naomi made it a game between my best friend Liam and me. She said that whoever was the first to fuck Tori, could have the honor of fucking her. So, at fourteen I made it my mission in life to fuck Tori. She would be my first conquest, just so I could have the girl that was in my dreams.

I know why I kept fucking around, every time I scored, Naomi would come to me all hot and bothered wanting to score for herself. I didn't realize it at first, but I think she was just making sure she was still my number one, the one I wanted the most.

That is why I am clueless when it comes to Evie. What the fuck was I doing? I liked to have sex. If the lucky girl was a virgin, that was just an added bonus. I can't help it if most of the girls I met were through my father's involvement in church, and most of the girls just happened to be virgins.

Evie is the daughter of my Pastor; the daughter of one of my dad's closest friends. She was cute as fuck. Light brown hair with perfect blonde highlights. Big hazel eyes, high round cheeks, always perfectly rosy, and a long lean body, I thought she'd be a good conquest. I thought she would be the ultimate challenge.

Evie and I have been dating for three months, my longest relationship to date. I normally love 'em and leave 'em. I didn't date, I didn't do girlfriends. Evie though, she surprised me. She was different. I knew I was screwed when I didn't pressure her for sex like I did with all the other girls. After three months with Evie, I even stopped going to Naomi for sex. She said she didn't care. Now Evie wants to label me as her 'boyfriend'. Even though I have stopped messing with Naomi, I don't know if I can bring myself to completely rid myself of her. I always wanted Naomi. I took the little bit that she gave me, but I gave up on her ever feeling the same way for me.

"Mom, can I ask you a question?"

"Anything," she smiled at me.

"Let's say I need wallpaper, and say I am deciding between two particular patterns,. One of the patterns, you definitely know that you really like. The other one is nice wallpaper and all, but you're not sure if it's really..."

"For you." My mom finished when I floundered to find the words.

"Exactly, but the really great wallpaper, let's say, is like totally out of your price range. So, do you take the other wallpaper, even though you don't, let's say, desire it that much? Or do you wait until the really great wallpaper is cheaper."

"Well, I guess it depends on how bad you need wallpaper."

Really how bad did I want a girlfriend? Better yet, how long did I want to sit around and wait for Naomi to be ready to be that girl?

Naomi loved to mess with me. She would fuck me, but she never gives me more, and I really wanted more from her. So I decided I was happy with Evie and was going to stop torturing myself with my infatuation with Naomi. It all sounded so fucking good in theory. I even let Evie label us 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. Then she let me fuck her, and it was good. She was good.

Now, _Naomi _steps up, three months later and tells me the one thing I have waited years for her to tell me; that she wants more from me, and I have a big problem, Evie. Evie, the girl who told me she loved me, the girl that I waited six months to have sex with, and held hands with in the hallway of school, she held a piece of my heart.

"Ma," I called into the kitchen.

"Yeah sweetie," she said as I took a seat at the kitchen island. "How was school?" She asked. She was always asking how school was. It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it _was, _you're lucky to get out alive.

"It was fine…Remember I was asking you about wallpaper choices a few months ago?"

She furrowed her eyebrows together before acknowledging the conversation with a nod of her head.

"It's just weird, when you've chosen your wallpaper and you think you're pretty happy with it, but every time you pass by the other wallpaper, you know, the one you sort of like more?"

"Gabe, we're not talking about wallpaper here, are we?" Mom stated putting my bullshit cover story to rest.

"Can you just go with me? Pretend or whatever?" I asked. She just laughed at me and signaled for me to continue. "Well the wallpaper I like more…has become available to me," I explained.

"All I can say Gabe, is follow your heart and be gentle with others,"

Right, sounds easy enough. "Thanks Ma," I said kissing the side of her head. "I gotta to take care of some stuff," I told her grabbing my leather jacket and car keys.

I drove the familiar road to Naomi's house; she let me in with a big smile and tight hug hello. She led me into her living room where I plopped down on the couch exhausted.

"Gabe, what are you going to do? Are you gonna dump Evie?" Naomi asked me pushing my hair out of my eyes. "I wish you would cut your hair, I like to see your eyes."

I drummed my fingers on the coffee table and looked away from Naomi. "Why do you want to be with me all of a sudden?"

"I guess you don't know what you have until it's gone," she said uncrossing her legs and leaning forward on the couch getting closer to me. She extended her hand to stop my drumming, "I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner," she said.

She was my dream girl. Yeah, Evie was cute as fuck, but Naomi, she was beautiful. Bright blue eyes, long blonde hair, pouty red lips – that she used well. It made me hard as shit when she wore thick black eye liner, it really made her eyes stand out. Her ivory skin was flawless. I loved how she painted her nails black and wore leather and combat boots.

Naomi was the complete opposite of Evie. Evie liked to wear fitted jeans with button down shirts or polo's. She liked to wear lighter colors, and comfortable shoes. The button down shirts were great for easy access.

"Me too…I like Evie," I told her. "I like her a lot."

"But you use to tell me you were in love with me," she said lacing her fingers with mine…and she was right.

"I'll break up with her tonight," I said, squeezing her hand. She placed her head on my shoulder, and I smoothed her blonde hair out and pushed it out of her face. She smiled up at me making all my guilt disappear for what I was going to do to Evie.

"Our parents are gonna flip," she said. "They have been talking about us dating since we were in diapers."

"Nah, they have seen it coming, your dad will say some shit like, 'it's about time,' and your mom will make some snarky comment to my dad about castrating me if I break your heart," I told her.

"Yeah, and then your mom will say something like, I'd be the one to break your heart, your such a fucking momma's boy," I couldn't help but laugh. She was right.

"Okay, I gotta jet," I said kissing the side of her head quickly. She stood with me and I didn't let go of her hand. She walked me to her front door, and I won't lie, it was a bit awkward for a minute, I wasn't sure how to act towards her in this in between stage we were caught in. She swung our hands back and forth as I leaned forward to peck her lips.

"Okay," I said, "I better go," I continued to fall deeper into my awkwardness as I motioned with my head to the door.

"Right," she said letting go of my hand.

"Call you later?" I asked opening the door. I jogged out and hopped in my red Honda Civic.

I drove to Evie's and slowly knocked on the door. Why aren't there instructions for how to break up with someone? I mean tell me how to do it gently.

"Hey," she greeted me with a big smile and a hug. I loosely hugged her back before stepping back awkwardly. "My parents aren't home so you can't come in," she reminded me of one of the thirty or so rules I wouldn't miss.

"That's okay, I can't stay long…I just wanted to come talk to you…I just don't think this is working out anymore," I told her.

"What? You're dumping me?" She questioned.

"Ah, yeah, I mean we can still be friends or whatever." I told her the one cliché thing I wanted to leave out.

"Friends?" She said disgustedly. "I gave _you EVERYTHING _and you're dumping me? Why? Because you got what you wanted?"

*FLASHBACK*

_It was the only time Evie's parents let me pick her up and drive with her alone. It only took five months of my best behavior and ass kissing. I parked the car at the edge of the cornfield and leaned into Evie's kiss. _

_The kiss grew heated, her shirt went off. Second base was about as good as it got with Evie. "Let's go in the backseat," I coaxed her. _

_I climbed between her legs and kissed down her neck, "I'm ready," she said stopping me dead in my tracks. _

"_Ready, for like sex?" I asked brushing her hair back. She nodded at me while she fumbled to unbutton my jeans. _

"_I love you, I want to share it with you," she said pulling my hardness out. _

"_I love you too," I told her. _

*END FLASHBACK*

To this day, I still don't know if those words were true when I said them to her.

"It's not like that," I tried to defend myself. Evie crossed her arms defensively. "It was fun while it lasted, you are a cool girl. It's just over now."

"You wanna know what the truth is? I still love you and I probably will love you for a very long time. But I can't just be your buddy, because as much as I enjoy the concept of being "just friends" in reality it's a bizarre form of torture and I'm just not willing to participate in it. So right now what I wanna do is just move on and get over you and the only way for me to do that is to not be around you anymore." She said brushing away some tears a bit harshly.

"Fair enough," I said backing away. "I'm sorry," I managed to say before I turned to leave.

Home, sweet home. I couldn't complain. My dad took care of us, loved us and was badass on the guitar and piano. I was thankful I had him as a father. He provided our family with a huge house on the Winchester Golf Club. Big expensive houses were few and far between in Winchester. I pulled into the stone driveway, and parked my car in the four car garage.

"Gabe," may dad said, "Jasper, Alice, Lola, and Jacey are coming over tomorrow for dinner," my dad told me when I entered the kitchen.

"Cool, Lola owes me a game of Horse," I told him. Growing up around all girls is tough, Lola, made it bearable. She was just like one of the boys. Sure, I had fun with Naomi, but there is only so much pretend wedding a boy can play. It was great when Lo would come over and play basketball with me and her dad.

"When is the last time you saw Lola?" My dad asked running his hand through his hair.

"I don't know…four or five months ago, why?" I asked.

"I think she grew up a little since then, not sure she will be coming here to play with the boys," he told me.

"Whatever," I shrugged. "Jazz will still shoot hoops with me right?" I asked.

"I don't see why not," my dad told me. "So what is going on Gabe?"

"Uh…Evie and I broke up," I told him.

"Why?" he asked scratching the back of his head.

"Uh, Naomi and I started dating," I told him.

"Interesting," was all he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you sure…I mean I think Evie is great. I thought you really liked her."

I pushed my hair out of my eyes and shrugged, "We were just dating. The connection I have to Naomi, I can't deny that anymore and neither can she. Mom just told me to follow my heart, and I did."

"Alright, if you are sure," he said patting me on the back. "Next week Naomi is going to give a speech at youth group, did she mention it to you?" He asked.

"Nope," I said shaking my head. I tried not to live a lie like Naomi. My Mom and Dad knew I was no angel, but Rose and Emmett had no clue Naomi was anything less than a perfect angel that sang solos once a month for communion at church. Of course, they didn't know the extent of my bad behavior; I'd say they only knew a fraction of the shit I did.

"She is going to talk about abstinence," my dad started to explain. It was hard to hold back the laughter that desperately wanted to escape. Naomi, what the hell was she thinking? Offering to become the poster child for the Fountain City Church Abstinence Campaign.

Dad still worked with the youth group to an extent. He was the Director of Youth, but he liked to keep the leader younger and able to relate better to the teens. It was embarrassing how the girls talked about my dad at church. The girls liked to say how hot he was for an older guy. Naomi said a few girls called him a DILF. I told my mom, she didn't seem surprised or upset over it.

He was currently working with a young new artist trying to break through to main radio. My dad was one of the few Christian Artists that did become mainstream with the help of my mom, and the song she wrote _Again_.

"Huh, good for her," I said, "I actually have to go call her," I told my dad before taking the steps two by two up to my room.

"Hello," she answered on the second ring, always screening her phone calls.

"Hey…so how the hell did you get hooked into becoming the token virgin girl at church?" I asked laughing at her unfortunate situation.

"I don't want to talk about it, really. It makes my stomach churn that I have to be that girl. I guess it started cause my dad and grandpa C found out that I told my mom that I was going to wait till marriage to have sex. I mean fuck, what else am I suppose to say when she asked how I felt about sex before marriage?"

"I don't know," I laughed. "Sucks," I told her.

"I hate being two different people. I really hate pretending to be someone that I can't stand."

"Then stop being her…be my bitchy bad girl Naomi, screw them."

"Do you ever want to see me? If I act that way, my mom won't ever let me see the light of day…she will probably ship me off to some Christian boarding school, or make my dad take me to one of those gay ass abstinence balls to sign some fucked up contract. "

"You are so right…she would."

"Oh, she thinks it is so cute that I have my _'first boyfriend' _and that she knew it would be you. She even hinted at the fact that maybe we would both say something at youth group about waiting…"

How could I NOT laugh? It was ridiculous; I had fucked half the girls in the church, including the Pastor's daughter. "Ummm, let me think about that…? No." I said through my laughter. "I am not getting up in front of a room full of girls that I screwed and telling them to wait until marriage. Not me."

"My mom is going to question why you won't!" Naomi whined a little.

"So, tell her I didn't want to, I never do shit at church. It should be no surprise that I don't put myself out there for it."

"Gahhh!" Naomi groaned in frustration. "It's after nine o'clock, my mom is telling me I have to get off the phone, text me later,"

"Later," I said hanging up the phone.

Rose was such a strict bitch. I was use to the rules, I knew all the ways to break them without being caught thanks to my years of practice.

What can I say? Good girls like bad boys. I was just glad that I would have my bad girl. Life is good.

**Reviews are always a good thing!**


	2. Chapter 2 Sketches

**SM owns, Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice, ect… I own Gabe, Naomi, and Lola! YAY!!!**

**Keepingupwiththekids = beta. Sprinkled coma placer = me. **

**ENJOY!**

**Sketches**

I leaned against my red coupe in the school parking lot smirking as Naomi pulled in next to me. I offered to pick her up, but she refused stating she was perfectly capable of driving her cute little ass to school in her convertible.

I watched her fix her lipstick, apply another coat of eye makeup and fix her windblown hair before she finally got out of the car. "What?" She questioned me as I stared at her in amazement.

"Nothing," I laughed shaking my head at her. "You are just so…fuck-able," I said quietly pulling her into my side. She looked so hot. She always wore black, today she wore skintight black jeans with rips and shreds throughout the thigh, studded combat boots, and a loose white shirt that feel off her shoulder exposing her blue bra strap.

"Shut up, Cullen!" She exclaimed attempting to push me away from her. I held her closer as she playfully tried to escape, her laughter filling the parking lot.

"Stop fighting me! You are only gonna make it worse," I teased pressing her against my car.

"So, um how do you feel about PDA?" She asked seductively.

"I'm not against it," I said leaning in to kiss her. I coaxed her mouth open with my tongue, placing my hand under her chin; I felt her nibble on my bottom lip before she let her tongue sweep across mine.

"We better get to class," she sighed pushing me away.

"Whatever you say _Na-O-me_," she hated it when I over pronounced her name. I grabbed her school bag out of the front seat of her car before I took her hand to walk her to class.

What is it with school? It smells, it's gloomy, and it always has this way about making sure as soon as you enter your mood goes down, no matter how fucking happy you were upon entering.

I held the door for Naomi with a look of distaste, "We could always skip," I suggested a little hopeful she'd go for it and let me fuck her all day at my empty house.

"Um, no. I have a huge test third period, no can do," she winked at me. "I need to stop by my locker."

I led her down the crowded hallway and opened her locker for her. She could never do it. She always forgot to start left, or pass the second number, or to lift and pull. So, she gave up on it and relied on me to open it every time she needed to get into it.

Evie…she use to get upset over it. Naomi would text me, "Meet me at my locker," or some shit, and I'd run. I swung the door open and stepped away to give her access. She switched some books, and hung her coat before pushing the gray door shut.

"You going to history?" She asked me as I walked her towards her first period art class. She was an amazing artist. She drew the most amazing portraits, but there was one sketchbook, she refused to let me see. She said it was full of clothes she designed, that it was no good. She let Alice see it though. I didn't fucking get it.

"Nothing better to do," I hinted at the fact that she wouldn't ditch with me. "Well, this is your stop," I said as we reached the art room.

"See you after class," I said pecking her cheek. I watched her strut into the art room and I must have had the stupidest fucking grin on my face before I turned to leave. My little minx.

"So, you dumped me for Naomi?" Evie asked defensively. I didn't even think about the fact that she was in this class with Naomi.

I pushed the hair from my eyes, feeling like a piece of shit. I wanted to say some bullshit like "it's not like that," or something equally gay, but I couldn't lie.

"I thought you didn't want to be friends or whatever?" I shot back attempting to deflect her question.

"You are right, I don't care what you do, or who you do it with. Huge events take place on this Earth every day. Earthquakes, hurricanes, even glaciers move, and I use to see you and think why can't he just look at me? Then you did, then you took things from me, things I can _NEVER _get back, and you left me! I just hope for your sake, Naomi stopped screwing the art teacher for you." Evie said with a nod toward Mr. Spencer.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned her.

"Ask your new girlfriend," she said pushing past me. I couldn't help but to glance in and notice Mr. Spencer hovering over Naomi and her sketchbook. The loud ring of the bell signaling I was late for class is the only thing that made me tear my eyes off Naomi and Mr. Spencer.

He was young, unmarried, and the girls all talked about how hot they thought he was. He seemed like a pretty cool guy. Every now and then one of his tattoos would show when he rolled up his sleeves, and his shirts always had paint on them. He normally wore jeans stained with paint and button down shirts. He said he worked his way through college as a tattoo artist, I don't know why he opted for a nine to five job. Probably some reason like needing a pension and health benefits.

"Shit," I muttered under my breathe as I darted for my history class. The last thing I need is another detention because of being late, and that wrinkly old hag Ms. Knight was sure to give me one when I walked in a less than a minute after the bell. I might as well not even fucking bother showing up, make the detention worth my while.

"Mr. Cullen, so glad you decided to join us this morning, I hope my class isn't taking you away from plans," Ms. Knight said as I took my seat.

"Nope, nothing better to do," I said without thinking. "Trust me, if I had people to do and things to see I wouldn't have come here," and I just made it worse.

"Detention, Mr. Cullen,"

Saw that coming a mile away. Me and my big mouth. Sometimes I wish there was a cure for foot in mouth disease.

Fina-fucking-ly! Lunchtime. I was starving, my stomach was making all sorts of crazy noises and churning. I filled up my tray and took a seat with Naomi at our usually lunch table, that was minus one, Evie.

"Got enough food Gabe?" Naomi cocked her eyebrow at my food.

"Nope," I said stuffing the cheeseburger in my mouth. "What are you eating Nomie?" I asked as I chewed, mispronouncing her name on purpose, because that is how I use to say it as a kid.

"Nothing here," she said disgustedly. I took a swig of my drink, and popped in a few fries. "You gotta eat," I told her.

She rolled her eyes. She always rolled her eyes. I offered her some fries, which she said where not healthy, full of fat, and way too greasy.

"Fine, be that way, more for me," I smirked at her.

"What are we doing after school?" She asked me.

"Uh…Liam and I are meeting Jasper to shoot some hoops," I told her. "Jasper and Alice wanted to talk to my parents about something…and Jazz said he'd play with us afterwards, you can come over." I offered.

"No thank you," Naomi said all bitchy.

"What the fuck is your problem? You on the rag or some shit?" I asked her getting pissed at her shitty attitude.

"No, I'm sorry. I just don't think I did well on my test third period…my mom is gonna flip out if I get a progress report. I was hoping to spend some time with my boyfriend after school…alone…not with a house full of people, and you know I can't stand Lola." Naomi said referring to Jasper and Alice's oldest daughter.

"Lo is cool," I attempted to defend her. "You just need to get over all that bullshit you always fought about, she isn't a kid anymore. I don't understand what it is that you dislike about her some much."

"I don't know she just…rubs me the wrong way. I just don't like the way she follows you around,"

"Jealous are you?" I teased, as Naomi came to sit on my lap. "She is like a little sister to me, and so what, she wants to be like me…can you blame her?" I asked.

Lola was almost two years younger than me. She just turned fifteen over the summer, it was her first year of high school and she was a little awkward. She liked to play sports, she was a tomboy. Complete opposite of Naomi. Whenever we all got together as kids, her and Naomi always ended up fighting.

I think part of it had to do with the fact that Naomi felt left out. While Lola and I would climb trees, play kick the can, and shoot hoops, Naomi just sat out, or struggled to keep up with us. Naomi always had to be the best, and when it came to that shit, Lola had her beat. Lola could out run, out climb, and out hide her, every time.

I hardly ever see Lola anymore. As a freshman, she was in a completely different wing of the high school. She didn't come over with Jasper as much, I was actually looking forward to seeing her again today.

I did see her little sister plenty, Jacey. She was twelve and BFF's with my sister Zoe. They were friggin annoying little sixth graders who loved the Jonas Brothers and shit, but at the end of the day, I would do anything for either of them.

What annoyed me the most about Zoe was the way she was with Dad. It was like she could do no wrong in his eyes. We would fight, she would tattle, and she never lied.

"Whatever, maybe I will come to chat with Alice." Naomi and Alice in the same room just spelled trouble. Alice was a bigwig fashion designer, and Naomi loved fashion. Alice would look at her sketches, and give her pointers, then they would talk about the latest fashion shit, it was like being stuck in the department store with your mom at six years old. You just wanted it to end, to escape or to even just become bearable.

"Well, I will see you later then?" I asked kissing her neck as I slid my finger underneath her lacey blue bra strap.

"Later, like after dinner I guess," she told removing herself from my lap quickly.

"What?" I asked following her eyes to Mr. Spencer.

"Nothing, I just don't want to get in trouble for being inappropriate at school," she said pushing her back.

"You sure that is it?" I asked thinking back to what Evie said about her and Mr. Spencer earlier.

"Why would it be something else?" She asked defensively.

"I don't know," I said not wanting to deal with a confrontation I wasn't sure needed to happen. I took her hand and walked out of the lunchroom praying the rest of the day went by faster than a snail's pace.

"Want to make a pit stop in the bathroom," I said lifting Naomi's silver and black crucifix necklace filled with blow.

"It's empty," she frowned at me. "I was hoping you could spot me a few dollars to get some more," she asked with puppy dog eyes.

"Your mom and dad give you like five Benjamin's a week, and your broke?" I questioned her. "How much snow have you been sniffin?"

"I told you, it's been a rough week, I can't wait until Friday when they pay me again." She said a little sad, she was trying to make me feel bad for her.

"I have some, I'll give you a little later tonight, okay?" I tried to appease her. I had plenty of plastic, just not much paper. I didn't do coke much, it's not good to get all keyed up than go get your heart racing playing basketball, and to be honest I liked basketball better.

My dad liked to keep track of my purchases through his black American Express. Drug dealers don't take credit. It was always hard to explain what I did with the money I borrowed against it.

"Okay, see you later," Naomi said standing up on her tip toes to kiss my nose. As she turned, I slapped her ass playfully.

"Later," I called after her.

Rose, her mom was a complete bitch. She was extremely over protective and strict. Naomi had this act down that would blow Kate Winslet's performance in _Titanic _outta the fucking water.

She wore this cross around her neck religiously that she filled with coke. She always grabbed it and pretended to pray, and she acted like the good granddaughter of Reverend Carlisle.

I went home right after school, a little surprised that Jasper and Alice were already there. I would have offered to find Lola and give her a ride had I known they were gonna here waiting for her to get off the bus with Zoe and Jacey. Jacey was always over, that was nothing out of the ordinary.

I walked into Jazz, Alice, my Mom and Dad all sitting around the kitchen table chatting, "Yo," I said clearly interrupting their conversation.

"Gabe, honey, how was school?" My Mom asked as I hugged her hello, and moved on to quickly hug Alice, and give Jasper a complicated handshake.

"It was better than a drive by shooting," I joked. "What's going on?" I asked.

"We can talk about it when the girls get here," my Dad said.

"Shoot some hoops later Jazz?"

"You know it," he smiled at me. I heard the front door swing open and turned abruptly to see Jacey and Zoe stumble in the door, making way too much noise and dropping all their shit at their feet.

"Don't leave all that stuff in front of the door girls!" My mom yelled out not even able to see the mess they had left in their wake.

"Okay mom!" Zoe called back moving the mess from the front of the door to the side of it.

That is when I saw her. Lola. She struggled to walk over half of the mess that remained, I saw her stare daggers into her sister when she almost fell over her wayward shoe.

She looked different. She looked like a girl. She had boobs, nice little perky boobs. Her hair was partly hidden by the brown knit hat she wore, but what I could see of it was shiny, dark like her mothers. Her legs seemed to go on forever. Her jeans were loose, not too loose though, just loose enough. It was sexy. She was a bit grungy and I couldn't believe how fucking hot she had become.

Jacey was lighter, more like Jasper, green eyes, dirty blonde hair. Cute kid.

I rushed over to help her through the mess, extending my arm out. She looked at me with a tense smile, her expression cancelled out the need for words, she was clearly asking me 'what the fuck.'

"I know," I laughed agreeing with her facial expression.

"You look really nice," I told her, and immediately wanted to take it back.

"Thanks…I guess," she smiled at me with a bewildered look.

"Kids, come sit down we need to talk to you about some stuff," my Dad called.

"So, I guess no basketball in those shoes today," I motioned down to her tan boots that she wore over her jeans.

"Oh, yeah, my mom's doing." she told me shaking her head. She wouldn't keep eye contact with me very long, I had no fucking clue why she was acting so shy. We followed behind Jacey and Zoe as they giggled over some _Tiger Beat _magazine back into the kitchen.

I hopped up on the kitchen counter eliciting a death stare from my mother. "Sorry." I mouthed as I slowly came down and opted to lean against it instead.

"Alice and Jasper came over today to talk to us about needing some help," my Mom began. "Alice was asked by a big fashion network to do a fashion reality show in LA. They have asked her to work with promising students at MIT in the hopes of finding the next big designer, and Jasper is going to be doing a lot of traveling as he normally does, so they wondered if Jacey and Lola would be welcome to stay here, so they didn't have to move with Alice and transfer while she films this show the next two months. Your father and I didn't even really need to think about it. Gabe, I was hoping you would help get the guestroom ready this weekend," Mom finished.

I shrugged in agreement as Zoe and Jacey squealed in delight. I looked to gage Lola's reaction and she seemed to be in a different world, carefully twirling her hair, creating soft curls.

"That it?" I asked pushing off the counter.

"That's it," Jasper said getting up from the table. "Lo, there are sneakers in the car, go get them and shot some hoops with us," Jasper said patting her back.

"Fine," she grumbled pushing back in the chair she was sitting in and coming to her feet.

Right as Jasper threw the ball into my hands, Naomi's car came to a stop at my curb.

"Be back," I said bouncing the ball back to Jasper. I walked swiftly over to Naomi's car and grabbed her hand to help her out. I kissed her cheek quickly and walked her up the driveway lacing my fingers with hers.

"Hey Naomi, come to play some basketball with us?" Jasper joked with her.

"No, not today Jasper," Naomi laughed. "Is Alice inside? I wanted to show her some of my sketches," Naomi asked.

"She is, I'm sure she'd love to see them," Jasper said.

"See you in a bit," I told her, as I watched her walk inside.

I turned to Jasper just in the nick of time, the basketball coming right at me. Thank God I had quick reflexes and caught it.

"Finally got the girl," Jasper smiled at me.

"So it seems," I smiled back.

"Ready to get beat by a girl Cullen?" Lola said emerging from the house in a pair of Hales, Jasper's sneaker brand.

"Bring it on Hale," I laughed at her, bouncing the ball her way. I loved how easy it was with Lola. I loved how natural and true to herself she was. It was odd seeing her earlier all girly.

It was almost as if I was a different person with her. I didn't play head games, or try to act like some sex god, or try to uphold the image I created for myself at school.

Jasper got a phone call and excused himself from the game for a minute.

"I like you better in sneakers," I told her.

"I like you better outside of school," she shot back at me.

"Is that why you avoid me at school?" I asked.

She shrugged, "You are different, less approachable."

"I guess I could see how I have that demeanor at school. I don't mean to," I told her honestly.

I turned quickly as I heard Naomi call my name. It was exactly what I dreaded the most. Having two people who know you in completely different ways end up in the same area. It was as if I had to develop this, combination personality on the spot.

"What's up?" I called out as she approached us.

"Just wondering how much longer you are going to be?" She asked cautiously.

"I don't know," I told her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know where my manners are," Naomi said grasping her necklace. "How are you Lola?" Naomi asked pouring on the fake charm.

"Fine Naomi, thanks for asking, how are you?" Lola dished it right back.

"Oh, Gabe and I are doing wonderful," she said hooking our arms together.

"Knock it off," I whispered against Naomi's head.

"Your Mother was just telling me all about the new show she is doing, it is so nice to have the Cullen's take you and Jacey in while your parents are MIA," Naomi said sounding a little less fake, but still condescending. I nudged her gently again in the hopes she'd knock off the bitch act.

"Yeah, it's really great of them," Lola agreed.

"Change your mind about playing?" Jasper asked slipping his cell phone into his pocket.

"No, no need for me, Liam finally decided to show his face," Naomi motioned behind Jasper and Lola to Liam walking up my driveway. "I'm going to go back in with the girls," Naomi said waving hello and good-bye to Liam. "Gabe, you will be in by what? Like seven?" Naomi called back to me.

"Ah…sure," I said as Liam punched my arm. Jasper waited until the door clicked close before he busted out laughing, telling me my new girlfriend had me on a short leash.

"Whatever, let's just do this," I returned the favor and threw the ball at Jasper quickly while he wasn't looking.

Naomi always had me by the balls, this should not be new news.

**Review, this is odd not writing so much about Bella and Edward and I need reassurance that you all like it! Working on Outtakes for Let Your Mercy Fall on Me, I have one done about Bella and Edward's struggle to get pregnant again, anyone have any scenario's they would like to see play out?**


	3. Chapter 3 SEX

**SM Owns Twilight. Seems like Kstew owns Rob, just glad he got some after the awards! Even if it wasn't with me….**

**Keepingupwiththekids is my wonderful Beta! Thanks so much!!! **

**S-E-X**

I waited for Naomi in the parking lot after school. It was the first day she let me pick her up and take her home from school. I was always the first to leave the school parking lot at the end of the day ; I had to be the first one out from the hordes of people in order to save my sanity. If Naomi did not show up in three seconds, I was going to lose my shit. What the fuck is taking her so damn long? I asked myself impatiently looking at the time on my watch for the tenth time.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" I heard Naomi's voice carry across the parking lot, someone must have really pushed her buttons to have her get so angry. I looked up to see some cocksucker in my class grab her arm and spin her toward him. I knew it was one of the guys she flirted with before we got together, but I never really paid him much mind.

Now, I was ready to kick his ass for putting his hands on Naomi. I pushed off my car quickly and stormed over as Naomi yelled and tried to break free of his grip.

"She said to let her go!" I said through clenched teeth as I shoved him backwards. Naomi stumbled back as he let her go with a push. I didn't even let him register what was going on before my fist connected with his face.

I felt Naomi's arm clutch on to mine as I got ready to hit him again. "Gabe! No! Stop it!" She yelled, distracting me from my target. I looked at her eyes, pleading me to stop.

"Let's just go," she barely whispered tugging on my arm.

I turned back to boy holding his jaw in pain, "Touch her again…I'll break your jaw, got it?" I threatened before walking away with Naomi.

Naomi stormed ahead of me, slamming the car door shut. Why the fuck is SHE mad?

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked starting the car.

"You! I didn't need your help! I could have handled him on my own! I don't need some cave man boyfriend marking me as mine!" Naomi yelled at me.

"Oh, so you can handle yourself?" I asked with a chuckle. "You didn't need me to get his death grip off your arm?" I shot back at her, lifting her short sleeve shirt slightly where he grabbed her, leaving a red mark , she would have a bruise tomorrow . "I should go back and break his fucking jaw for this shit!" I yelled in anger. I could tell she would have bruise.

"Just take me home, you don't get it." Naomi said covering the offensive mark.

"I guess I don't get why you would be thankful that your boyfriend stood up for you," I said stepping on the gas pedal accelerating quickly out of the parking lot.

My mom never forced me to go to church, if it were up to me I would skip youth group this week, but it seems my girlfriend insists I be there for her big sex speech. It was hard enough to get her off my ass about actually going up there with her. The slight mention that I might not even go really set her off.

I tugged my pants up a little as I walked in the familiar Coffee House.

"Thank God you are here!" Naomi said. "How do I look? Do I look okay?" She said smoothing out her hair.

"You look great, as always," I assured her. I moved a wayward hair out of her face and removed her hands from her hair that she was nervously fidgeting with. "You will do fine, if you go up there once a month and sing, you can go up and talk," I told her, not understanding why she was so nervous.

"These words aren't mine, Gabe," she said motioning to her index cards.

"Come here," I said pulling her into my side, "You are going to be do great." I told her with a kiss to her head before I heard a loud voice clear behind me.

I turned to see Emmett, who had warned me thoroughly to keep my hands to myself when it came to his little girl. I raised my hands in mock surrender and put the three feet space he asked me to keep between us at all times.

"Daddy stop it," Naomi smiled.

"I'm watching you," Emmett said pointing at his eyes and then back at me. I knew he was joking around, but also being dead serious. He patted my back before walking away with his wide grin.

He wouldn't be too happy with the things I did to his daughter last night when I climbed in her bedroom window.

_FLASHBACK_

_Naomi laid completely exposed on her deep purple sheets, her ivory skin flawless. She wore nothing but her necklace. I watched the crucifix rise and fall with every breath she took. I moved my hands up her stomach and over her breasts, teasing, groping, squeezing them in my hands. _

_I moved to her necklace and unscrewed the top, I neatly made a line of coke between her breasts. I took the cut straw and snorted the line from between her breasts as her hands fisted in my hair. I laid my tongue against her skin where the line ended and licked back up before attacking her mouth with mine. _

_END FLASHBACK_

"It's time," Naomi said bringing me out of my daze.

"Go get 'em," I said letting go of her hand. I watched her take in a calming breath before she walked away confidently and took the stage.

I watched her unleash a little of the shy girl inside her, all part of her innocent act. I was so proud of my bad girl.

"My Daddy and Grandpa asked me to come here and talk about my feelings on pre-marital sex," Naomi said clutching her coke-filled necklace. "I have an idea of the type of man I would like to marry one day. And by type, I don't mean I want him to be tall, dark, and handsome! I want him to be kind, compassionate, trustworthy, and I want him to love God more than anything in the world, including me. I made a promise to myself and God that I would wait to share myself with the man I marry. If I share myself with too many people, then all of those people have pieces of me, and what will be left for him?"

Naomi was really laying it on thick.

Evie turned and glared at me. If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under.

"There are many reasons to wait to have sex until marriage besides it being a sin. Unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted disease, and the worst thing possible for a teenager, a broken heart. Sure condoms can protect you from pregnancy and STD's, but condoms can't protect a heart, they can't keep your heart from breaking when the boy or girl that said they loved you, leaves you." Naomi paused, making eye contact with several of her peers. "I got together with Alice Hale and she so graciously designed these promise rings with me. I am going to wear one in place of my wedding ring until I the day I am married. The rings are available for girls and boys, to show your commitment to save yourself for marriage. The Hale's and Cullen's have agreed to supply all the rings ordered free of cost to anyone that wants to make a commitment to stay pure. There is a sign up sheet that is going to be passed around, if you are interested in getting more information on the Fountain City Church Love isn't Spelled S-E-X campaign, please sign up. Thank you!"

I couldn't believe my mom and dad were going to be so supportive of this gay shit, although I shouldn't be surprised, but neither should they when I don't want a ring.

Everyone clapped for Naomi as she finished her speech. I thought it would be a little weird with Naomi and Evie tonight, but when there are over a hundred students in the youth group, it is surprisingly easy to avoid people.

"Great job," I congratulated Naomi's Oscar worthy performance.

"Why thank you," Naomi said with a small bow. I wrapped my arm around her and walked her over to one of the couches. Personally, it was my favorite couch. I called it the 'outcast.' It sat lonely and secluded in a dark coroner of the Coffee House.

My dad swears he put it there for him and my mom when they attempted to have five minutes to themselves when he lead the group. Whatever reason it sat as an outcast didn't matter to me, the first time I ever got to second base with Naomi happened on that beat up couch.

I pulled Naomi into my side as she snuggled into mine. "Thanks for coming G," Naomi said sincerely to me with a smile.

"It was my pleasure, Dawg," I didn't mind her calling me 'G', it was our thing. We were so far from any type of populated city, the complete opposite of any kind of gangster type shit.

Naomi laughed softly against my chest, and I squeezed her closer to me for a second. I will be the first to admit to anyone that Naomi is a bitch. She is a loyal bitch though, and I feel lucky to have her in my life.

"Do you know what is so crazy?" Naomi asked me as she fiddled with my fingers, right before she linked her hand with mine.

"What's so crazy?" I asked back.

"That I am sitting here with my best friend, and my palms are sweaty," she laughed shaking her head in disbelief. "I know I don't say it a lot, but I love you. I do. I know I am not perfect and I can be bossy and bitchy, and I place this unfair burden on people just so they can save me from myself, but I don't need a knight in shining armor. I need a partner. Someone who I am proud to love, who is proud to love me back, in spite of all my flaws, and you're it."

"You are so random," I laughed kissing her nose. "You know I love you too. And I want to protect you if I can. I understand you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, but I want to take care of you too whenever you need a little extra help. Just like if I needed help, you would do that for me too. You know, work together, as a couple."

"I appreciate the sentiment, I do. I just feel like it makes me less powerful. I just don't think I tell you how much you do for me, like coming tonight even though you didn't want to, I don't want to forget to thank you, let you know I notice all the little things you do for me, I don't do that often enough."

I moved Naomi's blonde hair off her shoulder before kissing her. It was so simple and playful. It was the best kiss of my existence.

"I should stop," Naomi said pushing away, "I have an image to uphold after all," she smiled while she adjusted her shirt. "I don't know. It's like, there's this person that you want to be for other people. To make them proud of you. Then there's you. And sometimes it's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. Does that make any sense?" Naomi asked.

"To me it does," I told her.

"When do Lola and Jacey move in?" Naomi asked me out of the blue.

"Uh … I think this weekend, why?"

"Just wondering, no reason."

************

My Dad and I worked most of the week clearing out the guest room for Lo and Jacey. Trading out the queen bed for two twin beds, and clearing out the closets. My Mom was a little crazy, she couldn't make up her mind on how to arrange the furniture and it was a little irritating. "Put that there….over a little more….no I don't like that…what if we put that over there? Do you like it better like this? Or like that?" Non-stop.

Lola and Jacey had settled in with the help of Jasper on Sunday, before he had to catch a red eye flight to Houston. Jacey and Zoe hadn't left each other's side and Lola kept to herself.

I knocked lightly on the bedroom door next to mine before pushing it open gently. Lola sat on the center of the bed, reading a book.

"What are you reading?" I asked as she looked up at me. I took a few steps closer.

"Um…Jane Eyre," she said placing the book down.

"For like school?" I asked.

"No, for like fun," she said seriously. "I love Jane Eyre…I love that she never compromised herself for love. That her integrity was constantly tested and she was always searching for this freedom. Then she finds it with Edward, but at what cost to her values? She gives up what she had been searching for to keep her integrity. I hope I can be that strong," she rambled.

I couldn't help but laugh at her little impromptu speech as I sat on the edge of her bed.

"I'm sorry, I ramble when I get nervous." She said looking in her lap. She began picking at some lint on her flannel pajama pants.

"Nervous?" I questioned.

"I don't know," she laughed rolling her eyes. I would say it reminded me of Naomi, but it didn't. She was rolling her eyes at herself, and that shit was kinda sweet. Her smile was infectious. Sincere, perfectly white teeth gleamed back at me. "I guess I feel a bit odd here, I miss my Mom and Dad…I don't know now I am just sounding like some cry baby kid that is homesick. I'm just not sure how to act here. That's all."

"I never noticed what a great smile you have, it reaches your eyes," I told her with my grin spread ear to ear. Lola's smile immediately faltered and she began fidgeting manically with the white lint.

"You normally say thank you when someone pays you a compliment." I stated trying to decipher what was going on in her head. I reached out and stopped her hand from picking,

"Stop, you are gonna pick a hole right through your pants."

"Thank you," she barely managed looking in my eyes. "I don't take compliments well, I'm sorry." She explained. I glanced at my cell phone as it vibrated in my pocket, Evie. I had nothing to say to her, I thought to myself before pressing ignore.

"Just be Lola," I said standing up. "I miss your Dad too if it makes you feel better," I told her. I know I missed my buddy, my basketball mentor, and she missed her father, but I wanted her to know she wasn't completely alone. I started to head toward her door, so I could leave, "Oh, and if you need a ride to school tomorrow, just let me know." I offered.

"Thanks, but you don't have to do that for me," she said.

"I want to, you are like a sister to me," I smiled at her.

"Sister, right, sure Gabe. I appreciate it."

"I leave at seven-thirty, have a good night." I told her before I left her room.

I started to think that every teenager had several versions of himself or herself. I had been confident that I knew who I was, but did I really? Did any sixteen-year-old know who they were? I had this person I was at school, and I thought that was me, but I also knew the part of me that I wanted to deny so much when I was home with my family was a part of me as well.

Naomi obviously had two distinct pieces of herself. Now, I see Lola's other side. When she is home, she wears her sneakers, enjoys playing basketball and likes to read. That is the side of her I knew. When she met me outside the first time to go to school, I saw her in a completely new light. She was dressed in her Mom's nice designer clothes and wore makeup.

When she looked like this, she was like a stranger to me. Things became awkward. I wanted to say it was easier when she was herself, but who knew which version of herself she liked more, who she felt most comfortable being.

The car ride, she rambled. A lot. I didn't know what she had to be nervous about, but it certainly was awkward and the girl could talk fast about the most random shit. I tried to keep up, but I gave up trying to follow her and laughed lightly every time she took a breather.

Every time I saw Evie at school, I avoided her like the plague. I either turned around or pretended not to notice her. I had no clue how to fucking act around her. Avoidance may not be the healthiest way to handle her, but it was the easiest. She started calling my phone all week. I had no clue what to think, she made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with the whole friend thing. Subsequently, I did what I do best, avoided her.

A few times this week Lo and I hung out playing Horse and Xbox, and we started talking about lots of shit. She told me how lost she felt. How she felt like her Dad was disappointed she wasn't a boy and that's why he pushed her to play basketball, and how she felt like her Mom hated having a tomboy for a daughter and shoved designer clothes at her.

"I just don't want to be anybody for anyone but myself, does that make sense?" She asked me.

"Sure," I told her. "I think we all have a lot to figure out and discover about ourselves. I just live in the moment, do what is expected of me by whoever I am around…I'm not even really sure who I am yet, I have a feeling that shit takes time to figure out….is that why you stopped coming out with your Dad when he came here?" I asked, because I didn't really realize until that moment how much I missed her friendship.

"It's a bit more complicated than that,"

"I think I can keep up," I told her wanting to know.

"There is this boy I really like and I wished he would notice me. But , boys never notice the girls that are 'like one of the boys.' So, I wanted to be seen as 'one of the girls' for him to notice me ," I couldn't help but to laugh out loud at the way she said that so quickly.

"Huh," I said stalling, I wasn't sure what I thought about Lo and boys. Then I figured out what bothered me, I didn't want any of them touching her. Protective? Like a sister sort of.

"So, did it work or whatever? Did this boy notice you?" I asked.

"No," she said, "he didn't."

"Good." I said. "You should be with someone that appreciates this side of you," I told her as she made her fifth shot in a row, beating me in Horse.

"How does it feel to have your ass handed to you by a girl?" She asked me with that

infectious smile of hers.

"See, but you are not just any girl; you are the daughter of Jasper Hale."

"Hey, if that makes you feel better about it," she teased me.

"Give me my ball," I said acting like I was pissed.

"No," she laughed tucking the ball under her arm. "You can't make me."

"You shouldn't have said that," I smiled at her, coming at her.

"No!" She yelled as I tried to get the ball from her death grip. To be honest I wasn't exerting much effort to get it, I could have if I really wanted.

She somehow got her legs tangled up in mine and began to fall backwards, I grabbed her waist in a shitty attempt to keep her from falling, only making me stumble and fall on top of her. I heard her head connect with the ground with a thud.

"Shit, are you okay?" I asked pushing the dark hair out of her green eyes.

Her eyes squinted, and she nodded her head looking up at me.

I offered her a small smile, "I'm sorry." My face was inches from hers, and I couldn't stop looking her eyes.

"Um…do you think…I mean can you get up?" She asked.

I jumped up quickly, and offered my hand to her to assist her off the ground. "Next time look before you fall."

**I have a teaser in exchange for reviews… I love hearing how much people like/dislike these young kids who have a lot to learn still! **


	4. Chapter 4 LifeAltering

**SM Owns Twilight. **

**Keepingupwiththekids is my lovely beta! Thanks bb!**

**Umm..did you see Rob on Fallon?! Cause I was there!!! AHHH! So beautiful!! I swear the TV does his beauty no justice!! After Fallon I RAN (Literally) to Paris Theater in hopes to catch him walk in - way too many people, I saw nothing. BUT I did get a ticket to an advance screening of Remember Me a block away, and let me tell you - AMAZING MOVIE! Must see!! Rob is to die for, his little sister is an amazing little girl - think next Abigail Breslin. Pierce, Chris Cooper and Emilie all amazing! And Rob's best friend in the movie = Hysterical. Bring tissues! Nuff said!**

**4 Life-Altering**

"Don't start the movie without me!" I called to Naomi as I waited for the popcorn to finish popping. Naomi had a thing for vampire movies. She insisted we rent atleast one every week, this week she couldn't decide on a movie, so my mom suggested an old favorite of hers, _Interview With a Vampire_.

"Hurry up G!" She couldn't wait to watch a 'classic' vampire movie. Ever since my mom let her watch all the seasons of _True Blood_, Naomi welcomed movies that came out long before she was born.

Naomi wasn't too happy that I invited Lola to watch with us, but it's not as if my Mom and Dad left us unsupervised on the couch for any length of time.

"Evil is a point of view. Seriously, I think that is the best line ever," Naomi whispered during the movie. She was curled up on me, under a blanket as we watched the movie; every now and then she would rub her hand up and down my dick to tease me. She loved to do sneaky shit like that.

"Stop, or you will be sorry," I whispered in her ear when my mom walked in the room.

"Who is Louis?" Naomi asked my mom as I slowly and steadily unbuttoned her jeans beneath the blanket.

"Oh, that is Brad Pitt," my mom told her.

"He is pretty hot," Naomi said and my Mom agreed with her. I slid my hand down her stomach and under her panties; I moved my fingers against her clit. I knew she wouldn't protest, she liked it too much.

I moved my fingers over her slick folds as my mom and Lola sat across the room, Naomi's fingers dug into my thigh has I worked my fingers in and out of her pussy. I couldn't go too fast or too hard otherwise the movement of my hand would make the blanket shift.

I knew how much she loved it when I rubbed against her clit, so I focused a lot of attention on it. "So wet for me," I barely whispered in her ear. Her body stiffened and I knew she was trying to hide her orgasm. "Told you I'd get you back," I whispered again withdrawing my hand.

"Maybe that's what I wanted," she spoke quietly. She began to relax against me and we finished watching the movie with innocent touches, and hand holding.

"I think I liked Claudia the best," Naomi announced at the end of the movie.

"I am going to have to say Lestat, he was true to himself and what he was," Lola said stretching.

"Yeah, I liked Lestat," I agreed with Lola.

Naomi rolled her eyes.

"Well, I have to go, eleven o'clock curfew," Naomi said.

"I'll walk you out," I said.

"Thanks Bella, see you later."

"Bye! Drive safe!" My Mom called after us.

I walked Naomi to her car, and kissed her goodnight. "I love you," I said against her lips.

"I love you too," she whispered in my ear.

"So, see you tomorrow night after the game?" I asked. I knew she had to be there, being a cheerleader, but with her mother Rose, I never know if she will be able to go out afterwards, it's always hit or miss.

"So far that is the plan," she said as I opened the door to her car.

"Text me when you get home okay?" I asked.

"Sure," she smiled climbing in the car. I shut the door and stepped back, watching her drive away.

When I went back in Lola was watching Blade, a vampire movie Naomi didn't care for. I sat back in my spot, and Lola and I stayed up until two in the morning watching movies, with the warning from my mom, not to stay up too late.

* * *

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon. I slept in late and tried to relax before my basketball game tonight.

"Hey! I was listening to that!" I yelled at my Dad when he turned down the music I was jamming to while working on my homework.

"And I said we needed to talk." He told me running his hands through his hair.

"Whatever," I shrugged.

"I just had a long talk with Pastor Peter," he began.

"And," I said because I didn't know why the fuck it should matter to me.

"And why don't you tell me what happened between you and his daughter, Evie?"

"I told you, it didn't work out," I said definitively.

"Did you sleep with her?" He asked bluntly.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "So," I said, if she was so fucking heartbroken that she ran and told her Daddy I took her virginity there was no reason to deny it now. What was the worse my Dad would do? Ground me?

"You are having sex? How long have you been having sex?" He yelled. "I thought I raised you better then that!"

"You and mom didn't wait! You guys had sex, it's not that big of a deal!"

"You had sex with her, then you dumped her. You broke her heart and you don't even care that you hurt her. That isn't even half of my problem with it! Are you ignoring her phone calls?" He asked.

So fucking what if I was avoiding her? She is the one that said she didn't want to be friends.

"I have nothing to say to her anymore," I said flatly.

"Well she has something to say to you!" He yelled at me. He paused trying to reign in his temper before he spoke again, calmer, quieter, almost to himself. "Your mother…you are a lot like her when she was your age," he said shaking his head. "How would you feel to know someone treated her the way you are treating Evie, or what if someone treated Zoe this way? I didn't raise you to be like this. I am disappointed that you are treating someone with so little respect."

"I thought we were just having fun, I didn't mean to lead her on. I thought she knew it didn't mean that much to me," I lied; I knew what I led her to believe. I just felt like a royal ass for it. I was ashamed by the way I dumped her at the drop of a hat for Naomi, only a few weeks after she gave herself to me.

"You told her you _LOVED_ her Gabe! What did you expect she would think!?" My dad called me out.

"I'll call her, I'll apologize." I said thinking this solution would appease him.

"You will do more than just apologize to her," my Dad began.

"No, I won't do more than that! I don't owe her anymore than that, you know I am with Naomi now, and I really like her! I'm not going to break up with her for Evie just because she slept with me!"

"Ah, Naomi, I don't think Rose and Emmett are going to want you seeing their daughter once they find out about Evie," he told me continuing to shake his head in disappointment.

"No one has to tell them!" I argued with him.

"Oh! I think they are going to find out when Evie gives birth to your child in nine months!"

What the fuck did he just say? Did he just say Evie was pregnant? What the fuck? She told me she was on the fucking pill, how the fuck could she be pregnant?

"So, you will not just call her and apologize. You will make yourself available to support her, you will do what is right. And if Rose and Emmett tell you to stay away from their daughter, you will. You will start acting like a grown up since you have chosen to live your life as one."

"How are you so sure it's my kid?" I asked pushing the hair from my eyes.

"Give me a break Gabe. Don't for one second think you can pull the wool over my eyes. Peter is a good friend of mine, and I can't believe you would do this, you will do what is right!" He said. "From here on out, you will go straight to school and work. Nothing more. You will come straight home. Say good-bye to basketball and to your band. You are going to find a job because you have adult responsibilities. Your car is to be used to go to school and to work, nothing more. And if by God's good grace Rose lets her daughter within ten feet of you, you can resume a relationship with her in one month, and only on group dates. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir," I said looking down. Was this really fucking happening to me? I wasn't about to let this shit ruin my life. I was nowhere near ready to deal with a baby.

I just got Naomi, now I would most likely lose her.

My Dad walked out quickly. I wasn't sure how my Mom would handle this news.

"God Damn it!" I said angry at the entire situation.

"I heard that!" My Dad yelled from down the hall.

I didn't know what the fuck to do or what to think. I had to talk to Evie find out what the fuck was going on, and how this happened.

I texted Evie and asked her to meet me at the park were we use to hang out at when we dated. I grabbed my leather jacket and headed for the door.

I sat on top of the picnic table under a secluded tree as I waited for Evie. She didn't drive, but the park was less than a block from her house. It was the easiest place to meet her. I saw her approaching in the distance, her arms wrapped around her body in one of the hooded sweatshirts I let her borrow months ago and never got back. I told her it looked better on her anyway, and to keep it. I think we were sitting at this very picnic table that day.

She kept her eyes downcast as she approached, tucking her hair behind her ear when she finally looked up at me. I wanted to yell at her…I couldn't though. She looked so fucking lost and scared. I reached out my arm and anchored it around her waist. I pulled her into my chest and hugged her.

"How did this happen? I thought you were on the pill?" I asked.

"I didn't know the antibiotics I was on would interfere. I'm sorry," she sobbed into my chest.

"I can't fucking do this Evie, I am too young," I told her. I didn't think I would be lucky enough for her to agree to an abortion at this point, maybe she would agree to adoption.

"I'm scared Gabe, like really scared. You wouldn't answer my calls; I had to tell my parents! I'm having a baby…at sixteen! It's hard for me to be close to you, and now I have your baby growing inside me."

"I'm sorry…I don't know what to do….maybe you know, we could give the baby up for adoption." I suggested cautiously.

"I am not going to carry this baby inside me for nine months, and just hand it over to someone else…I can't do that." Evie said pacing in front of me. "I have to learn to forgive you. We talk like we know what's going on, but we don't. We don't know anything. We're really young and we're gonna screw-up a lot. We're gonna keep changing our minds and even sometimes our hearts. And through all that, the only real thing we can offer each other is forgiveness, so I am going to offer that to you." She said stopping in front of me. "I think I don't have a choice but to try the friend thing with you now."

"I appreciate that, I do. But I can't do this Evie. I don't _want_ to do this," I told her.

"Neither do I Gabe! We don't have a choice! I never had a choice!"

"Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices?" I asked her. "Will you just think about those other choices? And please, don't make them based on other people's opinions. Make the best choice for you."

"I did Gabe, I am having a baby. I don't expect you to come running back to me. This isn't some stupid fantasy where the guy who broke your heart suddenly realizes that he has made the biggest mistake of his life, and he finds you, wherever you are, comes running up to you and says "I can't live without you, you are my entire existence and if you don't take me back right now, I will never love anyone again", where does that fantasy come from?" She said letting me know she had no desire to have me come rescue her, and a small part of me almost wanted to rescue her.

"Movies... television... that place in your heart where there is still a little bit of hope," I said thinking of my Mom.

_Always so freaking hopeful._

"Hope? I wish there was something you could take for that, some kind of pill that made you stop hoping for something that probably isn't even good for you to begin with. I'm not dismissing the beautiful ideal of soul mates, but the reality of soul mates, boils down to one thing, faith. I asked myself months ago if you were the kind of person I was willing to take a very big leap of faith for, and I was wrong." Evie told me.

"Listen we have like nine months to figure this shit out…I have to get a job according to my Dad…and I can't play basketball…and I have to be available to support you…so-"

"Please Gabe," Evie interpreted me, "Don't do me any favors. I don't want you to do anything out of obligation." She spat before storming off.

Good, let her fucking go, make my life easier. So much for forgiveness.

I sat there on that fucking picnic table completely unsure of what the fuck to do.

I called Jasper, I felt like I could be more honest with him than with my parents.

"Gabe, what's up?" Jasper asked when he answered his phone.

"I am in deep shit," I told him.

"Can't be that bad, nothing is ever as bad as it seems."

"I got Evie pregnant." I told him.

Silence.

"I don't know what to do," I told him after a few seconds.

"You should talk to your Mom and Dad, they know what that shit is like," Jasper suggested.

"I just am not fucking ready for this, it was just sex." I said.

"Sex is never just sex. Trust me, I know. It's intense, it's passionate, and sometimes it can be life altering-but it is never just sex."

"Yeah, well my life has been fucking altered."

"Listen Gabe, I know you are scared and this seems like the end of the world, but it's not. I'm always here to talk if you need me. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, you just have to do your best to deal with it."

**********

"Talk to me Gabe," my mom said sitting on the corner of my bed the next morning.

"I'm not going to church," I told her.

"Fine, I never made you go, I'll stay home with you," she said. She was being way to fucking nice. I couldn't handle it. I wanted her to yell at me, tell me what a moron I was, I didn't want her to be all understanding and supportive. I wanted my parents to be the ones that insisted the pregnancy be 'taken care of,' Why did I have to have the parents that did the right thing? "Why did you go to church before?" She asked.

I looked at her like she was an idiot. "Oh," she said as realization dawned on her, the same fucking reason she let Nana Renee drag her to church sixteen years ago. "I use to have sex…really casual unhealthy sex. I probably should have told you. It almost ruined my friendship with Jasper, and Alice. It could have easily tainted my relationship with your father, had he not always been understanding. We aren't mad at you. Pastor Peter…he isn't mad at you. We are disappointed in both you and Evie. We are disappointed in ourselves…how long have you been having sex?" She asked slowly.

"Two years ago," I said as I let out a breath. No reason to hide shit anymore. "It started at that camp you sent me to two years ago," I began.

"Naomi…she told me and Liam that whoever could fu-sleep with Reverend Tyler's daughter, Tori first she would have sex with, so I did it…and Naomi followed through, and if you rat her out to Emmett or Rose I will never forgive you." I told her. I knew Naomi would be pissed, isn't there some type of mother son confidently rule?

"You kids are treating sex like it's a game! Is it still a game to you now? "

"No," I said looking into my lap. "Now Naomi can't even be left alone in the same room as me." I said sadly. My Dad was nice enough to inform me last night that, Rose and Emmett didn't want Naomi seeing me. That Naomi was very upset over their decision but we were to accept it. Rose was afraid if we were left alone, we would continue to see each other.

I had no problem sneaking around.

"Baby, you can't sleep with your friends while they are still just your friends!" My Mom exclaimed. She went on to tell me about how she lost her virginity and thought Jasper and her came up with the perfect way to have sex and never get burned, how it didn't work.

"You will be fine, everything will work out." She assured me with a hug.

"Naomi's gonna hate me." I told her. That was upsetting me the most.

"She might be mad, but you guys made your bed, time to sleep in it. If you two are meant to be together you will be."

My Dad knocked softly on the door as my mom hugged me again, "No church today?" He asked.

"Not today," my Mom said standing to her feet.

"I'm sorry I disappointed you," I told my parents.

"Gabe, we all make mistakes. Consider every mistake you make an asset. If you learn from this, I couldn't ask for more. Just do what is right now. The worst thing you can do now is ignore it. We love you. We are here for you."

"What did Evie say?" My Mom asked.

"Um…not much. She hates me." I didn't feel like rehashing all the shit that went down earlier.

"Make her not hate you…that is the best place to start, she's going to be a in your life for the long haul," my Dad told me.

"I'll try," I said. I wasn't very confident and I didn't really have too much determination to make that happen.

A few hours had passed, and I was still just as lost, just as scared when I heard someone banging on the door downstairs.

I jogged down the steps and swung the door open to a very pissed off Naomi. Steam rolled off her as she brought her hand up and slapped me across the face.

I moved my hand to soothe the area she slapped, while she told me what a jerk I was. I deserved it. I didn't try to fight it. I let her slap me again.

"Feel better?" I asked. "Cause I know what it feels like to just want to get through the day without breaking something, I know you hate me right now -" I started before she interrupted me.

"What I have to say, you're not going to like, so I'll say it quickly. I will _never _forgive you. There are certain circumstances that love cannot overcome and from now on...I don't want to know you. You do not exist to me."

"I'm sorry! I didn't know what to do! Please, before we destroy whatever chance we might actually have at having a relationship in the future, I'm asking you, please stop and think about this, is this really what you want? Is this really the way you want things to end between us?" I asked her, pleading that she not cut me out completely.

"Maybe some friendships aren't meant to be saved. Maybe we're meant to spend a certain part of our life with certain people...and then move on….I have to go, turn in my car keys and spend the next three months grounded…you could have left me out of it." She said before she rushed back to her car, peeling out of my driveway.

My life was fucking over.

**Review I will send a teaser. I know some of you didn't get one last time, but I moved and have had no internet for like a week. Sorry! I am settled and back in business! **


	5. Chapter 5 Three Peices

**SM Owns Twilight. But I did create this next generation of AH characters. **

**Kuwtk's couldn't beta, I miss her. BUT I had a great Philly Twimom Beta this, who I should have done the red carpet with for Remember Me in NYC instead of going to Jimmy Fallon (Which was great too! His mum and uncle were there in the audience getting a kick out of us women -I think besides his uncle, there were 3 other men in the audience! LOL!), Back to Jean, I should have gone with her cause she was one of the lucky peeps that got handed a ticket to go in and see Remember Me 2 rows behind Rob (who sat with Kristen)!!! GAH! Next time Jean…LOL! I did get to see Remember Me also on March 1st**** and it was amazing!! **

**On with the story! **

**Three Pieces**

I sat up in my childhood tree house getting stoned. It was my nightly ritual. My life as I knew it was over. I didn't have a best friend anymore, I didn't have basketball, or music.

I sat in that damn tree and smoked my woes away. Each puff expelled felt like a weight being lifted from my shoulders. If I smoked enough, I forget for a second that Evie was pregnant. Which I needed. I needed one moment, even if it only lasted ten seconds to forget that life-altering information. I was constantly reminded that a baby was on the way to change my life forever.

My Dad liked to say it at least once a day, every day that I came home unemployed. "Find a job Gabe?" he'd ask. Kids at school liked to stare and whisper, and I knew what the fuck they were saying. Naomi constantly reminded me with the way she looked right through me. She was right when she said she wouldn't know me anymore. She didn't bother looking away from me, she just looked right fucking through me…like I didn't fucking exist. I think that was the worst reminder of the entire situation.

I was upset with my Mom for telling Rose about everything. She just kept saying that if Rose knew there was something I needed help with and with held it was withheld from her just so I didn't get in trouble, she'd be livid. Rose and Emmett were family, she wouldn't keep such important things from them.

I puffed smoke out as Lola made her way up the trap door, waving the smoke from the air in front of her.

"When are you going to stop feeling sorry for yourself? It's kinda depressing," she told me taking a seat across from me on the floor.

"Who knows," I said exhaling some smoke. "Talk to your Dad?" I asked.

"Things with my Dad and me aren't the best, lately," she confided in me.

"Why?"

"My dad and I used to be pretty tight. The sad truth is, my breasts have come between us," she said motioning toward her perky tits.

Shit, they were nice tits…

I offered her the joint chuckling at her last statement.

"I've never…" she began to tell me taking the rolled up joint.

"Firsts for everything," I shrugged, as she attempted to inhale failing miserably and ending up in a coughing fit.

It reminded me of Naomi, the only time she smoked was when she could shotgun off someone. Lola recovered as I inhaled. I held the smoke in my lungs and leaned towards her, coaxing her mouth towards mine so I could exhale the smoke into it.

She looked at me quizzically before I tilted her chin and closed my mouth over hers, exhaling the smoke slowly into her mouth. When my lungs were empty, I told her to hold her breath, and suck back a little. She exhaled the smoke with a little cough, and I could see her face going red.

"So, that was really odd. Would one consider that a kiss? I mean cause I could consider that a kiss, and I have never really been kissed before, so was that my first kiss? Oh God, I am rambling again," Lola said really fast.

"I think that was a shitty first kiss, I feel really shitty now. Can I make it up to you?" I asked.

"Um…I don't…you don't have to do," Lola said growing redder.

"What if I want to? I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend or anything, I'm just asking to kiss you."

"Um…sure I guess, I mean it's just a kiss right?"

"Right," I said leaning forward and meeting my lips to Lo's. Her lips remained closed and slightly puckered, I smiled against them before slipping my tongue out and coaxing them open. I swept my tongue across hers, and I held her jaw in my right hand before pulling away slowly. "Better first kiss?" I asked.

"Ah…um…you can't just kiss me like that, I shouldn't have agreed to that."

"It was just a kiss Lo," I said.

"Not to me, cause you are the boy I wanted to see me as girl, and I remember the day I wanted you to notice me, it was pouring rain, your mom came to pick us up, but the car was across the street so you grabbed my hand and we ran for it. And it was probably only about ten seconds or so, but when we got in the car, all I could think about was the fact that... you had held my hand" she admitted in a rush with a bit of embarrassment.

"I'm…fuck. I don't know what to say…I think you are amazing. You're the girl in the nineteenth century novel who would refuse to marry for money no matter how much it would raise her station in life; the girl who would say yes, sleep on it... recover her moral principles, and then break the guy's heart the next morning. All of which, of course, only increases your appeal. Principles are incredibly sexy, but I am in no position to offer you more than a kiss right now."

"I know…I shouldn't have said anything. It's okay, I'll be okay." Lola said, trying unsuccessfully to brush off the hurt she wore so evidently.

"You keep wearing your heart on your sleeve, you're gonna bleed to death," I told her taking the last hit off the shrinking joint.

"Can we just forget I said anything?" she asked.

"Forget what?" I asked going along with her request, smirking at her.

The next morning, Lola didn't drive with me to school. The drive was quiet; I missed her rambling. It was one of those days that just seemed off, I just knew it was going to blow.

During the drive, my dad sent me a text that he got me an interview at the carwash in town, and I should go there after school to see if I got the job; see, already a bad fucking start.

I went to the art room early hoping to talk to Evie. I was beginning to come to the realization that this was real. It was happening, and I needed to do what my parents had been telling me to do for the past week; make Evie able to stand being in the same room as me again.

I knew sometimes she got there early to work on other homework or study. She was the oldest of six kids, three of which were under five, so, there wasn't much peace and quiet in her house.

I got to the art room door and pushed it open.

"Oh shit," I said taking in the sight in front of me. Mr. Spencer had some girl bent over his desk while he fucked her from behind.

"Fuck," he said withdrawing, and pulling up his pants. At first I wanted to laugh and just leave, until I looked closer at the combat boots and blonde hair and realized that they belonged to Naomi.

"Naomi?!" I questioned. Naomi straightened up, fixed her short black dress, and smoothed out her hair. Then, she acknowledged my existence.

"Gabe," she said as if it wasn't a big deal that she was just caught fucking a teacher.

I glanced over to the sketch laying on his desk - Naomi…naked.

"Are you serious Naomi? You are fucking a teacher?! What the hell is wrong with you?" I half yelled, and half whispered at her.

"Fuck you Gabe, you don't know anything about the situation! Don't you dare judge me!" she fired back at me.

"You are right, I don't know you. Let's just each go back to pretending the other doesn't exist," I said shaking my head in disgust. "Don't worry, I won't say shit," I said before I stormed out, slamming the door behind me, the glass shook and the bang echoed down the empty hall.

Who the hell was she? What the hell was she thinking? I walked down the hallway full of blinding anger, hurt.

"Gabe! Gabe!" I heard Lola's voice behind me as I walked angrily down the hall. I felt her arm reach out and grab me, abruptly halting my steps. I didn't look at her. I closed my eyes, trying to gain some perspective on my situation. I glanced to my right and saw an empty classroom. I walked in quickly not bothering to switch on the light, and paced in front of the door as Lola slowly followed me inside the room.

"Gabe, are you okay?" she asked timidly.

I finally brought my eyes to hers, taking in her appearance. Silky hair, makeup, and a dress. I had never seen her in a dress before. I had never seen her look more beautiful.

I walked to the door and pushed it shut. I approached Lola like she was my prey. "I missed you this morning, I missed your rambling," I told her before I kissed her. She struggled against me at first, but I didn't want to let her go.

"You look so beautiful," I whispered against her lips, as she surrendered to me and began kissing me back.

"Stop," she said moving away from me. "I thought that this was what I wanted. For you to see me as beautiful. For you to look at me the way you look at Naomi. But the truth is, that's not really what I want at all. I want you to look at me and see the person that you've always known and realize that what we have is so much more incredible than just some passing physical attraction. 'Cause you know what? It's just makeup -- and clothes-- and tonight I'll be back to being Lola. Just Lola. The too tall girl with chicken legs that plays basketball better than most boys," she rambled.

I moved toward her again, intending to kiss her again, but she squirmed away.

"You can't just kiss me whenever you want and expect me to think it's just a kiss! It's more than that to me! So, if you are going to kiss me…you should mean it. Do you mean it? Please…don't kiss me unless you mean it." Fuck, I wanted to mean it. I was so confused and lost, how could I tell her I meant it, and actually mean it? I couldn't. I couldn't lie or pretend with her. She saw right through me.

"I…I'm sorry," I said, before leaving her alone in that room. I was so overwhelmed. I couldn't do it half assed with her. Lola deserved better than my games.

I went through the morning in a blur. Too many fucking emotions for one person to experience in one day, and it wasn't even over. I had to push my feelings for Lola back. I knew I liked her…I knew I was attracted to her, but I couldn't let myself think about it too much.

I wasn't sure I could handle the idea of becoming a father, any more than I could handle the idea of giving myself to Lola. I couldn't handle it if I broke her heart.

My heart wasn't even mine anymore. Evie held a piece of it, Naomi held a piece, and I unknowingly gave some of it to Lola. I wanted to be able to do it right with Lola, but the idea of reclaiming the pieces Evie and Naomi held, I wasn't at that point yet.

I strolled in the cafeteria and went straight to where Evie was sitting, sliding on the bench across from her. I pushed my hair out of my eyes, and when she looked up at me, hurt poured out of her eyes.

"So…I know I suck, and I haven't been the greatest with this whole situation…but I think I got a job," I began.

"You don't have to do that. I talked to my parents, and with all my younger siblings and stuff…they think adoption would be a smart decision…so you got your wish," she told me. "I…I'm not ready for this…my parents struggle as it is. It's best for all of us," she said placing her hand on her stomach.

I didn't know what the hell to think. I just came to terms with the fact that I was going to be a father, and now I'm not. It was bittersweet.

"If that is what you think is best," I told her. "I'm here…if you need me." I told her thinking back to what my mom had said; Evie would be the one looked at funny, she would bear the brunt of the judgment. Not me. That as a good person, I should try to own my fair share of the burden. "It's not just your problem…it's mine too. No one is making me say this shit, but if you need anything…call me."

"Thanks Gabe, I appreciate it."

I didn't bother going to the carwash after school. I figured what was the point with Evie's decision to give the baby up for adoption.

"Gabe, what are you doing here? Why didn't you go to the carwash?" my dad questioned me as I walked in the kitchen.

My Dad, Mom, and Jasper stood in the kitchen chatting. Jasper would often come by in between games to see Lo and Jacey.

"Change in plans," I said shaking out of my jacket.

"What do you mean by that Gabe?" Mom asked.

"Evie said she talked to her parents, and they really can't accommodate another kid…so she's giving it up for adoption," I said, popping a grape in my mouth.

"What? She doesn't have to do that! We can take the baby here! Evie doesn't have to do that if she doesn't want to," my mom said, walking over to the phone. Why was she so determined to keep something we referred to as a mistake? Why would anyone want to keep a mistake? "Right, Edward?" she asked, picking up the phone. "We can take the baby here."

My Dad looked at me and I begged him with my eyes not to agree with her.

"Bella, maybe we should ask Gabe," he suggested.

"Gabe?" She said turning to me like I should be begging her to call Evie and her parents and ask to keep the baby.

"I don't want to have a kid, Ma," I said.

" I know you don't _WANT_ to have a kid…but a kid is coming, and we are its family. And we are blessed with plenty of money, and space, and love…there is no reason to give that baby away…I am going to offer the help to Evie, and if she accepts it, you will need that job. Go!" she demanded, dialing the phone.

So fucking bittersweet.

Jasper shrugged at me as I pulled my jacket back on and headed to the fucking carwash. Less than twenty minutes later I was employed for a measly nine dollars an hour.

I arrived back at my house to Evie's parents car in my driveway. Fuck. As if I really wanted to deal with this shit.

My shitty day just keeps getting shittier. I reluctantly walked in my front door. I wanted to disappear into the walls or just dissipate into thin air.

It was every teenage boy's worst fucking nightmare, the parents of the girl you knocked up then dumped sitting…waiting…for you.

"Gabe, I invited Evie and her parents over to talk about some things, have a seat, baby," my mom said, patting the empty seat in between her and Evie.

"I explained to Evie that our home is open for the baby if she wants to keep it, Gabe. Your father and I talked about how much we are willing to help, and I..um I mean, _we_ agreed to support you guys as much as possible. I know how hard it is going to be, and that it's scary. But we have the resources to support you guys, and as much as Evie wants to be a mother - despite the fear and unknown - there are still two years of high school for you guys to complete, and four years of college…I hope. It's not an ideal situation, but you have our support in it. All of it. Whatever the baby needs, we will provide, if you can't. I'm not saying I am getting up with the baby at two in the morning for feedings, cause I am not, but if you need us to pay for daycare, or need money for diapers, or a room for the baby…we will do all we can to make sure you and Evie get to finish high school, and get the chance to do things like prom, still."

"So, you are telling me Evie is going to have the baby…and drop it off here? To me?" I asked a bit baffled.

"Gabe, your Mom and I are going to help you adjust. Evie will be here a lot, too. We discussed the possibility that she stay here the first few weeks, then the baby can stay with her a few days a week, but the majority of the time, yes the baby would be here. We can sort it all out in time," my Dad explained.

I didn't really feel as if I had a choice. "Is this what you want Evie?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I mean it's exactly the type of help we need…and my parents can't provide it right now…and I mean I love this baby already," she said looking down at her stomach.

"Don't I have a say in this?" I posed the question to everyone at the table.

"No, you don't," Evie's father said bluntly. "It's Evangeline's body. It's her choice. It was both of you that made the choice to have sex, and not all things in life are won by majority rules."

"I understand," I said, trying to be respectful. I knew I could be a prick, but my parents did teach me some respect. As much as I would like to say I owe them shit, and that I don't owe anyone any type of respect, I knew that was wishful thinking. I walk a fine line. My parents never tolerated disrespect. "What is next?" I asked looking back at Evie.

"I go for my first doctors appointment on Friday after school…do you think you can take me?" she asked.

"I don't know…I am only allowed to drive to school and work," I said looking at my Dad.

"Fine, and you can be available to Evie for doctor appointments." Dad told me.

I looked at him and gave him a condescending smile. "Sure Evie," I said not bothering to wipe the smart ass look off my face.

Evie and her parents didn't stay much longer after that.

I rested my head on my hand as I half listened to my Mom and Dad discuss how to go about telling Zoe that a baby was the way. They talked quietly a few feet from me, I watched my Dad move her hair from her eyes, and it was like every touch, every word, and every thing he did revolved around her, and was filled with love.

It was discouraging to say the least. Would I ever have that with anyone? What type of girl would want to date a single sixteen-year-old father to be?

**Review = teasers! **


	6. Chapter 6 Fading Beats

**Always must say, I don't own Twilight Stephanie Meyer does, I just love that she lets us play. **

**Jean is my new Beta, thanks so much! I wasn't going to post tonight, but my birthday dinner got cancelled. Reviews would cheer me up. I was really looking forward to Outback…*sniffle, sniffle***

**AND I just got a great banner from Readergoof, Link for it is on my profile. And I am going to add it to my signature on Twilighted. I am mostly only on the Wicked Angel Board. But I hope you like the people I picked to be Gabe, Evie, Naomi, and Lola. **

**Fading Beats**

The next few days Lola wasn't around since Jasper was home, and I think we mutually avoided each other. I sat with Evie at lunch, attempting to rebuild a friendship with her. Suffice to say my lunches were quiet and uncomfortable.

I went to work almost everyday right after school, and usually by the time I got home, I just passed out exhausted.

I missed Naomi everyday. What I found even more interesting was that I didn't miss Naomi's body as much as I missed her friendship. Plus, I was worried about whatever the fuck she was doing with Mr. Spencer.

I was sitting in my first period history class on Friday morning, half asleep, when I was startled awake by Evie's frantic voice.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak to Gabe. It's urgent," she explained to the teacher, looking at me.

I pushed out of my seat, grabbed my shit and walked up to Evie. I took her hand and walked her out of the classroom quickly, not caring if that old hag gave me the permission to leave or not.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I asked her in the hallway. I didn't care that Mrs. Knight followed us into the hallway, or that a few kids had gathered around the classroom door. I was sincerely concerned.

"I don't know," she tried to speak quietly, but her voice quivered under the pressure. "I…um…went to the bathroom…and there was some blood…there shouldn't be _any_ blood. I need you to take me to the ER…I'm scared," she said, her voice cracking.

"Let's go," I told her. I didn't know what the hell to think, or even how to feel.

Evie called her doctor in the car, and he said he would see us in his office. I could tell she was trying to be strong. I could see the tears she held back, and when a few escaped she tried to wipe them away quickly.

I waited in the bright room drumming my fingers on my knees. I had called my mom on the way over, as Evie had called her father and step-mother. My mom said she would be there as soon as possible; Evie's dad couldn't leave work, and her step-mother couldn't leave the babies or bring them. I knew she was upset that her family couldn't be there for her.

The doctor didn't make us wait long. When he called Evie back, I wasn't sure if she wanted me to go with her or not. She stood and looked down at me, "You coming?" she asked. My mom wasn't here yet, and I didn't know if she really wanted me in there or was just settling for me since there was no other choice, but either way, I didn't want her to be alone.

"Yeah, I mean, if you want me too," I told her, standing up when she nodded yes.

The doctor asked Evie to lay down on the table as he wheeled an ultra-sound machine over to the bedside.

I sat down next to Evie and held her hand in an effort to comfort her. She smiled sadly at my gesture before moving her eyes to the ultrasound screen. The doctor moved the wand over her stomach, asking her a few questions like when was her last menstrual period, and did she have any cramping.

"This here," the doctor pointed to a flashing light on the screen, "is a heartbeat." He moved the wand slightly before landing on another flashing light. "And so is this."

"Two heartbeats?" Evie asked.

"Yes, but this heartbeat," the doctor showed us the second one again, which he labeled 'B', "isn't very strong. It should be around a hundred and ten to a hundred and sixty beats per minute, and it's only at about fifty. The other heartbeat is very strong, though. It looks as if you are miscarrying the second baby," he explained.

I wiped a tear from Evie's face as the doctor explained what would happen. I couldn't even begin to think straight.

There was not one baby, but two babies inside this girls body that I helped to create. It had a heartbeat, and according to the doctor it would continue to grow weaker until it eventually stopped and Evie's body would naturally expel it.

I was shocked. I was sad. I found myself mourning a life I hadn't, until that moment, actually considered a life. All of a sudden, this was real. I felt like a cold hearted asshole that I had regarded Evie's pregnancy as so much of a burden.

Evie asked what was causing her to lose the baby once the doctor gave her a few pictures of the healthy baby.

"Well, you are about seven weeks and all the organs are developing, so the chances are that there was a problem in the development. It was nothing that could have been foreseen or fixed."

He gave her a prescription for prenatal vitamins and gave her instructions as well as information as to what to expect once the baby aborted. I cringed at the word.

Evie and I walked back out to the waiting room, to find my mom and dad waiting for us.

"Oh, no! Is everything okay?" Mom asked after taking one look at Evie's blood shot eyes. She hugged her before hugging me.

"Um…they did an ultrasound, and found two heartbeats, except one isn't strong enough so the doctor said it will naturally abort in a few days…the other baby he said looks perfect," I told my parents, placing my hands in my front pockets, unsure if the words came out right. It was hard to even speak them.

"Oh, baby! I am sorry!" Mom said, hugging Evie again, and then me.. "Come on, let's go, you can come rest at our house, I know your house is busy. Gabe and I can take care of you."

I watched my Mom place her arm, around Evie's shoulder and lead her out of the blinding white room. Once we stepped in the hallway, it felt so gloomy.

"Bella, why don't you drive with Evie, I want to drive with Gabe." Dad suggested as we walked through the parking garage.

"Sure," my mom agreed easily.

"I can drive, Gabe," Dad offered, I happily handed over the keys; I had too much going on inside my mind to focus on the road.

I climbed in the passenger seat and slumped back, taking in all the new emotions I was feeling.

"I learned something seventeen years ago, when your mom and I had sex for the first time," Dad began, and I couldn't help but groan. I hated when my parents talked about sex…it was just so wrong. "I learned little by little that we decide what our lives are going be. Things happen to us along the way, but it's our reactions that matter. Sometimes bad things happen - no reason, no purpose can be seen. They just occur and we're left to pick up the pieces the best we can…Life is always a miracle, never a mistake."

"I don't feel like…I don't know," I struggled to find the words, pulling at my hair, a habit I picked up from my father. "I don't think that I have the right to be upset about this. I didn't want it in the first place, so why do I feel this way? I guess no matter how unexpected life is, it's life, and it's growing inside of Evie, and at that same time…it's being lost. I feel really helpless…not being able to save it," I opened up to my Dad. It felt freeing to be able to say aloud all of my thoughts and feelings.

"When your mom was pregnant with you, it was the hardest time in my life. I had to remind myself every hour of every day that God had a plan…My heart was broken, and I think when your heart breaks, you start to see the cracks in everything. I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us, and that our mission is to never let it."

"It's ironic how sometimes the thing you're fighting is actually yourself."

"Believe me, I know that better than you can imagine. Gabe, your whole life is about to change forever; you're opening a new chapter, and you have to give a proper goodbye to the old one. You don't want to miss these moments, even the sad ones, because you'll never get them back again."

It wasn't long until we pulled in the driveway behind my mom and Evie. I bolted out of the car and to Evie's door to help her inside.

"You okay?" I asked, wrapping my arm around her waist.

She swallowed back a few tears and nodded hesitantly. "Your mom is great," she told me. Evie's biological mom had died in a car accident when she was ten. I knew she wasn't very close to her step-mom, and I am sure having my mom was a blessing to her. Mom rushed upstairs and got some pillows and blankets and set up a spot for Evie on our couch.

She curled up on one side of the couch cocooned in the quilt my mom brought down, and I sat nervously on the other end.

I reached out and rubbed her thigh, trying to show some sort of support or comfort. Eventually she straightened out and placed her legs across my lap.

"I know saying sorry doesn't ever mean much without action, and that I could say it until I was blue in the face to you…about everything, because I am truly sorry. It's just that I want you to know that I don't want to be the guy that bails. I want to be a Dad, and I may not be ready, but I want to do this with you. As scary, unprepared, and young as I am, I don't want to miss shit because I was stupid and scared," I told her honestly, thinking back to what my dad told me about embracing life. "Are you okay? How do you feel?"

"Broken. Completely and utterly broken. It's like my heart has been ripped out and stomped on. I-I can't breathe, I don't want to eat, I can't function. It's the most intense pain that I have ever felt, and there's no way to relieve it. It's unyielding, merciless torture, and I know its mine for life," she said quietly, wiping away the few tears that escaped.

I moved up the couch and held her in my arms, "I'm sorry," I said over and over again smoothing her hair.

"I just wish you still didn't give me butterflies," she said, her voice filled with regret. I closed my eyes hating the way I treated her.

I held her cheek and moved my mouth to hers, enjoying the familiar taste of her mouth.

"Don't," she said pulling away. "Cause the thing is, the butterflies never seem to accompany the right people."

"I know I screwed up, but I know I could be better for you, we could try to make this work…be a family…I miss the way you used to look at me," I told her.

"You know, I used to spend every day thinking about you and dreaming about you, and everytime you walked by I lost myself - do you know what that feels like? And you couldn't possibly know what it feels like to have that person not have the same feelings back. Look, I'm sorry if you miss the way I looked at you, but I don't miss the way you never looked at me."

"That guy…he didn't know you…if he had…he wouldn't have walked away from you."

"I don't want to fight about this or whatever it is we are doing…I can't go back there with you…I don't _want _to go back there with you."

"I wasn't fighting with you, I was fighting with myself, because part of me wanted to send you running away and part of me just wanted to hold you tight."

"Well you made your choice, didn't you? We can still be a family, and not be in love, or be together. But I am so far from being ready to give my heart away again, and honestly, I don't think I can ever go back to loving you like that again, knowing that my love wasn't strong enough the first time," she told me as I removed myself from her side. "You wouldn't be asking me to give you another chance if I wasn't pregnant."

"I understand…I'm not really sure where my heart is…I guess I need to get back all the pieces I gave away before I can see clearly….I am here for you though. You and our baby are my first priority."

"You know I just…I want what everybody wants, I want to be important to somebody, and maybe you want that too, but, if you do, to be honest, I can't really see it. What I see when I look at you is somebody who's going through the motions of doing what is expected because he thinks its the right thing to do, I don't know; I just know that that isn't enough for me. I do want to say thank you though, Gabe. It really means a lot to know you are willing to try."

"Listen…why don't you get some rest or something…it's been a long day," I said reaching up to the table lamp and clicking the light off.

I sat there in silence as Evie drifted off to sleep. The silence was welcoming. It was almost as if we had a conversation in the stillness because the emotion behind what we really wanted to say was too overwhelming.

It was a moment where the last thing I wanted was to cry, but there wasn't much else to do. So I sat there in the dark room and let a few lonely tears slip down my cheeks.

Evie slept, even through all the chaos of Zoe, Jacey, and Lo coming in from school. I stood outside practicing my three point shot, when Lola came up to me.

"You okay? Kids at school were all talking about the drama outside Knight's class."

"No…I don't think I am okay, at all," I told her as the ball swooshed through the basketball hoop.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked as I turned to face her.

"You wore sneakers to school today?" I asked, taking in her casual, yet perfect appearance. It was that moment that I realized how much I missed her.

I took control of the pieces of my heart and knew with one look at her sneakers that she was the one that owned my heart.

"Um..,yeah, I did."

I nodded at her, then focused on the basketball hoop and spoke almost robotically. "Evie started to bleed today, and we went to get an ultrasound, and the doctor found these two tiny heartbeats. It was crazy. I mean the miracle of life or whatever is pretty amazing…anyway, in that moment it dawned on me how huge this thing is, I guess I was moved, I mean, how can you just stand there and not be moved? Then the doctor tells us the one isn't strong enough; its heartbeat is too weak. It's just going to fade…into nothing…"

"I…god, Gabe…I'm so sorry," Lo said coming closer, placing her hand on my arm.

"Everyone is so sorry…I don't need anyone to be fucking sorry!" I yelled, making Lola flinch away from me.

"I was just trying to be a friend," Lo said furrowing her eyebrows at me.

"Sorry is not going to help bring that baby back…apparently it is just life, and it sucks, and we have to fucking deal with it," I continued to yell before I threw the basketball in anger against the garage door. "You have no idea how I feel."

"You're probably right...I'm sure I don't have any idea what you're going through. How hard it is to let someone go. How painful it must be to know that there is nothing you can do to change it. I wouldn't know a thing about that. About how it makes you want to scream, or hit someone...or cry!" she yelled back at me, a few tears springing to her piercing eyes. The color in them only ringed the outside of her eyes, as they were almost completely black with anger.

Fuck, I wanted her. And she knew exactly how I felt. She went through the toughest time after her grandpa Hale passed away last year, when the doctors told them all the money in the world wouldn't get him the liver transplant he needed to survive. Apparently, there are still facets in the world where money doesn't talk, and ethics come first.

"So I don't know what to do for you other than this," she said, walking closer to me. I watched her swallow back her nerves, and listened to her ramble. " I am going to count to ten and then I'm going to hug you. And I'm not going to let go for a really long time. I'm going to tell you that I love you. Which is actually a pretty good deal. Because it means I'll do anything on the off chance it'll make you a little less sad … One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine…ten"

Did she just say she loved me?

She took one last step before hugging me awkwardly. At first I just stood there, but then I finally let myself relax into her.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Did you just say you love me?" I asked.

"You know…as like a friend. I love you…you've been a part of my life for as long as I can remember…you know," Lola stumbled over her words trying to recover.

"I gotta go make sure Evie is okay," I told her.

"Right…you should." Lola smiled at me.

I took Evie home a little while after dinner, and for some reason on the drive over she told me that she noticed the way I was with Lola. I told her she was just a friend. To which she answered that I exhaust way too much energy on a girl I call just a friend.

"Please call me if you need anything," I told her, walking her to the door.

"Thanks so much…I felt so alone before…it really helps to know I have you and your family's support."

I made sure she made it inside safely before I walked back to my car and drove home.

As I walked in the front door, I heard my Dad on the phone telling someone to calm down. What the fuck? What other shit hit the fan today.

"Em, I am sure she is fine…Gabe just got home, I will see what he knows….Gabe!" My Dad called out to me.

"What's going on?" I asked, approaching him.

"Naomi and her mother got in a fight, and Naomi left…have you talked to her at all? Do you know where she is?" he asked me.

"Naomi acts as if I don't exist now," I had a pretty good hunch as to where she was, either scoring coke or getting laid with Mr. Spencer, but I wasn't about to rat her out even more.

"I can see if I can track her down though," I said pulling out my phone to call our dealer.

Naomi, my bad girl, had she finally given up the act of perfect angel?

**Tell me what you think, good bad… I don't have this story as thought out and planned as I did LYMFoM…so if you have any suggestions, or ideas for the plot, I am open. The thought of a One Tree Hill Dan/Karen/Deb situation crossed my mind, but wondering if you think that's too soap opera-y…**


	7. Chapter 7 Suffer in Silence

**SM owns a little of this, but not much. **

**Big hugs to my new Beta Jean also known as OwnedbyTwins. **

**I have a Rec, a SERIOUS rec that needs to be read like ASAP, its Called Mens Rea: a Guilty Mind by Forbidden-fruit81 – its owning my ass hard. Go Read it. Here is the DL on it: **

**Edward Cullen is accused of murder for the slaying of his girlfriend. No one dares take on his case, until defense attorney Isabella Swan, that is. Edward proves to be a difficult client & the biggest challenge of her young but promising career.**

**And she owned my ass in the first chapter with this: **

_**"Does that bother you, Eddie? That I've had better? That you're not the best fuck I've had? You're actually kind of boring sometimes. I swear to God. If I have to fuck you missionary one more time, I might fucking run away on my own accord." **_

_**Now she was hitting him where it hurt. **_

_**"So you want to marry me," he spat the words out with venom, "so you can have horrible sex for the rest of your life? Are Manolo Blahniks really worth the trouble?" **_

**6. Suffer in Silence**

The guy we normally got coke from said that Naomi had already come and gone, with a guy in his twenties who had several tattoos; Mr. Spencer.

I asked my dad if I could use my car to look for Naomi, and he agreed. One of the perks of living in a small town, is I knew where Mr. Spencer lived. He lived in the only apartment complex in Winchester, right in the town square.

I knocked on his door, and waited nervously for him to answer. He finally did and I couldn't help but notice his drastic change in appearance. The white wife beater he wore didn't hide his nipple rings at all and I had no desire to see or know about them. His jeans were torn and hung low on his hips, and more ink than I would have expected covered his chest and upper arms. He looked nothing like the professional he attempted to be in school.

"I need to talk to Naomi; I know she is here," I said.

"I don't think she wants to talk to you," he said, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms.

"No, it's okay…let him talk." Naomi said, coming out of hiding and crossing her arms.

"Come home with me…please," I said, extending my hand.

Naomi let out a chuckle at my expense. "Is that the best you got? To make me leave with you…seriously, G…not good enough." She shook her head at me.

"I know that things between us are pretty much beyond repair right now. And I wouldn't ever presume that I could make everything better with a conversation, so that's not what this is… but I just wanted to tell you, I wanted to say ... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the pain I caused you. I'm sorry for my part in it. But mostly I'm sorry because I miss our friendship. And however far off it may be, I look forward to the day that we can be friends again."

"Gabe, I am here because of you, because of the shit my parents know about me because of you…and your lack of birth control!" Naomi yelled at me.

"I know you're scared. And don't tell me that you're not, because I know that you are. I mean, I've known you too long and have seen you push away too many good things to let you push me away right now. My whole life, you have been the most beautiful thing in my world. And my feelings for you were what proved to me that I could be great. And those feelings were stronger and wiser and more persistent and more resilient than anything else about me. And I made mistakes and bad choices because of that, too! I used to be able to look in your eyes and know everything you were thinking…but these days…I haven't got a clue. I don't know much, but I know this…you being here…is not going to make shit better…only worse…for you and him." I said, motioning to Mr. Spencer in disgust. "So come with me…not for me, for you."

"I'll be down in a minute," Naomi said, after a few tense moments.

I drove Naomi back to her house in silence. I pulled into her driveway and she just sat there staring at the stone house. "You gonna go in?" I asked after several minutes.

"Come with me?" she asked, finally making eye contact with me.

I could never say no to her. I got out of the car and opened her door for her. She linked her arm with mine and walked up to the door, holding me close.

Her black eyeliner was smudged into raccoon eyes from all the silent tears she had let fall during the car ride.

I opened her front door slowly and let her walk in first.

"Naomi! Is that you?" I heard Rose's footsteps approach us, getting louder with each step she took.

"Yeah, Mom," Naomi said, taking off her jacket.

"What is wrong with you? Why do you do such idiotic things?" Rose yelled. She didn't even seem to notice me.

""Why can't you see me, Mom? When did you give up on me, when I was five? Ten? Twelve? I'm sixteen-years-old, Mom. I'm here and I'm not perfect. I try so hard for you and it's your job to love me no matter who I am or what I become. Because you're my mother, Mom. You're supposed to love me so much."

"Naomi! You break every rule, every value your father and I taught you! You lie like it's your full time job! I don't know what to think of who you have become! I think I'm going to send you to a boarding school, I just don't know what else to do!" Rose continued to yell.

I watched the black tears run down Naomi's face. I pulled her close and hugged her. "No! I am not being shipped off! You can't make me go!" Naomi yelled back.

"Gabe, this is a family issue. I think you should leave," Rose said a little more calmly.

"No…because Naomi is my family, and you don't know anything about her. She's great. I mean she's...she's smart. She's beautiful. She's funny. She's a big scaredy cat. If you creep up behind her she'll jump out of her skin. It's pretty amusing. Um…she's honest. She always calls them just like she sees them. You can always count on getting the truth from Naomi, even if it hurts. She's stubborn. But you are so busy telling her how to be, she can't be herself! So busy passing judgment, she hides things from you, afraid of disappointing you! We can fight a lot. She can be so frustrating sometimes. But she's a really, really good friend. And loyal to a fault, and God, if she goes away I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean she's...she's my best friend…so she made some mistakes…we both made a lot of mistakes, but she doesn't need to hear you yell at her and put her down about them."

I most likely just completely over stepped my boundaries.

"Gabe, I think Rose and I need to talk to Naomi in private. I appreciate you finding her. And I appreciate your friendship with her. But, we need to talk." Emmett said, entering the room calmly. "Come here, baby," he said to Naomi, who immediately left my side and ran for comfort in her father's arms. Naomi peeked at me as I turned to go, and I looked at her, and in that split second it was like she forgave me for everything.

I was incredibly depressed the following week. I lost my best friend…then I lost a baby. I was too depressed to give Lola anything worth a shit, even though I wanted to.

"Gabe?" Zoe said, standing a few feet from my doorway. I wanted to tell her to get lost, but for some reason, I thought I'd act like a decent brother.

"What's up, Zoe?" I asked, motioning for her to come into my room.

"Are Mom and Dad going to get a divorce?" she asked, crawling on my bed.

"That's crazy Zoe, where the hell would you get such an idea?"

"Mom and Dad…I heard them fighting. I never heard Dad yell at Mom like that," she told me, tracing the design on her flannel pants.

"What were they fighting about?"

"You," she said, bringing her eyes to mine. "Dad said they should have been more proactive about the whole church thing, and Mom said it didn't do any good for Rose and Emmett."

"But it's not like one of them said divorce…right?" I asked to make sure.

"No…but isn't that how divorce starts? With a yelling and blaming?"

"It's just a fight, Zoe, they love each more than any other couple I have ever seen. All couples fight, even the strongest ones," I assured her. "Divorce isn't even in their vocabulary, Zoe."

"You're sure?" she said, testing me.

"Positive," I told her with a smile.

"Jacey told me you kissed Lola…is it true?" Zoe asked me with a wide grin.

"I'm not talking to you about who I kiss," I told her, cocking an eyebrow at her.

"Whatever…I just like Lola…I think you should keep kissing her."

"Get out!" I laughed at her. I wanted nothing more than to keep kissing Lola. I was not about to confide that to my little sister, though.

Zoe retreated to her room before I ventured downstairs. I entered the kitchen to see Lola attempting to reach for something on a high shelf. Her shirt was riding up slightly, and I could see her taut stomach, and I noticed her belly button was an outtie. I wanted her.

"Need a hand?" I asked. She came off her tip toes and adjusted her shirt.

"Sure," she said, trying not to make eye contact with me. I walked over and brushed against her arm, reached up, and easily grabbed the glass.

"Here," I said, handing it to her. I stood and stared at her, backing her into the corner cabinet. "How can I simply be friends with someone when every time I look at them all I can think of is how much more I want?" I asked her quietly.

She shook her head quickly, and pursed her lips together, before she mumbled, "I don't know."

I nodded at her and admitted, "In the best, most desirable way…you scare me. I love the way you scare me, but it makes me nervous, so I spend all this energy coming up with ideas to be smart so that you don't think I'm stupid and those ideas backfire and just make me look even more stupid. It's a vicious circle, and I'm at the end of my rope because all I really want to do is kiss you and feel if I don't kiss you soon I'm gonna explode."

"How long have you wanted to kiss me?" Lo asked, sounding as if she was out of breath. I moved closer.

"Well, it's just something that I've been thinking about, and I wanted you to know that I was thinking about it. You know, I was just gonna... keep my mouth shut and let you go, but," I let out a sigh, "it's not me. That's some merchant ivory movie, you know, where people suffer in silence, and you're supposed to be so impressed by their restraint. Well... sorry, but screw that," I said, cupping her face in my palm.

"You can't," her words didn't match the tone of her voice. "I don't know why you want me…is this just a game to you?" she asked.

"No," I told her, furrowing my eyebrows together. I couldn't blame her for thinking that. "I want you because you're beautiful, and you don't know it; because you're smart, and you don't believe it. You're the kind of girl that guys never get over. Lo, you're the kind of girl that other girls get compared to… The other day, when I told you what happened with Evie, I wanted to kiss you so badly."

"Even when you were yelling at me?"

"Especially when I was yelling at you."

"When you kiss me…it makes me feel alive."

I titled her chin up, sucked in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. "Okay, Lo, I am going to kiss you now," I told her.

"You can't," she said, shaking her head nervously.

"Lo, you can't say something like that to me and expect me not to kiss you, so that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna kiss you in about ten seconds. And if you don't want me to kiss you, well, if you don't want me to, I guess then you're just gonna have to stop me. One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine…ten," I held her jaw as I leaned down slightly and felt the silkiness of her lips against mine.

"I mean it," I assured her, against her lips. Those words seemed to free her. She began to kiss me back. Her tongue started moving sensually against mine. I held her close against my body feeling her curves as her hands grabbed frantically in my hair. It was as if we couldn't get close enough.

We had denied each other as long as either of us could bear it. I pulled her away from the counter and walked backwards towards the couch. I didn't dare break the kiss. My hands moved to her silky hair as I stumbled over the huge history book I had left in the middle of the floor earlier. I kicked it across the carpet and nudged Lola down on the couch. I fell on top of her, my leg between hers as our kiss intensified with each passing second.

I moved my hand to her tit, and began to feel her through the outside of her shirt. Her hand darted up and removed mine.

"What's wrong?" I asked, breaking the kiss. Lola started to push me back, and I wasn't happy that our make-out session was being cut short. I kneeled in front of her on the couch as she sat up straighter, pushing her hair behind her ears.

"It's just…too fast. I'm not really ready for things to go that far," she told me.

"Um..I…I," I didn't really know what to say. Was it okay that things with her would go slower than I was used to?

Yes. With Lola it was.

"Okay…I didn't mean to push your limits. Slow then?" I asked.

"It's just… I don't want to rush anything. I don't want to get hurt, or be forced to grow up too fast because I wanted to feel good or whatever. I don't want to have sex for the first time for _any_ reason. I want to have sex for the first time for _every_ reason."

"I love it when you ramble," I chuckled at her. "So, are you like saving yourself for marriage or whatever?" I asked.

"If I am, is that, like, a deal breaker for you?" she asked me back.

"I didn't say that; I just want to know where it all stands," I told her.

"I didn't say that I was waiting for marriage; I just said I was waiting for every reason."

"Slow it is," I said, sitting on the couch. "Just so I know my boundaries," I said, looking at her with a smile. "Is this okay?" I asked, holding her hand.

She looked at me and nodded yes.

"And this?" I asked, kissing her lips.

Again she nodded.

"This?" I asked, kissing her again, but this time adding my tongue against hers.

"Yes," she whispered against my lips.

"And asking you to go to the movies with me Friday night, where I will hold your hand, and stretch my arms so one conveniently rests on your shoulders during the movie, is that acceptable?" I questioned, placing my hand on her cheek and stroking her face with my thumb.

"Very acceptable," Lola nodded.

"And tomorrow on the drive to school I can hold your hand? I can open the car door for you and take your hand in mine as I walk you to class?"

"Everyone will think I'm your girlfriend," she said, her eyes diverting down to my lips.

"As they should," I told her, lifting her chin up.

"Technically, I am not allowed to have a boyfriend until I am sixteen," she told me shyly.

"Huh," I said, a bit caught off guard by the fact Jasper was that conservative. "But you can go out on a date?" I asked, since she did agree to go to the movies with me.

"I have to be in a group," she said shyly.

"Not a big deal," I said shrugging it off. Although, I was a little disappointed, to say the least. I just hoped that she couldn't tell.

"Do you care if we just…not make a big deal out of this?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I wanted her to clarify what exactly she wanted from me. I didn't understand girls at all.

"Just, I don't…I guess I just want to take things slow, wait to tell people," she attempted to clarify. It only left me more confused.

Five minutes ago she was telling me I have to mean it, now she is telling me she doesn't want people to know. I was beyond confused.

"So, you want to be with me, and you want me to be serious about wanting you, yet you don't want me to treat you like my girlfriend in front of anyone, is this correct?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Yeah…I know it's strange, and it's not like I don't want you to hold my hand in the hallway of school, or whatever, I just am not ready to fight with my parents over all those things. And trust me, my Dad isn't ready."

"Even for me? I mean your Dad and I are close, he might even like it," I told her.

"Ummm…no, not at all. He would hate it actually. He doesn't hate you, I'm not saying that! He loves you. But he says and I quote, 'my Lola will not be allowed within fifty feet of any boys that are like me,' and Gabe, you are so much like he was as a teenager."

"So this is just between you and me," I stated, to make sure we were on the same page. It was so hard to navigate through this book.

"For now, I think that would be best."

"Are you sure you aren't going to go run and tell Jacey?" I teased her. Because that is exactly how Zoe had found out about our first kiss. "Cause she tells Zoe everything and Zoe can't keep a secret to save her life." I smirked at her.

I backed away from her when I heard the front door open and close. It was hard to hide the laughter as my mom walked into the kitchen. I couldn't keep eye contact with Lola… I knew if we kept looking at each other we wouldn't be able to keep it in.

"Lola, give me ten minutes and then we can go - are you ready?" Mom asked her, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Yeah," Lo nodded, walking to the other side of the kitchen island.

"Okay, I will be down as soon as I change," Mom told her, heading upstairs.

"Where are you going?"

"I have a doctor's appointment," Lola shrugged.

"Are you sick?" I asked her, not only because I just made out with her, but because I was concerned.

"I don't think it's a big deal, but my mom wants me to go. I just haven't had that much energy. If it were up to me I wouldn't even be going, but my mom says I have to."

"Yeah, sounds like your mom being a Mom," I told her. I didn't think that it sounded like a big enough deal to warrant a trip to the doctor either. "See you when you get back?" I asked quietly. I could hear my mom's footsteps coming closer.

"Sure," she smiled, answering both me and my mom who called for her by the front door.

"See ya," she said, throwing a hooded sweatshirt over her head.

I had to push back the desire I felt to kiss her good bye. I wanted to just simply kiss the side of her head, tell her to be safe.

But she didn't want me to do things like that. There was one thing I was sure of - girls thoroughly confused the fuck out of me. And Lola was the biggest offender.

**Please Review!! I love to read them all! I would offer teasers, but RL is kicking my ass...I actually should be studying for my med surg test tomorrow, yeah, my school sucks and I have 3 days for spring break...kicking my ass!**


	8. Chapter 8 Wait For Me

**SM owns Twilight. **

**This is brought to you today by OwnedbyTwins. Thanks for the beta skillz! **

**AN at the bottom about my other stories. **

**Wait for Me**

I sat behind the cash register at the shitty car wash. I just wanted the night to end. The pitter patter of the rain told me that no one would be in that evening to have their car cleaned.

Things with Lola were strange, to say the least. She snuck into my room at night, and we kissed, a lot. But then she would leave, and we would act like nothing had happened. Friday night came around, and I was all ready to take her to the movies, but she backed out. I could feel her pulling away from me since she backed out Friday night, I just didn't know why.

I leaned back in my chair, leaving only two of the legs on the ground, while I read a magazine about cars, when the ring of the bell brought my eyes up to Naomi.

"Hey," she said, with a small wave.

I let the chair clink to the ground and stood up. I walked to the counter and leaned over it. "Hey," I said in return.

"I, ah…I just wanted to come say bye," she said, walking to the counter.

"Bye?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows at her.

"Yeah…I am going to get some help. My dad found this rehab place…a few hours away. I agreed to go. Things are just…I don't know, out of control. I am out of control. I want to go get help. I couldn't leave though, not without saying good bye to you," she said, looking up at me. I was so tired of seeing her raccoon eyes from crying. I walked around the counter and hugged her. I let her cry on my shoulder; her body shook with each sob she tried to suppress. I smoothed her hair as she continued to cry.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked, as she stepped out of my hug, wiping her eyes.

"It's thirty days…that is, if I don't screw up. It could be longer. Listen, Gabe, I just want to say how sorry I am. It's like all my choices were motivated by fear. Like if I made one wrong move the world was going to end. But I think I finally understand, maybe it's about taking a deep breath e and forgiving yourself for yesterday's mistakes. Gabe, I made such a mistake letting you go. I know it's so unfair to ask you to wait for me, but please…do you think you could? I need you," she said, her bottom lip quivering.

"Nay…things with me right now, they aren't so clear," I told her, placing my thumb over her quivering lip. "I don't really know what's going on right now. I know I was a bad friend," I told her before she interrupted me.

"Gabe, you're not a bad friend. I don't get to say it much anymore, but...you're my best friend. You always were."

"Naomi, no matter where you are, no matter where your life may take you, you'll always have a piece of my heart," I told her, because she always would.

"But you won't…wait for me?" she asked slowly.

"I think we both need to focus on fixing _ourselves_." I wasn't about to tell her I was interested in Lola.

"Well…my dad is waiting for me outside," Naomi said, pointing outside. I pulled her close to me again, and kissed the top of her head.

"You're doing the right thing," I told her when she pulled away. A small smile crept across my face as I watched her go; I was so happy she was taking a step in the right direction. It seemed like we were growing in the same direction after the huge fall out. I always wished deep down she would step up, since I had to. I didn't want to leave her behind, and I knew I couldn't stay around her either and still be a good father.

Finally nine o'clock rolled around and I closed up the car wash. When I came into the house I noticed my mom talking on the phone. "Alice, don't worry. The doctor just gave us some vitamins. It's really not a big deal….yes….okay well, Gabe just walked in, so can we talk later? I will…bye," she said, putting down the phone with a sigh. "Hey, baby," she greeted me with a warm smile.

I assumed she was telling Alice about Lola's doctor's appointment. "Can you bring these up to Lola?" Mom asked, handing me a glass of water and a bottle of multi vitamins.

"Sure," I said, taking them from her.

I got to the door next to mine and knocked gently. I waited for Lola to say come in, before I pushed the door open and announced I had come bearing gifts.

"Here you go." I handed her the vitamins and placed the water down.

"Thanks," she said, rolling her eyes at the vitamins. "I guess they suspect like an iron deficiency or something, I don't know. I have to go back next week for blood tests. Seriously I never want to complain to my mother about anything ever again. This is just way more hassle then it's worth," she laughed.

"Yeah...guess I see your point," I said, rocking back on my bare feet. I watched her lick her top lip before biting her bottom one. She stood from her bed and walked past me to shut the door. She came up behind me and trailed her hand down my back, then to my sides, and slowly walked around so she was standing in front of me. I grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled her closer to me before kissing her.

I felt her mouth curl up into a smile as we kissed. "So," she said, breaking the kiss.

"So," I repeated as I pecked her lips.

"Don't be mad, but like a month ago, I agreed to go to the frosh with Kevin Shay," she said, trailing her fingers down my chest.

"I'm not mad. Jealous on the other hand, well, that's a different story," I smirked at her.

"It's a stupid freshman dance. It's not as if anyone is actually going to dance. We will all stand around drinking punch while the DJ plays songs no one dances to. It will be no fun, and awkward, and honestly I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to go. No, that's not true. I was thinking my mom would be pleased, and look, she isn't even here for it," Lola said, finally taking in a breath.

"Well as long as you don't dance with him...or he doesn't try to kiss you, cause I don't want to have to kick some poor freshman's ass, I think I can handle it," I told her, before capturing her lips with mine.

I had no clue what we were to one another. I had come to believe in not defining every single thing; seems like every time you think you've figured out what something is, it just becomes something else. I wasn't in a rush to define anything with Lola. If she was content to make out a few nights a week and keep it simple, I was in no rush to complicate it. She just wanted to know that I truly did care on a deeper level. That I wasn't just playing games or having fun.

I was becoming impatient, not even getting to feel her up. I moved my hands up and down her side, venturing to touch the skin under her shirt. I rubbed my thumbs over her hip bones before moving one hand to her stomach. I gingerly moved my fingertips over her stomach, trailing them a little above her belly button.

"Can I move my hand higher?" I asked, kissing and licking around her ear. When she nodded yes, I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips as I tried not to move my hand up to her breast too quickly. I nimbly moved my thumb over her bra covered nipple feeling it instantly harden under my gentle touch.

I was afraid of pushing her too far, too fast. I didn't linger under her shirt. I wanted her to know I was okay with slow. That even though I would have loved to fondle, lick, and nibble on her tits, I didn't need to. I wanted her to know she was setting the pace. She was the one in control. I wasn't going to try to unclasp her bra, or make her do anything more than she wanted.

I knew it was a big deal for Lola to have someone to feel her tits, and I didn't want her to get overwhelmed with it. Therefore, I didn't linger. I moved my hand back down to her side and enjoyed just touching her bare skin.

I felt her smile against my lips as she darted her tongue out to stroke mine. "What's so funny?" I whispered, inches from her mouth.

"That was nice. Thank you...for not pushing...but I...ah...think I can handle it," she chuckled sweetly, taking hold of my hand and placing it on her breast over her cotton t shirt.

"Well, I don't know if I can," I said, giving her tit a gentle squeeze before moving my hand away. "Cause you do that, and I have this urge to push you onto that bed, and then, well let's just say I can't be held responsible for my actions," I smirked at her.

Lola looked down shyly before returning her gaze back to mine. "I got you something," she smiled brightly at me.

"Why?" I asked confused. I was completely caught off guard.

"Well, technically they're for the baby...I just couldn't resist when I saw them," I watched her reach down by her bed and grab a small bag, which she handed me and then slowly sat down on her bed. "I didn't wrap it, it's just something small."

I took a seat next to her and apprehensively opened the bag. Sure, I had accepted that a baby was coming, but to actually be given something for the baby, that was a different story all together. I pulled out two onesies; both were white that had big black letters. The first said, "My Dad Rocks." It made me smile. I pulled out the next one that said, "If you think I'm cute you should see my daddy." I looked at Lo, and shook my head. "So you think I'm cute?" I asked, arching my eyebrow at her.

"I think that's obvious," her lips disappeared into her big smile.

"Thank you, Lola. These are great." I put the shirts back in the bag and moved to give her a simple peck on the lips. Of course when Lola was involved nothing was ever simple.

She eagerly stroked her tongue against mine, pulling me on top of her, the last place I wanted to be. I instantly felt my dick stand to attention as she hitched her leg over my hip. I couldn't resist the urge to move my hand to the back of her thigh. I expected her to stop me, or move away but she allowed my hand to rub up and down her thigh as our lips and tongues moved in unison with one another.

With each stroke my hand made on her thigh I moved higher. One more inch and I would be feeling her luscious ass. I moved my hand at a snail's pace until it reached her ass check. I felt her press against me and moan into my mouth; I took this as a green light to explore.

Just as I let my hand massage her cheek, the door opened. We had been making out for a good week in my room, it figures the one time we give in and have some fun in her room we get busted.

"_What the hell is going on_?" Jasper's voice roared as Lola and I quickly removed ourselves from the bed.

"Daddy, calm down," Lola barely whispered. I stood uneasily with my hands in my pocket, afraid to look Jasper in the eyes. He knew the games I had played in the past with girls. Lola was dead on when she said he'd be pissed.

"Calm down! You want me to calm down?" Jasper continued to yell. I finally looked up at him, and was ashamed of the shit I had told him about. About how I screwed girls just to add another notch, and how he told me that wasn't the reputation I wanted to make for myself, because one day, I would want to impress someone's dad...and I would fall horribly short. I looked down at the ground, because I had fallen short, not by an inch, but probably more like miles. "What the hell are you doing, Gabe?" Jasper seethed. "Look at me, Gabe!" he said, coming closer to me.

"It's not like that, Jasper, I swear. I really care about her." I tried to look him in the eyes. I don't think my words helped. All they seemed to do was ignite his anger more.

"How dare you try to pull the shit you have pulled on other girls on _my daughter_!" he yelled, pointing to his chest before grabbing a hold of my shirt between his now white knuckles.

"Get the fuck off me!" I spat in his face, trying to squirm out of his grip. It was useless, he pushed me up against the back wall, knocking off a picture Lola had hung of the two of them, the glass shattering on the ground. The sound made by the breaking glass could barely be heard over Lo's startled scream.

"Daddy! Please! Daddy! Stop!" Lola cried. I wasn't scared, though, I knew Jasper wouldn't hurt me.

"Jazz!" I heard my mom call out before my dad pulled Jasper away from me. My mom pushed her way over to me and smoothed out my shirt. She placed her hands on my face and asked if I was okay. I nodded at her silently.

"Can someone please explain to me what is going on here?" my dad asked, standing guard between me and Jasper.

"Your son - that is what the problem is! Screwing Naomi senseless wasn't good enough for him! He had to leech onto _my_ Lola too! I won't fucking have him sinking his teeth into her, too! I won't have him adding her to his list of conquests! What the hell! Don't you two pay attention to what's going on? Your son can't seem to keep his pants up for more than a day!"

"That's bullshit! Lola and I haven't done anything more than kiss!" I shot back.

"Well, that's the last time that will happen!" Jasper's anger was not deflating, as he pointed his finger in my direction.

"Daddy! I am not a little girl anymore!" Lola defiantly yelled.

Jasper began to yell back before my mom took control. "You are fourteen years old! You are far from a grown up, Lola!"

"Enough!" Mom yelled over all the chaos. The room fell silent. "Jasper, I understand why you are so upset. But, this," my mom said, motioning around the room, "is not going to solve anything. Edward and I had no idea Lola and Gabe had developed feelings for each other! I think we all should just sit down and talk about this," my mom calmly suggested.

"Get your stuff, Lo, you're coming home," Jasper said, ignoring my mom's suggestion.

"You don't have to do that, Jasper. You have an important series of games coming up this week. Please. Let's just talk about this," my dad urged.

"Fine," Jasper conceded through gritted teeth.

"Gabe, go to your room, and stay there," my mom demanded of me.

I stalked to my room and slammed the door, pulling at my hair as I suppressed the urge to yell out obscenities. What the fuck could I say to make him see how much Lola meant to me? That she wasn't like the other girls I fucked with?

After a few minutes of pacing, I calmed down enough to crack open my door in an attempt to hear what was being said.

"You can't keep her locked away, Jazz. I understand Gabe doesn't have the best track record but that doesn't mean he is a bad kid," my mom defended me.

"Bella, no offense, but I think I know your son on a level that you, as his mother, are too blind to even acknowledge. I don't want my daughter to end up another girl he fucked on a bet, or as you used to say, fucked and chucked."

"That's not fair, Jazz. Gabe has just been a little lost. He deserves a chance! And you know as well I do that forbidding them to be together will only push them closer together." Fuck, my dad shouldn't have to say shit like that! But I screwed up and made so many ass backwards choices he had to fucking say it.

"Lola isn't allowed to have a boyfriend! I don't care what they think they are doing, but they are not continuing it! I don't care who the guy is! Not Joe Jonas, not that Rpattz hair guy, and not your son!" I could hear Jasper pacing in my kitchen as he struggled to keep his tone even.

"Fine, Jasper. If that is how you want to handle this, Bella and I will do whatever is in our power to make sure Gabe and Lola keep their distance. Just, if that is your decision, please don't base it on my son's past sins. Please, do it because you as a father don't feel like your daughter is ready to start dating. Gabe is a good boy."

"Edward....I am sorry for the things I said about Gabe back there. I know he is a good kid...but Lola, she isn't ready for everything Gabe comes with. It's not because he is a bad kid. I love him like a son. But Lola, she is innocent. Naïve, even. I don't think she understands the heartbreak she could face. I'm just not sure she is ready to face that...and Gabe...well I think he thinks he is over Naomi, but I am the one that listened to him worship the ground she walked on for the past two years. If she walked in that door, I don't doubt Lola would be left in the dust, and I am not going to let her heart be broken like that. I'm just not. It all reminds me of you and me Bella. I don't want Lo hurt like I was back then. I know I got over it, but I want to protect her from it."

"We understand, Jazz. We will talk to the kids and make sure they do as well," my mom soothed.

I made my way out my bedroom door, to find Lola sitting on the top step listening, just as I had been, to the conversation our parents were having. Her elbows were perched on her knees and her chin was in her hands. Her plump lips turned in a slight pout. I knew she was pretty, but it was then I saw how stunning she actually was. Her cheek bones sat high, yet perfectly round when she smiled, her bright green eyes jumped out immediately against the same dark hair as her mothers. Then, when she smiled, those full pouty lips that I swear called out to me, would disappear into her perfectly white teeth. Her petite nose was certainly exactly like her mothers.

"So," I drawled out as she looked up at me.

"Told you he'd be pissed," Lola said, shaking her head. I took a seat next to her on the step, trying hard to keep my hands to myself.

"Might have gone over better if he didn't catch us in bed, ya know… if you had just told him you wanted to go out with me."

"So will you wait for me?" Lola asked.

"I'm not going anywhere," I told her.

"Even to Naomi...is my dad right about her?" Lola swallowed. "Would you leave me behind if she walked in the door for you right now? I mean you didn't just settle for me because you couldn't have her, right?"

"I didn't settle for you, Lola. I meant everything I told you. As for Naomi...I love her. I don't think that will ever change, but it's never easy with her. It's not like you. My feelings for her, and my feelings for you, they are completely separate from each other," I told her.

"But you would choose her?" Lola asked, begging me to give her an answer I didn't have.

"Are you asking me to make a choice?" I asked back, unwilling to answer her question.

"I'm asking you if my father's right, Gabe."

"I don't know, Lola. I can't bear the thought of losing either of you. That probably is unfair to both of you. It's selfish of me, but I need you both for different reasons. You each add unique things to my life that I don't want to lose."

"Cause, my dad is going to say I can't see you...and I-I don't want to lose this-this feeling I have with you," she said, closing her eyes. She shook her head like she could shake away the tears she tried to hold back. "And once Naomi comes back, I'll lose you to her. I just know it."

"Your dad... he is a smart man. And I can't promise you that I wouldn't go back with Naomi...if she told me all or nothing, I can't say I could walk away. I can tell you, that if I could keep her friendship and your heart, I wouldn't even have a choice to make. I can only tell you how I feel right now, and right now...I don't want to lose either of you. If I had to choose all or nothing right now between you two...I honestly have no clue what I would do. Things are so screwed up with me right now. As much as I want to be with you, you deserve better than 'I don't know'; you deserve someone who would say, hands down, you would be the one no matter what the consequences were. I am just not there yet, as much as I thought I was, as much as I want to be, after hearing your dad, after having to answer to you about it, I'm not there yet. But I'd like to be. Maybe I should be the one asking you to wait for me..." I let my voice fade out in disappointment. "I'm sorry, Lo."

"I'd wait for you, Gabe," Lola said, with absolute certainty in her voice.

"You are too good for me," I told her, honestly feeling lost. I wouldn't lie to her. I wouldn't lie to myself.

I got up and started to walk downstairs. I had to start growing up. If I wanted Jasper to let me near Lola someday, if I was lucky enough, I needed to start now.

"Gabe, I thought I told you to stay upstairs," my mom said.

"I thought I might be able to say something...about things with Lola, if that is okay?" I asked, looking at Jasper. He nodded for me go ahead.

"I'm sorry for the way things happened. I'm sorry we didn't tell anyone the feelings we developed for each other, and I do care about her. So much so, that I don't want to hurt her. And I honestly can't say that what Jasper said about Naomi isn't true. I don't know if it is or isn't, but I care enough about your daughter not to risk hurting her. I am willing to do whatever it takes be good enough for her. She makes me want to be a better person. And I just want to do the right thing. And if the right thing is taking a few steps back to figure some things out, and prove that I can be good enough for her, then that's what I am going to do," I finished.

"Gabe, I know you mean well. I do. But one day when you have a daughter, and that could be in only seven more months, you will find out that no one is good enough for your little girl. We will see what happens, Gabe. I just want to keep her safe and happy. My girl's happiness is my first priority."

"I only want to make sure she is happy and safe as well. That's why I am going to keep my distance from Lola. And simply wait."

"Gabe, I don't doubt your feelings for my daughter. I just don't think it's the right time. I do respect the maturity you are showing towards the situation," Jasper said before embracing me in a hug. "I better go talk to Lola, now. I have to leave for my flight in two hours, I don't want to leave things like this," Jasper said before patting me on the back and heading up to talk to Lo.

Guess it could have gone a lot worse. Then again waiting was not something I was good at.

**Happy Easter!! I do have teasers to send out for anyone that reviews! **

**Any Wicked Angel Readers out there, the update is coming! I wrote the first ½ of the next chapter and my co-author who was writing with me had a RL issue get in the way. I am thinking anyday, just prolly not today! I am most likely the only author going to post on a major holiday! **

**Also A Perfect Love, ½ of the next chapter is also written, and Robinated is working on the other ½ **


	9. Chapter 9 Lost and Found

**SM owns not me.**

**Jean beta'd this SUPER fast, guess cause she is getting ready to have a fun filled weekend with Jackson and the 100 Monkeys! YAY!! Have fun!! Wish I was going, but the North Star in Philly is just WAY to hot and sweaty for me! Plus, already bought Jackson way too many shots of Jameson last time he was in town filiming The Last Airbender. Oh and I am a poor student. That is the main reason I am not going... the other ones just make me feel better for missing Jackson. (He is so yummy, Twilight and New Moon do that man no justice!) **

**Right on to the story! **

**Lost and Found**

Seven more months, and I was going to have a baby. The thought both excited and frightened me. I knew how delicate life was. I even came to realize how important, and how much I loved, the baby Evie was carrying. I knew I would never go back to change things, even if the opportunity presented itself.

I also had the sense to know that for the next eighteen years I would be responsible for a life, and I myself had yet to even live eighteen years. I didn't know how to change a diaper, or make a bottle. I had no clue what to do with all the snaps on the baby clothes I saw, or how all the seats, swings, and bouncy things worked.

Evie, was getting excited. She told me in six more weeks she would get her next ultrasound, and they would be able to tell the sex of the baby. "I hope it's a girl," she told me in the lunch room.

"I hope it doesn't cry a lot," I laughed, "or shit a lot."

"I was thinking if it was a girl, we could name her after my mom?" she asked.

"Whatever you want," I told her. I hadn't really thought about names, so I didn't have an opinion. At the end of the day it was just a name, and if she had something in mind that meant something to her, I wasn't about to take that away from her.

As days went on, I think we both accepted the loss of Baby 'B'. It just wasn't meant to happen. It wasn't in God's plan; that is what Evie said all the time about it.

In a few days, Naomi would be coming back from rehab. I hadn't heard from her at all. My mom told me bits and pieces about her, and that she was doing really well. Emmett and Rose were happy with the steps she had taken so far to overcome her addictions. My mom let that word, 'addictions', slip one day. I immediately questioned her about it. She had gone to rehab because she was addicted to coke.

"_Gabe, the reason Naomi liked cocaine so much was because it took away her appetite. She has been anorexic for a few years. I can't believe none of us saw it." _I remembered my mom telling me the night before.

I couldn't believe she hadn't told me. She was skinny, but I didn't think she was too skinny. I had no clue she thought she was heavy, or that she couldn't let her weight go over a hundred pounds. I didn't have a clue she was so insecure, but, hearing it, it all seemed to click together. The way she acted. It just suddenly clicked. I ached for her. I wanted to just hold her and tell her how awesome she was. I wanted to affirm for her everything she was. I couldn't. She didn't write; she didn't call. It only served to mind fuck me even more over my feelings for Lola.

I did exactly as Jasper had asked and stopped pursuing her. It was a challenge to say the least. Whenever I say her pad down the hallway in her tank top and sweat pants I got a hard on. Not to mention the few times we bumped into each other coming and going from the bathroom in the middle of the night. I never failed to notice how her tits looked under the white tank top, with no bra. My mom and dad must have asked me twenty times if I'd had sex with her.

*Flashback*

"_Gabe, you didn't have sex with Lola, did you?" Mom questioned._

"_No," I told her, making sure to make eye contact with her and my Dad._

"_Are you sure? Cause you can tell us," Dad asked again._

"_I said I didn't have sex with her! I didn't even come close to having sex with her!" I stated. I didn't know how to make them believe me._

"_She is really young, Gabe. I don't know what Jasper and Alice plan on letting happen, or not happen. But please keep in mind how fragile she is," my mom urged me._

"_I know, Ma! Do you think I don't know! It just...happened. I don't know how it happened...it just did. I mean, I was acting like a jerk, and I kissed her. Then she tells me how she has had a crush on me for a long time, and not to kiss her unless I mean it...and I left, because it's all so confusing, and I wasn't sure what I meant. But I couldn't get her out of my head, so we gave in. It's not like we had been sneaking in each others' rooms to make out for weeks, it was only one week. And we only ever kissed," I told them. I wasn't sure how the hell they got me to talk, but I always did. I always told them way more than any other teenager would tell. _

"_But you're confused because of Naomi?" my Dad asked. I just nodded at him._

"_I just can't lose Naomi completely, and before she left, she said she wanted to get back together. I didn't tell her about Lo and me, because I was afraid of how she would react. She is an all or nothing, stubborn girl. I'm not sure I could lose my friendship with her, but my heart belongs to Lo. Naomi though, she is like my constant. They are like air and water to me. I don't know how to live without either of them, and I don't know that I can have both. I don't want Lola to get hurt while I try to figure it out."_

"_Gabe, Jasper was like my Naomi...he forgave me. He got over it; it just took some time. It was a tough few months that I spent without my best friend, but our friendship was better in long run because of it. Follow your heart, baby." _

While I was thinking of my heart, she took a seat at the lunch table with me and Evie in a huff, breaking the trance I was in. "Gahhh! I am so annoyed!"

"What's wrong?" I asked, tickling her sides a little to make her smile, which worked like a charm.

"Stop it!" she laughed, wiggling out of my grip.

"What's the magic word?" I asked, continuing to tickle her sides.

"Please!" Lo gasped out, "Please, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard!" I complied, and once Lo caught her breath after sending me a look that could kill, she seemed to forget how annoyed she was and asked what Evie and I had been talking about.

"Baby names," I told her.

"Ohhh!!! I love baby names, tell me!!" Lola squealed excitedly.

"I was just asking Gabe if he minded naming the baby after my mom if it was a girl," Evie filled Lola in.

"What was your mom's name?" Lola asked.

"Her name was Lucille; I was thinking we could name her Lucille Isabella, then call her Lula," Evie shrugged.

"You want to name her after my mom too?" I asked.

"Yeah, your mom has been amazing," Evie said.

"Awww, I think it's perfect! But what if it's a boy?"

"I don't know...do you have anything, Gabe?" Evie asked.

"Uh...I haven't really given names any though...Lucas maybe - it's close to your mom's name," I suggested.

"Lucas Edward, I like that." Evie glowed.

"So, we have a little Luke or Lula! How cute! I must say, L names are the way to go," Lo said with pride.

"Technically Lo, you're Charlotte; you aren't actually L, you're C," I corrected her.

"Don't ever use that name aloud again, Gabriel Cash!" Lola yelled at me softly.

"I have no problem with _my_ name, it's a kick ass name if I do say so myself. So sorry my parents didn't rub off on yours in the name department!" I teased her.

"I have to go; I have a meeting with the guidance counselor about how all this is going to work so I can graduate on time. I will talk to you guys later?" Evie asked, getting up. Lo and I both nodded at her and said bye.

"So, my Mom comes back in a few days," Lo stated, reminding me that there would be an empty space in my house soon with her absence. "But, my Dad just texted me, I guess they got my blood results back, and I have to go back, they think something may have gotten screwed up. I don't know. I told my Dad I wanted to wait for my Mom to get back to go." Lo said, biting her bottom lip in anticipation my reaction.

"Do they still think you have an iron deficiency?" I asked.

"They haven't said; they said maybe I am anemic, but I don't know."

"Do you still feel tired a lot?" I asked. For a girl that was only tired, the adults sure were making a lot of fuss over it. It seemed like she was minimizing whatever was wrong with her.

"I do, and yesterday I hit my shin getting out of your Mom's car and I have a huge bruise. I don't know what's going on. I just want to figure it out, get better, and move on."

"How was the dance?" I teased her. I was actually more jealous then I had thought I would be. She looked so hot that night. And Jasper was all nice, shaking Kevin's hand and shit. I think he even smirked at me once Lo walked out the door with someone other than me.

Of course Alice sent her a one of a kind purple dress to wear. Strapless, tight, and short. Everything a boy could dream of in a dress, and that little fucker Kevin Shay got to reap the benefits. I guess being a good student, and an all around kiss ass, got you handshakes from fathers. I suppose knocking up a girl, and having sex on bets got me a well deserved 'stay the fuck away from my little girl.'

"It was fine, everything I said it would be and more," she laughed.

"Holy crap! He kissed you, didn't he?" I asked.

"He tried, only got a peck, though...I keep ignoring his phone calls," she told me and I felt a flood of relief, and guilt.

"You don't have to do that," I told her. I didn't want to hold her back. If she was allowed to go out with him and just not me, I didn't want to stand in her way.

"I am kinda waiting for someone really special. I told him I would."

"I hope it works out," I said.

"Me too," she said, as the bell rang to signal the end of lunch.

I waited for Lola to get up before we began to walk out of the cafeteria together. I playfully poked her sides before I realized we were at her locker and without thinking I opened it for her. I leaned against the locker next to hers as I waited for her to get the book she needed, watching the variety of students pass by. Punks, thugs, hicks, goths, and the group I use to love the most: The Plastics.

BE: Before Evie. I had fucked three of the five Plastics. I was working on all five before I let Evie get under my skin, and label us. Two of them sucked my dick one night at a party, at the same time, in the bathroom. That had been a night to remember.

I caught Gianna's eye, and she winked and waved at me. I shook my head at her trying my best to ignore her flirtatious behavior. She was not the least bit shy, and I knew if I wanted to I could take her in the boys' bathroom, hike up her short skirt, push her barely there thong to the side and fuck her senseless from behind. I won't deny that the thought got me hard. Lola looked over and caught the exchange between Gianna and I. "What?" I asked, pushing away from the locker.

"I heard you...um...and Gia have done some things," she said, walking with me.

"In the past, but she is a shitty kisser. You are much better," I whispered, leaning down close to her ear with a smirk.

Today was the day Naomi was coming home. I didn't expect to see or hear from her. So when I got home from school and found her sitting in my living room, I was surprised.

She looked so natural. No makeup. Nike sneakers, jeans, and a simple black tee. "Hey," she said as I went over to hug her.

"Hey," I whispered in her ear, holding her tight. "How are you?" I asked, sitting down with her.

"Better. I still have a lot of therapy and stuff, but I feel better."

"Why didn't you call, or write?"

"I did," she said, handing me box of letters, all addressed to me. I sat down, and looked at her before opening the most recent.

_I fill my days with memories of him. I remember how he used to look at me, as if I was his most valuable treasure. Has he found a new treasure? I can't help but wonder if we will be able to find our way back to each other. The road seems so very long, and my head is crowded with such dark thoughts. I feel our bond grows weaker by the day and I'm powerless to stop it._

I read the words over and over again.

"I wrote something to you...every day. I guess I was too afraid to mail them. Afraid things were beyond repair with us. That you thought I was awful," she said, moving her hair from the left to the right and then back to the left again.

"I never thought you were awful," I told her truthfully.

"Gabe...I was awful," she said bluntly.

_Has he found a new treasure? _I kept re-reading that line over and over again. I thought back to Lola, and the way that we had spent this past month. I thought we would have avoided each other after Jasper had found us, but we didn't. We got closer, and not physically.

We laughed. We hung out. We had some near kisses, but I always managed to stop myself. I felt like Naomi deserved to know that I had developed strong feelings for Lola.

"You know how much you mean to me, right Nay?" I began, and she nodded tentatively at me. "I'm so moved by all of these letters. You have such a way with words, and it's just...fuck," I stopped. I didn't know what the fuck to say. "How do you know I'm not just this security blanket for you? Something you'll keep coming back to when the world gets scary?" I asked.

"Gabe, you're my best friend."

"I know, you're my best friend too, and I treasure your friendship. And it's great to have somebody that you know so well that you don't even have to verbalize what you're thinking most of the time. The other person just gets it, picks up on it. And -- and it -- it's like that with you and me. It's great, and I -- and I like it, but it's -- it's not love."

"You found someone else...I knew it. I knew I would lose you...who-who is she?" she struggled to ask. I knew she didn't really want to know, and knowing would only hurt her more, but I knew as well as she did that she needed and deserved to know.

"Lo," I said with a sigh of relief. It was like the name was stuck on my tongue, my unwillingness to say it fighting against the need for it to be said.

"Gabe, I don't want to lose you! I can't lose you!" Naomi abruptly said. "I need you!"

"You're still my best friend," I told her.

"It's not enough, Gabe."

The dread of the moment set in. I knew she was going to make me choose. I had hoped that it would never come to this. I didn't realize I had been repeating, "Don't do this to me Naomi," over and over again as I thought about losing one of them.

"Don't make you do what, Gabe?" Naomi asked, flabbergasted.

"Choose, don't make me choose!" I begged her.

"Gabe?" I heard Lola's voice coming from the living room. I looked up at her, the anguish of the situation evident on my face.

"It's okay. I mean, I should have realized that you would pick her. At the end of the day she will always hold a piece of your heart, and you will be friends or whatever it is you two are, and my dad was right, I would be the one left without a boyfriend, or even a friend for that matter."

"Lo, please. It's not like that. It's just that for so long, she's been everything to me, Lo. I mean, this girl has been my family. And she's the one person in my life that I have always been able to depend on."

"I know, I mean you're never gonna love me like you love her." Lola said, backing up slowly, her shoulder hitting the wall behind her. I shot up from my seat to stop her; I didn't want her to go.

"Gabe, just let her go," Naomi said, coming after me. I was stuck in the middle. My past was behind me, and my future in front of me.

"Nay, I don't want to let her go," I carefully told her, looking her straight in the eyes. I turned back to Lola, and repeated myself. "I don't want you to go."

Lola took a careful step forward, afraid to come too close.

"I didn't intend for this to happen, Naomi," I told her.

I could see her growing angrier. "Gabe, what you intended does not provide me any comfort. Do you love her? Or do you just want to sleep with her?"

"No, why would you say that?" I asked, appalled. But I knew I shouldn't have been, as that had been our game.

"Cause it's what expected from you!" Naomi yelled.

"We're not together, Naomi, and we haven't been for a few months," I stated.

"Is this a punishment? Are you punishing me?"

"No, I'm not punishing you!" I yelled back at her. "Why would you think that? Cause I didn't want to get back together with you?"

"Why? Why? Cause you keep on saying that you want to go find yourself... Is this what you've been looking for the whole time? Is Lola what you've been looking for?"

"No!" I quickly yelled, watching Lola take another step away from the fight.

"Then explain it to me, Gabe!"

"I can't, okay? I can't explain what happened. Everything between you and me is so complicated."

"If things between us are complicated it's because you made them that way, okay? You think that everything that was wrong when you were with me is gonna magically get better when you're with her?"

"I don't know, Naomi. I don't know, okay? I just know that I need her."

"Need her like you need me? It's a simple question, G. Do you need her like you need me?"

"You can't do this. You can't. Those two things have nothing to do with each other and you know that the way I feel about her is completely separate from the way that I feel about you and our friendship."

"Friendship," Naomi chuckled. "Right now we don't have a friendship. We don't have a friendship!" Naomi screeched, making me step away from her, stunned. "As of this moment we do not have a friendship," she said again.

"What? That is not fair," I told her.

"You can't have both of us! You can't have her as your girlfriend and me as your consolation prize. You're gonna have to make a choice. And I'll tell you right now, if you choose her I'm not gonna be there to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart. This ruins everything! There's no going back." Naomi stated, as if she was terminating a cell phone contract rather than a life-long friendship.

"Okay. What do you want me to say? Tell me what you want me to say, what do you wanna hear?" I asked her. I wasn't ready to lose her.

"Gabe," Lola grabbed my arm, pulling my attention away from the fight I was stuck in with Naomi.

"It's okay. Friendship is so hard to find. I'm just happy to be able to call you a friend. I'm gonna walk away...and I want you to know...I understand."

I knew she was telling me it was okay to give in to Naomi. She was trying to save me from having to choose. Lola smiled weakly at me as she took a few more steps backwards. Once she had turned her back to me I turned to face Naomi.

"I need for you to leave...I don't like being pushed into a corner. I don't like being given ultimatums and right now I just need some space."

"Gabe, I don't want to fight. I am just willing to fight for you; that is how much I love you."

"Well, I don't-- I don't want to fight, either. And I'm sorry, but if we're gonna have an honest relationship, Naomi, then there's... Something you should know. I let Lola walk away, not entirely, but in large part, because... I don't want to lose you. I have lived around the corner from you my entire life, but it was only when I was going in your direction that I actually felt like I was going home. You're so much of my life, Naomi. I mean... Your house is my house and your family is my family, and there's not a single significant event I've experienced that you haven't experienced with me, and I am so afraid of losing that. But... if that wasn't the choice... and if I thought that there was a chance that you would forgive me... I wouldn't have let her walk away. And you deserve to know that."

I moved to the couch and sunk into the cushions defeated. I stared at my shoes for several minutes before I peeked up at Naomi. She stood with her face toward the ceiling, her arms crossed, and her eyes closed. She swallowed back before her arms dropped to her side and her eye lids fluttered open, letting the tears escape.

"You know," she began making eye contact with me, "contrary to popular belief I have learned a thing or two about forgiveness this past month. I think that it really is love when you can forgive someone for anything, which is why you should go. I have been selfishly holding on to you. You have to go. You have to see for yourself. I can stand here and tell you that it's a colossal mistake and that all roads lead back to me, but that's not going to make any bit of difference. Words and speeches sound great, but they don't add up to anything. All that matters right now is what you want."

"I don't know what I want!" I told her.

"Yes you do. You want her." Naomi's didn't bother to wipe the tears away. "You want her like I want you. You love her like I love you. The only difference is that she loves you back the same way. And you deserve that, okay? And I'm not going to be the one who stands in the way of you getting there. You're free. Do whatever you want."

"But, Naomi I want us to still be friends and I want to know that you don't hate me…" I told her.

"Gabe, they're only words, just words… so just... please go, before I take it all back. GO!"

Just words? I never forgot what my Dad told me one time when I had gotten into trouble for calling Naomi fat when she we were in fifth grade, "Words are a heavy thing... they weigh you down. If birds talked, they wouldn't be able to fly."

But Naomi was right, my Mom was right. I had to follow my heart.

**Thanks for reading! Wicked Angel is going to be the read along fic for MrsTheKings Fic Bridge on April 29th, and hosted by Nikijoy10 – so go follow her on Twitter and read along! **

**Reviews are great. I do have a teaser ready...**


	10. Chapter 10 The World to Me

**SM Owns Edward, Bella, and Jasper. I did the rest. **

**OwnedbyTwins Beta'd – Thanks BB! **

**Side note: I am nuts, and I started a new story that wouldn't leave me alone. If you want to check it out and review, I'd love to hear what everyone thinks – it's on my Profile and it's called Collide. **

**Also, I am working on an outtake for LYMFoM – It's almost done, so look for that soon!**

The World To Me

I took the steps two at time to get to Lola's bedroom door. I wasn't allowed to go in per new house rules, so I just hoped she would agree to come talk to me.

"Lo?" I called, into the half open door. "Come talk to me...please?" I asked when she didn't answer me.

The door slowly opened all the way after a few tense seconds, and I breathed out a sigh of relief that she had answered me.

"Want to talk in the tree house?" I asked. It was the only private place we hadn't been banned from.

"Sure," she agreed. I could tell she had been crying, and that she was trying to stay strong. I let her climb the ladder up into the tree house first, admiring her ass as I moved up behind her.

"Look, Gabe, I told you not to worry about me. Naomi has been through a lot; she needs you more than me right now…"

"Would you shut up!" I interrupted her. I reached out and snaked my arm around her waist, pulling her close. I kissed her passionately, longingly, the way I had ached to kiss her for the past month. I held her in both arms and lifted her off her toes as our lips and tongues sought each others'.

"I know that hands down you are the one I would pick. I've made a lot, a lot of mistakes in my life and nobody knows that more than you do, but the biggest mistake I've ever made was letting you go. What I should have done is realize that being with you made me the luckiest guy on the planet," I rushed to tell her everything I felt.

"I...I don't..." Lola was speechless at first. It was rather amusing.

"What? You don't what?" I asked with a chuckle.

"I hate you," she let out in a soft sigh. "I should probably just start by saying that first, that you, Gabe Cullen, have wrecked me. In the best possible way, you have absolutely wrecked me. Because, you see, I fell in love with you, knowing that there was never any possibility of being with you. Knowing full well that a sizeable chunk of your heart would always be wrapped up in Naomi. And that was actually okay with me. Right up to the point that you chose me. Cause then you just turned everything on its head. And I got everything that I wanted, and from this day forward, I am going to be a wreck."

Speechless Lola hadn't lasted long. She walked the few steps toward my open arms, and I held her close. "Now if we could just get my Dad to come around," Lola sighed into my chest.

"I'm gonna talk to him," I told her. I had to show him how much I cared about her. That I had changed, and she had helped me do it. I had to find some sort of middle ground with him when it came to Lo. I would jump through whatever hoops he wanted to just to have a chance.

"Good luck," Lola said. "I have to go finish packing my clothes, and your Mom is taking me to the store...I go back home tomorrow."

"Hey!" I called out, to stop her. "You said it again, that you fell in love with me, and well, I wanted you to know - I fell in love with you too." Lola just smiled at me before she made her way out of the tree house.

I stood in awe for a few more seconds about everything. I was happy. I couldn't believe I could be lucky enough to find what my mom and dad had found with each other, but here I was with Lo, head over fuckin' heels for her.

I went down the first few steps of the tree house before jumping to the ground. "What were you and Lola doing up there?" my Dad asked.

"Talking," I said, hoping to keep it short and simple.

"Gabe, you made a promise to Jasper about not seeing Lola romantically," he stopped me in my tracks.

"And I stayed away from her as long as I possibly could," I told him. "I'm not going to hide about it, Dad. I want to be with her."

"Jasper and Alice both made it perfectly clear that Lola isn't allowed to have a boyfriend."

"Maybe they will change their minds. I don't know, maybe I just need to talk to Jasper."

"You respect Jasper's decision, understand?"

I nodded at him before heading upstairs. I needed to use the bathroom but it was in use. I didn't feel like going back downstairs, so I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Zoe yelled out.

"Hurry up, Zoe, I gotta get in there," I yelled back.

"Gabe....can you get Mommy for me?" she asked.

"She isn't home, is there a problem?"

She opened the door slowly, and whispered, "I don't know what to do."

"About what? What's wrong?" I asked.

Tears sprung to her eyes, like always, the minute someone asks what's wrong or are you okay the water works turn on.

"I can go get Dad," I suggested, backing away from the door slowly. I wanted no part of whatever her issue was.

"NO!" she yelled out. "I need a girl!"

Oh shit, I could be so dense. She was having a girl problem and was too embarrassed to talk to a man about it. I couldn't blame her, it's not as if I liked talking about periods and shit.

"Well, I think you will have to settle for Dads help, Zoe. Mom took Lo to the store, and I don't really know that much about girl stuff."

"Shoot me now..." Zoe conceded, sinking to sit on the side of the tub.

"Dad!" I called out, heading back downstairs with a small smile. I was trying not to be insensitive and laugh, but it was hard. I found him in his office looking over paperwork.

"What's going on, Gabe?"

"Zoe needs you. She got her period," I told him. The color in his face drained, leaving his complexion pale as a ghost.

"Where is your Mother? Why aren't you telling her?" he questioned me.

"She took Lo to Wal-Mart for something she needed. Zoe is holed up in the bathroom, crying. I don't know what to tell her!" I told him.

I watched the hesitation in his movements as he stood from his desk. He pulled out his cell phone and pushed the speed-dial, I assumed to call Mom. "Bella, how much longer are you going to be?....Zoe got her period, I don't know what to do....Gabe said she is crying in the bathroom....I know I can't just leave her in there until you get home! I was hoping to get some advice on how to handle it....okay. Love you, too," he said, clicking the phone shut. "Well, here goes nothing. Your Mom said she had pad thingys in our master bathroom - can you grab them for me while I talk to Zoe?"

"Sure," I laughed.

"I wouldn't laugh; this could be you in thirteen years!" Dad said as we made our way back upstairs. I didn't really ever think about if I wanted the baby to be a boy or a girl. After losing Baby B, I just hoped for a healthy baby. It hit me for a split second that I did want a boy, as I had entirely way too many women in my life.

I grabbed the plastic maxi pad bag and tossed it at my Dad, who seemed to be mentally preparing himself outside the bathroom door. I had no desire to witness the awkwardness that was sure to ensue, so I quickly went back down stairs.

I was trying to figure out how and when I could approach Jasper about Lo. I couldn't do it as soon as Alice got back; they would have way too much going on. I had stayed away from Lo physically for this long, so while a few more days would be a pain in the ass, it would not be impossible. I just had to be patient.

There was no way in hell I wanted to screw up the slim chance I had to get Jasper to see how much I cared for Lola. How I would do anything to make sure she was safe, happy, and how hard I would try to make sure she was never sad or felt pain.

Days passed and I had yet to find the balls to talk to Jasper. Lola and I snuck touches and kisses in the hallways at school. I knew I couldn't blatantly hold her hand when I walked her to class; it just didn't seem right without her parents giving us the all clear.

We sat with Evie at lunch and talked about the pregnancy. My mom and Evie hadn't waited very long after Lola and Jacey had left before they started transforming the room next to mine into a room for the baby. My dad and I thought it was a bit premature, but according to my mother, there is no such thing as too soon. Dad also didn't think the baby needed a brand new crib, changing table, and dresser. He thought I should have to save enough money to pay for it, but not my mom. She insisted it was her gift to us.

I couldn't really even save that much money. If I saved every paycheck I earned until the baby was born, I would have a decent amount saved, almost eight thousand dollars. It didn't seem to matter though, because I was at school thirty hours a week and at work thirty hours a week; I didn't know how the hell I would handle school, work, and a baby. I needed to make more money, and work less hours.

That is why I was thrilled when my Dad asked me if I wanted to come and work for him. He told me he saw how I had matured, and that he felt I needed a break. He told me he would double my pay. I had to help him in the studio, and learn how to mix sound for when bands and artists recorded. I happily agreed. I had every intention of continuing to work thirty hours until the baby came. This way I would have double the money saved for when he or she arrived, and be able to work less then. I was very thankful for my parents and their support. It may have been hard at first, but they made me better.

Lo and I walked down a crowded hallway and she playfully pushed me away from her side. I glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention before I pulled her into a secluded corner behind the propped open doors to the music room.

My lips ached to touch hers and I pulled her close to taste her. "We gotta figure out how to tell your Dad, Lo," I said, removing my lips from hers.

"I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea. He won't allow it. Please, I can't stand to have anymore drama in my life," Lola said with no little regret.

"What, you don't want to be my girlfriend? I don't understand. I want to be with you; I don't think it's going to help our case if we get caught sneaking around again, Lo. I'm not going to sneak around," I told her.

"We can't tell my Dad. Okay? We just can't," Lo stated adamantly.

"I won't sneak around," I repeated in a sterner tone.

"Is that how it is? I have to tell my Dad or lose you? Because it's the same thing!" Lola yelled pulling away from me and stepping out of our hidden spot. "He isn't going to agree, Gabe! And guess what - I won't be allowed near you!"

"We need to give him the benefit of the doubt, Lola. I won't disrespect him, okay? I don't want to lie to him. If we have to wait then we have to wait." I tried to sound comforting, soothing. I didn't want to fight.

"Maybe you have time to wait, but I don't!" Lola continued to yell and back away.

"Stop it! I will wait for you! Stop, Lo! Where are you going?" I called after her. Her steps got bigger as she backed away from me.

"Class," she informed me curtly, spinning on her heels and practically running away.

"Fuck!" I yelled, punching the wall.

I wasn't bending. I wasn't going to do the easy thing, I didn't want to be that guy anymore. I had to grow up. Lola had to realize I couldn't be like that anymore. I had to talk to Jasper. I couldn't keep Lola in limbo. I would wait for her. I had already chosen her.

I knew she was worried I would move on; I mean, I couldn't blame her for that. I haven't been very consistent with girls. I knew that only time would show her otherwise.

"Trouble in paradise?" Naomi asked, walking out of the music room. She must have seen and heard everything. I couldn't tell if she was being spiteful or sincere. It didn't make a difference. It was the most she had said to me since I picked Lola.

I couldn't stay. I couldn't even find the words to address Naomi. I made my way out to my car and dialed Jasper.

"Hello," he answered.

"Jasper, hey. I was wondering if you had a minute to talk?" I asked, starting my car.

"Shouldn't you be in class, Gabe?" he answered my question with his own.

"Look, I have a free period and I need to talk to you," I told him.

"I'm at the church with your Dad," he told me. My dad used the studio in the church for his record company.

"See you in like ten minutes then," I said, tossing the cell phone onto the passenger seat.

I drove quickly to church, repeating speeches in my head, arguments for my case, and none of it sounded right.

Jasper met me in the church lobby outside the sanctuary. "What's going on, Gabe?" he asked, approaching me.

"I was hoping to talk to you about Lola," I said nervously.

"I had a feeling you would say that." Well he wasn't yelling, that was a good sign, right?

"I know I haven't always been the best when it comes to girls. I do. I love her, though. Look, I... I understand why you would rather see Lola with someone like Kevin. Someone who's obviously going to make it. And probably long before, I mean, I figure out what I'm going to be doing with my life. But, for some reason, Lo cares about me. And on a good day, I feel like I might become everything she sees in me. It is because of that, it is because of about a million other reasons that she means pretty much the world to me."

"Gabe...I don't doubt your feelings, it's not that I don't love you like my own son, because I do. I respect you coming to me, I can see you becoming a man, and I am so proud of you. But Lola...I don't know that she is ready for all this. She is fourteen. I know she doesn't act it, because she is an old soul. But she is still only fourteen. As her father, I can't let her start a relationship with a single father."

I swallowed back thickly at his words. I wasn't ready to give up.

"I know, Jasper. I don't want to hurt her. I care about her too much to hurt her, and I respect you too much to sneak around, but it will hurt her if I give up. And if I give in to her, and sneak around, I lose your respect. I would wait for her, if I thought it would be for the best. I just want to do right by both of you. Please, whatever rules you feel are necessary, please." I never said I wouldn't beg.

I heard footsteps behind me, and turned to see Naomi coming out of the sanctuary. I was confused as to what she was doing, wondering if she was following me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I was just waiting for my session with the counselor, and Mr. Hale, I think you should ease up on Gabe with Lola. I've seen how much he loves her. I've seen it on his face. I've seen them kiss. I've seen them hold hands. And today, I saw them fighting – which is something I've basically been seeing every day of my life since first grade and I think it was actually worse than the kissing. You couldn't ask for a better boy to fall in love with your daughter than Gabe. Even with all his baggage and screw ups. He is a better person because of all of it....That's all, I am sorry to butt in," Naomi said, making her way to the now open door to the counselors office.

"You fought with my daughter today?" Jasper said pointedly.

"She was mad that I wanted to talk to you about this. I don't want to be with her if I can't do it right. I want to do this right."

"If you hurt her, I will kick your ass." Jasper said.

"Are you serious?" I asked, stunned.

"Yeah, I think I am," Jasper smiled at me. I reached my hand out to shake his and he pulled me into a hug.

"I won't hurt her," I said as he patted my back.

"Get back to school before you get in trouble for truancy or some shit, or I take it all back."

"I'm gone!" I smiled, pushing open the glass door to go outside.

The sun seemed brighter. The day was finally looking up. Who would have thought I would have Naomi to help sway Jasper's decision? I didn't. Not in a million years.

**Okay, they are together. Seems like everything is on track...right? Did Jasper surprise you? Did you like more Edward? Tell me your thoughts. They keep me entertained between study breaks! **


	11. Chapter 11 ALL

**SM Owns E & B and crew but I own the rest!**

**Thanks to OwnedByTwins for the beta'ing! Means a lot to me! **

**ALL**

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Lola yelled at me. I thought she would be happy I got Jasper to let us date.

"I thought I was helping! I thought you wanted to be with me!" I yelled back. "I mean you do want to be with me, right?" I clarified.

"Yes, more than anything," Lola exclaimed, throwing up her arms.

"I don't get it. Girls are so confusing. You want to be with me, but you are mad that I took the necessary steps to make that possible...I don't fuckin' understand!" I mimicked her by throwing up my arms.

"Gabe, I just...I didn't want to get too serious," she tried to explain, lowering her voice.

"Lola, I gave up my best friend to be with you, what did you expect would happen between us?" I asked her.

"I told you not to pick me! I told you it was okay!" Lola argued back.

I walked up to her slowly, placing my hand on her cheek. She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes, as I gently wiped a tear off with the pad of my thumb. "Something else is going on with you, please tell me." I practically begged her. This was not the same girl that had told me to mean it several weeks ago.

"Gabe...I'm sick...like, really sick," Lola said softly, before pulling out of my grasp. Confusion washed over my face.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'm not anemic or whatever, Gabe. God! I wish I were. I wish it were that trivial," she said, wiping more tears away with the back of her hand.

"It can't be…" I began to say that bad, before she interrupted me.

"No, Gabe. It can be. I wanted to wait for my mom to come home to do the last test. I had to have a bone marrow aspiration, and it came back showing that I have Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Acute - it doesn't mean small and cute! It means it spreads fast! That's why I keep bruising. Why I am so tired. I don't have enough Red blood cells, and my blood isn't clotting right. They tell me I have a ton of immature white blood cells...they are crowding out the blood cells I need to like carry oxygen, to clot when I get a paper cut, or hell, even to be able to fight infections!" Lola cried.

Did Lola just tell me she had cancer? Holy shit. I started to hug her, and she pushed me away.

"Don't do that," I urged her. "Don't push me away. Please, not now." I went to go hug her again, and she collapsed in my arms, sobbing. "It will be okay, you can get better, I am not going anywhere," I tried to calm myself as I attempted to calm her.

"No, Gabe, it won't be okay. I'm going to lose my hair, and feel like crap, and I still might die!"

"Don't talk like that!" I said, holding her shoulders as I stared into her eyes, which were swimming in tears.

"You shouldn't bother with me, Gabe! You have a baby on the way; you shouldn't be bogged down by this. You shouldn't fall in love with me, Gabe. It's just going to bring a bunch of pain. You're not going to want a bald girlfriend," Lo said, looking away from my gaze.

"Are you serious? Lola, I am already falling in love with you! I can't just turn that off! You think I care if you lose your hair? God! I don't care if you had to lose your legs if it meant you got to live!" I tried not to yell at her, but I needed her to know how serious I was.

"Gabe, please! I can't do this now! If I don't stop this now...that just means I stand to lose more. I can't stand the thought of losing more! I can't, please, I can't do it."

"Are you...breaking up with me?" I asked.

"I have to...you should be happy, Gabe. You should be happy. You should focus on Evie and your baby, and not on me. I should focus on my treatments...I'd better go," Lola said, placing a peck on my cheek.

Is she kidding me? I stood shocked at what she was saying. I was so shocked I could only stand and watch her as she walked away. By the time I got my bearings she was out the door. I ran to it, struggling to open it, in a frenzy to stop her.

"LO!" I yelled as I opened my front door. My mom was outside, having just come back from her daily jog.

"Bella, can you give me a ride home?" Lola asked, ignoring me.

"Sure, is everything okay?" my mom asked, concerned.

"I can take you home, Lo," I interjected.

"Bella, I have to go home, please," Lola said, not even looking at me.

"Let me get my keys, sweetie," Mom told her, "the door to the car is open, you can wait in there if you want, just give me a sec."

"Thanks," Lola said, making her way to my mom's car. She didn't look at me. She didn't tell me to shut up. God, even if she told me to shut up or to shove the ride up my ass would have been better then her ignoring me.

"Gabe, come in with me," my mom motioned with her index finger to follow her. As she opened the door she began to speak again, "What's going on with you and Lola?"

"Did you know? Did you know she has cancer?" I asked.

"We can talk about it when I get back," she told me, kissing my cheek. Was a kiss on the cheek supposed to comfort me? Because it didn't.

Did Lola honestly think my life would be easier without her? Did she really fucking think that letting go of her would be easier than having to deal with chemo? What hurt me the most was that she was pushing me away.

I jogged up to my bedroom and flipped open my laptop. I wanted to find out everything I could about this cancer. What the hell did she call it? Acute Lympho-shit. I don't know. The search bar was smart and it saw what I was looking for; there it was in the drop down box Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.

And I looked for prognosis, and of course all it says is that it can only be determined on a case by case basis. Damn! I just wanted information. I felt so many emotions, but right now I was mostly pissed. Angry. Why the fuck would this happen to Lola?

Screw this. I wasn't going to let her push me away. I grabbed my car keys and made a mad dash for my car. My wheels screeched as I tore out of the driveway, leaving a trail of smoke in my wake.

I made it to Lola's house on the Winchester Golf Course; hers was the biggest at the end of one of the cul-de-sacs. I jumped out of the car and ran to her door, ringing the doorbell several times before Jasper finally pulled it open.

"I need to see her, please, Jazz," I begged, trying to catch my breath.

"Gabe, she isn't feeling up to it right now." Jasper said. He stepped outside and pulled the door shut as I tried to see inside.

"Is this why you said okay? Because you knew it wouldn't really matter?" I asked him.

"No. I said yes because I want Lola to be happy. To live normally, and if that means having a boy that cares about her the way you do, I'd say a dad couldn't ask for better. I had no idea Lola would push you away," Jasper informed me. "Maybe you should just let go, Gabe. I don't want to see her upset."

"As textbook healthy as the letting go theory sounds... It doesn't apply to me. This isn't a case of teen romance gone sour; I know what I want... and I want her. She's really hurting right now. And whether she knows it or not, she needs me - so I have absolutely no intention of letting her go. So please, let me see her," I begged.

Jasper stood tense, deep in thought for several long seconds before he conceded.

"Fine, let's go in," Jasper told me. He opened the door and led me to where Lola was shooting hoops out back. She threw the ball up, caught it on the first bounce back, and shot again. She did it methodically. I wasn't sure if she was ignoring me or was just that lost in her thoughts.

"Hey," I finally said. She didn't turn her head to look at me; she just continued to throw, catch and throw again.

"What are you doing here?" she finally asked, tucking the ball under her arm.

"You know, for a bright girl, you can be really daft sometimes. Why do you think I came here? I came here to be with you! It's as simple as that. I mean, when you like somebody, proximity is a good thing, regardless of how they feel about you. Or don't, as the case may be."

"I just think it would be easier for both of us if we ended this; why won't you accept that as my choice? I just regret the whole thing," Lola sighed.

"You regret us? Because I don't. I couldn't. And I don't accept your choice. Because the fact is that I don't regret falling in love with you. Sure, it's been tough. Dealing with Naomi, then your dad, and now you're sick. But then I think about everything that that kiss has brought into my life. What it was like to look at you and know not just what you were thinking, but also what you were feeling because I was feeling the same thing, and that tells me that it's worth it. You are worth it. It's… worth all the pain that I'm going through. Kissing you, it was the smartest decision I ever made. I'm not going to let you push me away. My heart is already far too wrapped up in yours to even have walking away be an option."

"Gabe, God, you know you should have really looked before you fell." Lola smiled at me. "I can't push you away. That was my best effort and already you cracked me. I have no resolve when it comes to you, especially when it comes to staying away from you. Why couldn't you just be the asshole who takes the easy way out?"

"Thank fucking god," I said, pulling her into my arms. "I'm not an asshole. There is no easy way out."

"I have to go into the hospital tomorrow. I am getting a portacath inserted right here," Lola said pointing to a spot below her collar bone. "For chemo, I guess it will be easier then sticking me with IV's for the next two years… at least," Lola said. I could see she felt numb.

"Fine, I'll be there with you, waiting for you," I told her.

"Gabe, you can't miss school, it's too important." Lola tried to argue.

"Not nearly as important as you," I told her.

"Gabe, my mom and dad will be there, really. Just come after school. Before then I will just be in surgery, don't screw up anything. You have a baby to think about."

"Fine," I conceded. Because she was right. I couldn't screw up.

"I don't want to talk about it much, I want to just keep living around it, and I think my boyfriend owes me a date," Lola smiled.

I smiled back at her before kissing her lips, and running my hands through her hair. "What do you want to do? Dinner? Movie? Bowling?" I suggested a few things for our date.

"Actually, I am really drained, I was hoping for something more low key. Like you, me, a bowl of popcorn, and some Harry Potter on my couch," Lola said, batting her eyelashes.

"As long as I am with you, it works for me," I said, following Lo into her living room. I told Lola to sit down and pushed in the Harry Potter DVD.

"Can you grab that blanket? I'm freezing," Lola stated. I grabbed the fleece blanket and draped it across her, placing a kiss on her head.

"I'll get the popcorn," I told her. I walked to her kitchen and saw Alice. She smiled warmly at me and handed me a bowl of popcorn. Sometimes, my mom says she swears Alice is psychic. I wonder if that is why she was so hell bent on getting Lola to the doctor with a simple symptom of being tired.

"Thank you, Gabe. For being there for Lola. It's really important that she has everyone she cares about support her. You are a good boy," she told me with a hug.

"Can't imagine being anywhere else," I said sincerely to Alice.

I walked back to Lola and took a seat on the couch next to her. She took the popcorn in her lap and snuggled into my chest. It wasn't long until she was fast asleep. I didn't care for Harry Potter, but I stayed and let her sleep in my arms until the movie ended.

Three months ago, my life had been completely different. I was hopelessly in love with my best friend. I got drunk on a weekly basis. Lived and breathed basketball, sex, and music. And now. Fuck. I had a baby on the way, and was in love with a girl who had cancer.

The next day I drove to the hospital right after school. Which had been a complete waste of time. I didn't learn anything new. It didn't challenge me. I could get A's in my sleep.

I had stopped at the store and picked up some flowers for Lola. I mean, that's what you do when people you care about are in the hospital, right, bring flowers? It wasn't big, just a few daisies. They looked cheerful. That was the point to cheer people up, right?

I was clueless. But I was trying. I stepped off the elevator on the fourth floor, and stopped at the nurse's desk to double check her room number.

"Lola Hale is in room four-fifty-four, correct?" I asked, leaning on the counter.

"Yes, but you can't bring those flowers in her room. I'm sorry," the nurse informed me.

"Why not?" I asked, completely confused. People brought flowers all the time. I wanted to bring my girlfriend flowers to cheer her the fuck up.

"Ms. Hale is at a high risk for infection. She is on reverse contact precautions to prevent infections. No fresh flowers or fruits are allowed in her room. They may carry germs that could cause her a very bad infection," she informed me, coming out of the nurse's station. "Follow me, please."

I walked behind her, trying to keep up when she stopped outside of Lola's room. There was a huge cart sitting outside the room with a sign that read "Neutropenic Precautions." The nurse began opening up drawers and taking out supplies.

"Whenever Lola is in here, and her white count is low, we have to keep her protected from us. She doesn't have what she needs to fight simple infections and they could be detrimental to her. It's also especially important right now, because she just had surgery and has an open wound that could also get easily infected. You need to wear this gown," she said, opening the package and showing me how to put it on. "You need to wash your hands," she said pointing to the antibacterial hand sanitizer on the wall. I pumped some out on my hands before she handed me gloves. "And a mask. Lots of germs spray when you talk or breathe," she finished as I secured the mask. "Just leave the flowers out here, I am sure her parents can take them home when one of them leaves," the nurse finished.

I took in my appearance. I looked like a freak. And on top of that I was going in empty handed. I wouldn't be able to kiss her, or feel her skin on mine. Nothing. I hoped I could comfort her by just being in the room because that is about all I could do. I walked into the room and hoped she could see the smile I returned even though it was hidden by the mask. Hopefully my eyes smiled at her.

"Hey," I said, sitting in the chair next to her bed. I leaned over the rail and kissed her forehead through the mask. It's the thought that counts, right?

She picked up my gloved hand and held it in hers, not seeming to care about the latex barrier that blocked me from feeling her skin against mine.

She laughed weakly at the cockblocking outfit I had to wear. I shook my head, happy she was in such good spirits.

"My Mom and Dad went to the cafeteria; they were hungry, are you hungry? I am sure they will bring you something up," Lola said, grabbing her cell phone from the bedside table.

"No, I am not hungry," I said. "I brought you flowers. I didn't know you couldn't have them," I told her.

"That was really thoughtful, thanks so much," Lola smiled. "Take that stupid mask off and kiss me right," Lola smiled.

I shook my head no. "No way, your health is way too important to risk. We have plenty of time to kiss," I told her, bringing her hand to my mouth and kissing the back of it.

"How is Evie? Does she feel okay?" Lola asked, changing the subject.

"She is fine. You don't have to worry about how she feels, silly girl." It was only one more thing I loved about Lola. She never forgot anyone else's feelings, even when she was recovering from surgery and about to start a wicked dose of chemo that would make her sick and lose her hair.

"It's not silly. She is having your baby. I want everything to go perfectly for the three of you," she retorted.

"The baby is good. Evie is good. She has a tiny bump… is this really what you want to talk about?" I asked, a little stunned.

"Yes!" she demanded.

"Fine!" I said, putting my hands up in surrender. "Ah, that's all though. It's really uneventful," I told her. "When will you go home?" I asked.

"A few days. They are going to start the chemo tomorrow. And then monitor me, then the next chemo treatments I can do outpatient, and throw up a lot," she said, trying to act like it wasn't bothering her.

"Then I will be here to hold your hair back," I said, tucking a piece of black hair behind her ear.

"Sure, whatever hair I have left," she said. Her tone was acidic.

Fuck. The last thing I wanted to do was remind her of that. I needed to think things through before I opened my mouth. "I'm sorry," I said.

"I know; me too," she said, turning her attention to the TV.

I sat back in the chair, feeling shitty about saying the wrong thing, and watched with her as the awkward silence swallowed us whole.

**A lot of you saw this coming...So it's here and how pissed are you at me? All my stories are going into HF at the same time it seems! **


	12. Chapter 12 Owned By Edward

**SM owns not me. **

**Thanks to OwnedByTwins for the beta – even though PT is kicking your ass! **

**Heres a little special something something for those missing E and B. I needed to show a broader picture, tell you things Gabe wouldn't really know, so here is a very specail chapter brought to you by:**

Bella POV

I found myself feeling sad and sorry for my son. I didn't want him to deal with this type of hurt and pain at such a young age. Then I began to feel guilty. Jasper and Alice had a very sick daughter, one that could very well...die. I had to swallow that horrible word back.

Alice was always smiling to hide her sadness, her fear. She said she had to be strong and positive - that someone in the family had to be. Jasper held it together for Lola and Alice, but he couldn't keep his composure when he was with me. Alice knew he was weaker, that he wasn't as strong as he pretended to be when he was with her. He needed to believe that he was fooling them, though, so she didn't let on that she knew.

I walked into my husband's office, still shocked by how beautiful he was. Age was had been kind to him. People would often mistakenly think he was in his early thirties to this day. To me, he had never aged past twenty-four.

To think that a few weeks ago we were fighting over a new life our son had made. Sure, it wasn't the perfect situation, but it wasn't a death sentence either.

Edward looked up at me as he rolled back in his chair, extending his arm to me, letting me know I could come and rest on his lap. I sunk into him. My head rested on his shoulder as my fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Are you okay?" he asked, placing a kiss on my head.

"No," I said simply. I didn't need to explain it to Edward. He just knew.

I sat in his loving arms as guilt and sadness moved through my body in waves. I was silent until I thought of something to say; it was something Edward might want to know about.

"Alice told Lola it would be okay. They would get the best of the best to care for her. You know what Lo told her?" I asked, looking into his green eyes.

"Huh?" he responded.

"Money didn't save her Pop-Pop Hale. Money wouldn't save her. She said she wasn't crying, or angry when she said it. Alice said her tone was cool, calm, matter of fact."

"Poor Gabe," Edward spoke the words I felt too guilty to say out loud.

"He loves her. He loves her like you love me. It won't be easy for him. I think he is handling it great. I just hope he doesn't get too angry over it. I know what anger can do to a person. I don't want that to happen to him. Not when he has a baby on the way. Something so great... I don't want him to miss out on that joy," I let it spill out.

"He won't leave her. If he loves her like I love you, he won't leave. And he will get angry. I would be angry. As if he didn't question God enough, now he has this life lesson to learn - that God lets bad things happen to good people. I think it would be good to let him know that God also lets good things happen to bad people. That it's part of life."

"Edward, if she dies..." I began.

"Stop, don't think like that," he stopped me.

"It...It would just kill Gabe. It would kill Jasper and Alice." Bella thought back to the day Jasper came over to tell her about Lola. It was a day she would never forget. So much that Jasper had been holding in had come pouring out.

_He just broke down, crying __in__ as she held him. She smoothed his hair, which he was still wearing long then. Bella let his body rest against hers as they sat on the couch, sobs rocking through him._

"_B," he began. "My life is a fucking mess. Alice didn't leave to go to LA just to do that show, she went because we were separating," Jasper cried. I was shocked._

"_What? Why wouldn't you tell me?" I demanded, as I kept soothing his dirty blonde hair. That is when it happened. Something that hadn't happened in over seventeen years. He kissed me. He grabbed my face and kissed me, and it was...nice. Familiar. His tongue tasted the same. It felt the same. And I let it go on much longer then I should have._

"_Stop," I said, pushing him back. "I love Edward. Why would you do that?" I asked._

"_She got sick of never measuring up," Jasper began. He paused for a second before hesitantly finishing his sentence, "to you," he finally said. "That's why she was leaving me, well, until Lola got sick. Now, she doesn't want to cause her more stress."_

"_What?" I asked. Jasper had gotten over me years ago, in high school. "Jasper she must be...I don't know… but those issues were resolved years ago," I told him._

"_Maybe for you, and for your sake I let you think they were for me, but Alice saw through it all along. She hoped in time and with enough love, I would move on...but I haven't. I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't be telling you this at all," Jasper said. "But my daughter has cancer and your son loves her. And my wife is done trying to be enough for me. My life is a fucking mess," he repeated._

"_I don't know what you want me to say, Jasper! I don't know how to respond to this again! I am older and a little wiser, but I feel like I am in high school all over again!" I told him. _

"_I know! I am sorry! I shouldn't have come here," he said._

"_No! You can always come here!" I told him. Was I being selfish by holding onto him? Was I selfish all those times I called him and took him away from Alice because I was having a breakdown when __Edward was gone? Was it wrong of me to depend on him so much all these years? Selfish of me? But I wouldn't let him go._

"Angel, what are you thinking about?" Edward asked, pulling me from the memory.

"I kept something from you," I began to tell him. "When Jasper found out about Lola, he came over. He told me some things he had been keeping from me...Alice and him were about to get divorced when they found out Lo was sick," I began. Edward's eyes got wide.

"Wow, I had no idea," he said.

"Well, the reason is," I swallowed back, hoping Edward would understand. "Me," I finished saying meekly.

Edward's eyebrows arched as he pushed me off his lap. "YOU?" he demanded standing up.

I went to him and started to place my hands on his chest in an attempt to calm him down. "Edward!" I said, trying to bring him back down to my level. "Jasper just said he never got over me, and he kissed me! And I told him I loved you and nothing had changed for me! Please, I love you!" I told him.

"He kissed you? When?" Edward demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Last week," I told him.

"LAST WEEK?" Edward boomed. "And you're just saying something now? Why is that?" he asked.

"I don't know! Because I wanted to protect him! He has had enough pain and suffering and I didn't want to put a strain on things for him. Please, Edward, he is so lost right now!"

"Right, he wasn't lost three months ago when his wife figured out he would forever hold a torch for you! What? I mean, is he just going to spend his life waiting in the wings for you?" Edward asked.

"Edward, I don't know! I am happily married and my best friend is hurting, but you come first, and I just wasn't sure what to do!" I told him.

"I just...need some time Bella."

"I understand, I didn't mean to keep it from you, please." I begged. I hated it when he was mad at me. I hated when I had given him an actual reasons to be mad at me.

I walked to him slowly and gave him my signature pout face. "I love you, only you; it will always be you," I told him, sliding my hands down his chest. I reached the button on his jeans and began to undo it.

"Yeah, well, your best friend that you used to have sex with tells you he still loves you and kisses you… I get a bit upset about that," Edward said, allowing me to undo his pants.

"There is only one man I want. Ever," I told him, dropping to my knees. I released him from his boxer briefs and eagerly began to suck on his dick.

His hand was in my hair as my head bobbed back and forth on his sweet cock. I swirled my tongue around the head, before Edward yanked pulled me roughly to my feet.

"You are mine," he said, yanking down my yoga pants. He pushed me over the front of his desk and spread my legs, as he entered me just as quickly as I had put him in my mouth.

He fucked me hard and fast, as he repeatedly told me I was his. His hand pulled my hair back as he demanded, "Say it."

"I'm yours," I said, as he pulled my hair harder, causing me to grunt. He finally let my hair fall as he held my hips, slamming in and out of me. I reached down to flick my clit as he slid in and out of my slick center.

"I love you," I told him as I rested my head on his desk, savoring the rough way he was handling me.

"Who makes you come?" Edward demanded.

"Only you," I told him as I felt him slip out of me. He turned me around and lifted me onto the desk. The wood was cold against my bare ass as Edward pushed his papers to the ground before laying me down on his newly clear desk.

He lifted my legs to his shoulders and brought my ass to the edge of the desk. He slipped inside me more gently this time as he palmed my covered breasts. He slowly moved his hand down my stomach until he could take over stimulating my clit.

Neither of us lasted much longer. He exploded inside me with a loud grunt as I bit down on my sleeve in an attempt to muffle the scream.

"I forgive him for coveting my wife," Edward said, helping me up.

"Cause that's what we do, forgive. It's the right thing," I smiled.

"I love you," Edward told me, with a kiss.

"I know," I told him, with a satisfied smirk. I got dressed and made my way out of the office and into the kitchen where Gabe sat picking apart a sandwich.

"You gonna eat that or just tear it apart?" I asked.

"Lost my appetite after hearing the show you and Dad put on. I mean come one can't you act like normal parents that don't have sex?" Gabe asked. Three months ago, I'd have been embarrassed by this, but now, given the fact that Gabe knew enough about sex to knock a girl up, I just laughed it off.

"Want to talk about Lo?" I asked.

Gabe looked up at me, his green eyes sad, longing for answers and solutions I could never provide. As his mother, though, I would try my best. "What's going on in that head of yours?" I asked.

"I love her, I've known it since the moment I kissed her, and maybe even before that, and as scary as it is, I don't want to deny it, I don't want to run from it, and I don't want to let it run from me," Gabe said. "But I am scared. If I lose her...I don't know..." Gabe trailed off mid sentence.

"I know, baby. I know," I said, trying to soothe him. I rubbed his back as I talked to him. "Falling in love, sharing your life with someone, giving your heart to another person to the extent that losing them could potentially destroy you - it's such a crazy thing to do. But we do it anyway. Because it's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all, as cliché as that is, it's the truth." I told him. "Are you mad, though?" I asked. I didn't want to put that thought in his head, but I didn't want him to keep it to himself if he was.

"Beyond mad. Mad doesn't seem to sum up the anger I feel. I don't get it," he said.

"And we never will understand. We just have to live each day. I don't know what the future holds. I know a beautiful baby is coming, and Lola is going to have a hell of a fight, but all we can do is live in the present. I can't promise you that everything will be okay, because I don't know that. I don't really know what to say. Just promise me you won't let anger take your joy? Because it will rob you and Lola of anything happy, and that's what you both need to be embracing." I said, hugging him close. I wanted to cry for him. "And Dad had some good advice; God doesn't just let bad things happen to good people, he lets good things happen bad people too, ya know."

This was my son going through so much. It was too much for one person to bear. Renee's words rang true in my ears, "The Lord doesn't give us more then we can handle." They were words I had once rolled my eyes at. Gabe must be strong enough. Or he has one hell of a lesson to learn.

I just wanted him to learn one life lesson at a time. Wasn't becoming a father a big enough one? Now he has to deal with an illness that could be terminal. The doctors were not happy with Lola's CBC. She was very close to a blast stage, which would be hard for her to fight.

Even though Alice and Jasper were on the verge of divorce, they discussed creating a perfect match baby for Lola, since Jacey wasn't a match for her. Jasper said they could take her egg, his sperm, join them and then look at the ones that matched Lola's DNA the best and implant that one into Alice. It just seemed so....wrong. But they were looking into every option. And a perfect match stem cell donor was a great option. The doctors just weren't sure Lola would make it long enough with how unstable she was. And then Alice and Jasper would have a baby for all the wrong reasons.

To even think about how that baby would feel if he or she ever found out the reason they were brought into this world. As someone to 'use.' As much as I wanted Lola to have every chance to get better, I believed there was a line.

"You going to see her?" I asked him.

"Can't," Gabe said sadly. "She is too sick. Only Jasper and Alice are allowed in during her first round of chemo. But I have a phone date with her later tonight, that is, if she is well enough," Gabe explained.

I should have known. I should be more aware of what was going on with my best friend's daughter and my son's girlfriend. Honestly, I was so busy with Zoe and Jacey. Keeping them occupied. It was almost as if Jacey had moved back in.

"Do me a favor?" I asked.

"Huh?" Gabe said, looking up at me.

"I promised I would take Zoe and Jacey to the bowling alley - can you do it for me?" I asked. I didn't want him sulking around the house. I could tell by his face it was the last thing he wanted to do. "Please, Jacey could use something fun, and I can't do it."

"Whatever," Gabe relented. "I guess I could ask Evie to go or something," he suggested.

"That would be a good idea, except that's why I need you to go. Evie and I are going to do some work on the nursery for the baby," I told him, kissing his head. "Plus, I picked up some clothes for her - she told me her clothes were starting to get tight," I informed him.

I knew he talked to her everyday at school, and maintained a good relationship with her, but I also knew he didn't realize the extent to which Evie and I talked.

She was a smart girl. I was coming to love her like a daughter. She had a very good head on her shoulders. I loved how strong she was - how she had picked herself up, and didn't fall for Gabe's bullshit when he tried to restart a relationship. She was very independent. I admired that about her so much.

Her heart was broken from the death of her mother. She told me it had never healed, the hole was always there. She was resigned to the fact that it would never fill in, but she didn't want it too. She didn't want to forget how much she had loved her mother. Although the hole would always be there, she said it became easier to live with. Almost like a disability.

I was surprised when she told me about the crack Gabe had left. It wasn't quite as big, and didn't leave her feeling as empty, but it still scarred. I told her that once she held her baby, a new love would enter her heart. Maybe even heal it a little. She insisted, it would get better, but never fully heal.

I asked her if it was hard to see him with Lola. I was surprised when she said sometimes. But she knew he was happy, and Lola was good for him. She knew they were good together. That it was harder for her to see him be self destructive with Naomi. All she wanted was for him to be happy, and she hoped one day to find someone she loved as much as she had loved him.

Gabe left with Zoe and Jacey just as Evie came in. I hugged her closely, noticing the tiny bump.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, leading her up to the soon to be nursery. We were both very anxious to fix it up, but we had about one month to go until her ultrasound.

"Good," she smiled.

"You are so lucky that you are having it so easy! I was so sick with Gabe," I told her, as I handed her the bag of clothes I had gotten from Bella Blu. "I hope you like it them. I searched online for trendy clothes," I told her. I didn't want her walking around high school in anything that resembled a moo-moo.

"This is great, Bella, way too much!" she said, looking at the receipt I hadn't meant to leave in the bag.

"Oops," I said, grabbing it from her hands. "You weren't supposed to see that," I told her.

"Bella, a hundred and twenty-nine dollar jean leggings? Really?" she asked. "I mean, I spent that much on my entire fall wardrobe."

"Look, I wanted to do it, okay? I enjoy shopping for other people," I told her. It felt good to be able to give her things. It had taken a very long time for me to appreciate gifts. It makes life much easier to say thank you and enjoy the gift, on me and Edward.

"Thank you, Bella," she told me.

"It was my pleasure," I told her. I wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of becoming a grandmother at thirty-five, but I was happy. I insisted the baby never call me Grandma, or Mom-Mom, or Nanny. I was working on something cool, something young for the little one to call me and Edward. I was thinking something as simple as E and B. It would be so easy for him or her to learn to say.

Evie and I bonded some more while working on the nursery, before she left a few hours later. I always enjoyed her company. I almost wanted her to move in now rather than later. Her father loved her very much, but her step motherdidn't show much interest in her.

Over the next few days I thought more and more about names for grandparents. Gabe called my mom Renee. Just like me. Figures. Esme and Carlisle like to be called Nana and Grandpa. It was had been hard for Carlisle recently. He felt like maybe he hadn't been a big enough influence in Gabe and Naomi's life, and he was heartbroken over the mistakes they had made. He still loved them, and made sure he told them. They both knew they could ask him for anything, and go to him to talk whenever they wanted.

Edward did get made a bit mad when Carlisle suggested a more in depth conversation with Zoe about safe sex. It was actually a bit amusing.

"She is tweleve!" Edward's mouth practically fell to the ground in shock.

"And how old were Gabe and Naomi, Edward. Please don't be naïve," Carlisle rationalized with him.

"She is a good girl, she isn't as rebellious as Gabe and Naomi," Edward argued.

"Edward, no one had a clue about Naomi's behavior," Carlisle pointed out.

"She isn't going to have sex, okay? I know my daughter." Edward stated with certainty.

"Edward," I interjected, "I think we should," I said, siding with Reverend C.

"Bella, you think she would have sex?" Edward asked me, raising one eyebrow.

"I don't want to take the chance, Edward. It's like having a pool in your back yard...you can tell your kids not to swim it, you can even build a fence around it to try and keep them out, but if you know they can find a way into that pool, don't you think you should at least teach them how to swim?"

"You are crazy," Edward said, laughing at what I thought was a pretty serious little speech. Carlisle laughed at Edward. "Fine," Edward relented, pulling at his hair.

That night, as a united front, Edward and I entered Zoe's room.

"Zoe, your Mom and I want to talk to you about sex," Edward blurted out. Zoe's big brown eyes grew wide as she stared in shock at the man who last week could barely utter the word period to her; who in his nervousness forgot the name of pads and tampons.

"What about it?" she asked slowly. Her brown hair was pulled off her neck in a messy bun as she sat on the middle of her bed surrounded by homework, and a phone that seemed to buzz every few seconds.

"Well," I began, "Your father and I hope you choose to wait until you are married, but we want to make sure you know about all your options, to be safe," I explained.

"Like, if you do have sex, that you make sure you use protection, like a condom." Edward picked up where I left off.

"Oh," Zoe said. "I wouldn't make the same mistake as Gabe," she informed us.

"Zoe, what happened to Gabe was a mistake, people don't make mistakes on purpose," I told her. "But one day, if you find yourself ready, and in love, and want to have sex, I want you to know you can come talk to me or your dad."

"Yeah, I'd much rather have you come tell us you want condoms or birth control pills then tell us you're pregnant." Edward practically cringed as he spoke that sentence. I smiled a little at him trying to contain the giggles that threatened to spill out of my mouth. He just looked at me with his 'what the hell look'. He was so adorkable.

"Just make sure you are ready; it's a huge emotional commitment, and sex should be special. Your Dad and I aren't going to be mad if you are responsible and take the time to follow your heart," I said, pushing a piece of her golden brown hair behind her ear.

"I promise," Zoe said.

"Good, cause we just love you and want the best for you, baby," Edward said. He kissed her head, and messed up her hair, before I hugged her tight, telling her again that I loved her.

Edward and I left her room. "See that wasn't so bad was it?" I asked.

"Nope, she is a smart girl. That is my kid," Edward said, pointing back towards Zoe's room. "That one," Edward said, pointing at Gabe's room, "is yours."

I shook my head at my husband, not wanting to admit that he was right. Zoe probably would never hook up, or smoke pot. She was Daddy's girl through and through.

**So Reviews are always nice. I love them. **


	13. Chapter 13 Forever Virgin

**Same old, Same Old SM owns some of these characters. **

**OwnedbyTwins is my lovely Beta! Thanks BB! **

**I am super excited – just got my Ticket to the NY screening of Eclipse – On June 29th at 8p! WOOT! Angry Robward here I come! Bringing LOTS of panties! **

**GPOV**

Today was a good day. Lola wasn't sick from the chemo, so she could function. Days like these I treasured. She laughed and was normal; well, as normal as she can could be.

I told her you could hardly tell she was wearing a wig, and it was true. Jasper and Alice had spent a lot of money to make sure it was good enough for her. They had found something she wasn't self conscious wearing. I tried to go with her to her treatments, to hold the bucket as she puked. I couldn't be with her twenty-four hours a day; I knew that, and she knew that, so but when I could be there, I was. I didn't want her to think I only wanted her on days like today.

We laid long ways on the couch in her basement, her leg over my hip as our mouths fought for dominance. She liked to grind her hips against me, and it made me so hard. It's been way too long since I have gotten laid. And us hanging out in the basement is a privilege. It's Jasper saying, I trust you to be respectful. And Lola was making it very hard to live up to his expectations of me in that department.

I tried to be gentle, because she bruised so easily, but she made it so hard when she would grind against my hard cock. I moved my hand from cupping her face to her hips, stilling them. Her shirt had come up, and I could feel her cool skin, my fingers wrapped around her curvy hip. I couldn't help it, my hands had a mind of their own and I trailed them up her shirt to feel her firm breasts. Her nipples were erect against my hand as I cupped her small but very perky boob.

She pulled away from my kiss. "Gabe," she breathed heavily. "My dad is upstairs," she reminded me as I trailed kisses down her neck, to her collar bone until my lips were over her covered breasts.

"And, if you didn't grind against me so much, I might care enough to stop," I told her, as I moved my mouth over her tits.

She didn't push me away, instead her hands threaded through my hair, grabbing at it as she ground against me with more need. My mouth continued to go lower as I placed kisses on her flat stomach, her belly button, and both of her hips. I looked up at her, asking her if I can could slip my hand under the baggy sweat pants she wore with the tiny t-shirt she had paired them with.

I didn't want to put all my weight on her, she told me she wouldn't break, but I didn't know how true that was. I moved us back into the position we had started in, with her lying along-side me, and slipped my hand in. I started out slow, feeling her outside her underwear, rubbing my hand over her warm center.

"Mmmm," she moaned in pleasure, so I slipped my hand under her panties, the palm of my hand against her. I went from rubbing to more focused strokes with my fingers, until I let my index finger slide inside of her.

I was beyond surprised when I felt her hand come to rest on the outside of my jeans, her hand mimicking mine, rubbing up and down my hard dick.

I bit down on her lip with a moan; my hand had been the only one to touch my cock in months. I could feel her hand shaking as she undid the button and unzipped my fly. She struggled against my boxer briefs to bring him free. I helped her a little, pulling him out.

Her small hand wrapped around me as she stroked up and down to the rhythm I was moving in and out of her slick pussy.

"Gabe, I'm ready," she breathed.

"Ready?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at her in confusion.

"Yeah, you know, to have sex," she said shyly.

I shook my head and smiled at her; it was so not happening, not like this. Not in her basement like some cliché while her father was upstairs.

"No way," I told her. "Not like this. When we do that, I am not going to focus on anything but you, and I can't do that with your Dad upstairs."

"Gabe, please, we don't know if we will ever get the chance again," she said, holding my cock firmly in her hand. "I love you," she told me.

"And I love you," I told her, kissing her nose, before I pulled completely away from her and sat up, tucking myself back into my pants. "And we will have plenty of time, and lots of chances, and I fucking hate when you talk like that."

Lola sat up and adjusted her shirt with a pout on her face. "You can't promise me that, Gabe. Guarantee me we will have plenty of chances and I will drop it," Lola said, staring me down. Begging me to make a promise to her I couldn't.

"You don't get to use this every time you don't get your way, or get told no. You don't get to hang that over my head! You know I can't promise you that or make you any guarantees! All I can promise you is the best I have to offer you, and sex on this couch while I worry if your father, a man I respect, catches me deflowering his first born daughter is not the best I can do! Not for you and not for me, and I will not take your virginity because you are scared of dying a virgin. So please...please don't guilt me into doing something that isn't right for either of us."

Lola sat back in defeat, crossing her arms over her chest, upset that I wouldn't give in to her. I knew the mood had been shot in the ass. She was going to pout all night over this. I picked up the remote and switched the channel to the basketball game and we watched in silence.

I heard the basement door squeak open and click shut, followed by the heavy footsteps of Jasper. I had known it would only be a matter of time before he came down to check on us.

"Hey," he said, looking at us, as we sat, barely touching, on his couch. "I just needed to grab something," he gave us his excuse, when of course he was really here to make sure I wasn't groping his daughter inappropriately.

"How is Evie, Gabe?" he asked, as he grabbed some random shirt hanging by the washer.

"She is good; we go for her ultrasound tomorrow, actually. She is really excited to find out if it's a boy or girl," I told him. Her belly was actually really cute; I always talked to it, and touched it. It was pretty amazing. "I felt the baby move yesterday, too. It was so surreal."

"Yeah, the first time I felt something like that was when your mom was pregnant with you. She let me feel one day, I remember how cool I thought it was." Jasper smiled as he thought back sixteen years ago. "Hey, Lola, everything okay? You don't feel sick or anything, right?" Jasper asked, obviously unaware that this was her pouty-my-boyfriend-won't-have-sex-with-me face, not her I-am-sick-from fucking-chemo-face. But, he shouldn't really know about her other face.

"I'm fine, Dad," Lola said, a bit annoyed. The question must get old after everyone asks you it everyday, at least ten times.

"Gabe, it's getting late; don't you think you ought to get going?" Jasper hinted at me, letting me know it was time to go.

"Guess it is," I said, looking at my girlfriend, hoping she wasn't still being pissy at me. I didn't want to leave if that was the case.

She laughed, so I smirked back her. I placed a kiss on her forehead. "Call you later," I told her.

Jasper stood with his arms crossed as I walked past him, his features stoic. I just smiled at him too. I took the steps two by two as I made my exit.

The next morning, I didn't go right to school. I went straight to Evie's. Her ultrasound was first thing this morning, and I had promised to pick her up.

She was really struggling at home. Her father was taking a lot of slack for her pregnancy, being the pastor of Fountain City church after Carlisle had retired a few years ago.

I knocked on her door, which her father answered with a huff and a pointed look. He moved aside with a tense nod to let me in. I didn't blame him for hating me. I did knock up his daughter.

"Evie!" he yelled, letting her know I was there.

She skipped down the steps and smiled at me. "Ready?" I asked her, as I stood with my hands shoved in my jean pockets, nervously wanting to get out of dodge.

"Yup," she said, as she kissed her father's cheek. "Bye, Daddy," she beamed, as she pulled me by the arm out the door.

"I can't believe you have the balls to go in that house," she laughed as I opened the car door for her.

"I can't exactly avoid him forever, I mean he's like family now," I told her before shutting the door. I climbed in the driver's seat as Evie put on her seat belt. I couldn't help it; I reached out and placed my hand on her small belly. "Hey, baby," I said, as I rubbed her belly. That's when I felt it, a kick.

"The baby likes your voice," Evie smiled. "Say something else?" she asked me.

"Hey, it's your Daddy, how you doing in there?" I asked, and I felt two more kicks against my hand. "That is crazy," I told Evie.

"She always goes nuts when she hears you," Evie told me.

"She? Don't you mean he?" I teased her.

"No, I am, like, ninety percent positive she's a girl," she informed me.

"Yeah, well I am like ninety percent positive HE'S a boy," I informed her.

"Guess we will know soon enough who is right," Evie smiled. "How is Lola?" she asked.

"She is doing good right now. Chemo is rough right after, but in between she isn't so bad. Last night you wouldn't have even known she was sick - she was feeling so well," I told her.

"That's great, Gabe."

"Yeah, she has a ways to go, but it's looking good so far, I think," I looked over at her, and noticed my hand still rested on her stomach. "I'm sorry," I said, removing my hand.

"It's fine," Evie smiled at me. "I don't mind."

I sat anxiously with Evie in the doctor's office. My foot was shaking a mile a minute and I drummed my fingers on the plastic covered bed Evie sat on as we waited for the doctor to come in to do the ultrasound.

"Gabe, knock it off," Evie said, annoyed by my nervous habits.

"Sorry," I said shyly, stilling my movements.

I rubbed my face, feeling my jaw line, and tapped my foot quickly but as quietly as possible.

"Gabe!" Evie exclaimed at my still jittery movements.

"Sorry," I said, again. "I can't help it! I am sick of waiting!" I told her.

"Yeah, well you are not the one who was told to drink water so you had a full bladder and not to pee until after it was over. I am the one that should be shaking my legs!" she pointed out.

**BPOV**

Alice called me, just to chat. I didn't know how to act. I didn't know if I should tell her I knew about her and Jasper. I didn't know what to say to her, so I chatted with her as if I knew nothing. Like her husband hadn't told me he still carried a torch for me and she had called him out on it.

I honestly wasn't sure why she still wanted to maintain a friendship with me. Then again, I didn't lead him on, or have an affair with him. I couldn't control his feelings anymore than she could.

"Hey Alice, you know, I was wondering, if I loved Edward more than he loved me, if I would be able to accept that, and I think I could." I told her, out of the blue. One minute we were discussing some TV show, and the next that just popped out.

"Bella, what are you getting at?" she asked me, cautiously.

"I know. Jasper told me. Okay?" I told her, coming clean.

"Bella, I don't want to talk about that with you, okay?" Alice said.

"No! It's not okay! It's so far from okay! Because he loves you. He does love you, and I don't think he loves me more than you! I mean in high school, all he ever did was crush on you, and he was so happy with you. I don't know where all these old feelings came from, but I do believe he loves me just not in the same way as he loves you. I just think when things get tough he reverts back or something. I don't know. But if he loved me as passionately as he thinks he does, then why am I not with him? I mean, I know one hundred percent I belong with Edward. And if that is true where does that leave Jasper? It can't leave him alone."

"Bella, if you had never met Edward, or if things hadn't worked out, would you have ended up with Jasper?" Alice asked me.

"Honestly, most likely," I told her the truth. "But, let's just say, Edward never came back, and Jasper and I got together; I would always love Edward slightly more than Jasper. And would that be so bad? Such an unforgivable thing? Is it a sin to love two people? Or to love someone not quite as much as you love someone else?" I asked her.

"Bella..." Alice started, before she stopped.

"Just, don't write him off. It's not as if he hasn't loved you at all," I told her.

"I'm not going to talk about this with you, Bella," Alice repeated.

"Fine, I'm done," I surrendered. "OH! Gabe and Evie, they go today to find out the sex of the baby! I can't wait! Gabe is growing up so much - he saved up some money, and gave it to Evie, so once she finds out she can go pick out the bedding for the nursery," I told her. I was truly proud of the man he was becoming so fast.

"He is a good boy Bella. He really has been amazing with Lola, I swear he is the reason she is doing so well. He is her reason, and I am so thankful she has him. Jasper is, too. He is the one that said that after he left last night," Alice told me.

"He should tell Gabe things like that more often; Gabe thinks he dislikes him because of all that happened," I told her. "But Gabe...he does love her." And I thought, he probably will never love another girl in his life as much as he loved her. And, if she didn't overcome her cancer, he would have to move on, find love with someone else. Would she condemn him like Alice was doing to Jasper for not loving her more? Or would she love him enough that it wouldn't matter. Would she see that Gabe was able to love because of her? Be thankful for her?

I wanted Alice to see it, but it was an awful thought that made my stomach churn. I prayed we would never be faced with that loss.

I waited for Gabe and Evie to come home, because it was Evie's home now, too. Even if she didn't live here, she was always welcome.

I told them not to go to school after the ultrasound; that I expected them to come tell me the minute they found out. I think I was more excited than they were.

I even told Edward to make sure he was around when they got home. "Bella, it's a baby, it doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl, it's just as great," Edward told me.

"I know that, I just want to give him or her a title. I just want to know what we are getting, it's exciting," I told him, as the front door opened. "OH! They are here!" I said, clapping my hands. The smile on my face must have infected Edward, because his face lit up with mine.

"So?" I asked, as we met them in the foyer.

"Couldn't tell," Gabe shrugged.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I gasped.

"Nope, legs were crossed," Evie added.

"Well, we will just have to make arrangements ourselves," I concluded, prepared to pay out of pocket for an ultrasound.

"It's a girl," Gabe said with his father's signature smirk.

My eyes bugged out. "Gabe!" I said, hitting his shoulder. "I can't believe you did that to me! You either, Evie!" I laughed.

"It's too easy, Ma," Gabe laughed.

"Congratulations," Edward said to them, giving them both a hug. I kissed both their cheeks, and told them I loved them.

"Oh, so now we get to finish the nursery!" I said to Evie.

I noticed Edward put his arm around Gabe and pull him away. No doubt telling him how tiring it will be for him over the next thirty or so years as he tries to keep her from guys like him.

I loved my boys.

**So you know the drill, review. I said this in my other story – Reviews are one of the few things authors get as a reward – so if you read you should review. I think my personal rule – If I get updates and wait for the story's update to hit my inbox I review. So leave some feedback, some thoughts...whatever you want!**


	14. Chapter 14 Through Hell

**SM owns it. Not me. **

**OwnedByTwins is my awesome beta. She loves to tell me to be more graphic in the lemons – thank her for that! **

**Umm...I have this new story called Collide and it's up for a shimmer award! How awesome! So go read it – check it out. Review it, it would mean a lot to me! Wicked Angel is also up for a shimmer award! So please make sure you go vote! Voting begins June 27th!**

**GPOV**

I pulled into the parking lot of the church, where my dad had built the recording studio for his Christian rock music label. I wasn't sure what he wanted to talk to me about, but he had asked me to come here after school.

I didn't have much time in between school and work at the car wash, so it had better be important. I didn't want to waste my one free hour at the church.

I walked in the door and was immediately faced with Evie's father. I waved at him, unsure of what type of greeting I should give him. I could feel his eyes boring into me as I shoved my hands in my pockets and made my way toward the studio behind the Coffee House.

"Dad?" I called out, as I swung open the door.

"In here, Gabe," I heard him call from his small office.

I made my way to his desk, and slumped in the seat in front of it. "What's up?" I asked, crossing my left leg over my right causally.

"I wanted to talk to you about something...I need some help here, and I figured I'd give you the job if you wanted it," he told me.

We both ran our fingers through our hair at the same time, causing us to laugh.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, I mean, the thought had crossed my mind when I first told you to get a job. But I wanted you to show that you could be mature enough. I didn't want to just bail you out. I can see how hard you are working, how serious you are about doing what is right, because you want to, not because you have to... The night you were born I cried like a baby."

"Did you really? Over Mom?"

"Lots of things, not just that. I think I cried for twenty-four hours straight. Holding you, so small in my arms, I never knew I could love anything so much, so fast. So utterly. Part of me was terrified. Raising a son is more a matter of faith than most people know."

"So's being one."

"You're right. I just never really had a father. I think I realized something through all this."

"What?"

"That my job as a father isn't to give you the whole picture; because the truth is, I can't see it myself. My job is to try and help. And every now and then, fit a piece of the puzzle. That is what I want to do for you know, here, with this job."

"You _have_ helped me dad."

"I hope so. But your future, your expectations… they belong to you. Don't let anybody stand in the way of those. Not even me."

"You have always pushed me to be my own person. To think for myself. I just did what you taught me. So, what do you want me to do?" I asked.

"Promotion type stuff. Work with the radio stations, go to the local shows we set up for newer artists and help them with selling their merchandise, getting out news about the shows, tour dates. It's perfect for someone who can work in the evenings. I would need you like three to four nights a week, maybe five over the summer."

"Dad, I need to work more than that during the school year. I need to save as much as I can," I told him.

"Even if you're making twenty dollars an hour?" he smirked at me.

"You are serious?" I asked.

"You deserve a break," he told me. "And I want to help you."

"When do I start?" I asked, excited.

"After you give notice to the car wash," he said with a stern look and cock of his eyebrow.

"Deal," I said.

I never thought I would be excited to work for my Dad. I had always thought it would be a fate worse than death. I was wrong. My Dad was a cool guy, and he ran a freakin' record label. I gave notice to the car wash, anxious to be done with that job.

Evie was doing good, our little princess was doing good, Lola was doing good, and I had a good job. Life was looking up.

I walked into the studio two weeks later for my first day of work. That is when I saw her. Naomi. Behind the glass, singing.

"Hey, son," my dad said, swiveling around in the chair to face me.

"What's she doing here?" I asked. I didn't mean to sound defensive, but she hadn't really spoken to me much. I wasn't sure how to act around her. I mean she was my best friend one minute, my girlfriend the next, and then a complete stranger to me.

At the end of the day, I knew I loved her. I knew I would do anything for her.

"She wanted to start recording some stuff she wrote. Emmett came and asked, and I figured why not?" he shrugged.

"She sounds good," I commented, tossing my jacket on the couch that sat against the back wall. "What do you need me to do?" I asked.

"Try to get her a gig," my dad said, cocking his head toward the glass.

"How was that, Edward?" Naomi asked, interrupting.

Dad flicked the button to talk back to her, telling her she did great. Her eyes met mine and I smiled at her. She waved back at me.

"Gabe, there is list of places there," he said, pointing to a few papers on the table next to me, "a few churches, Coffee Houses, I want you to call them and tell them we are sending them a demo of a new act we hope to book. You can use the phone in my office."

"Sure," I said, taking the list of local places. I knew them all. I sat down at my Dad's desk and began to call.

I had gotten through half the list when my Dad poked his head in to tell me he was going to grab some dinner. "Want anything?" he asked.

"Whatever you're getting," I told him.

"Okay. Be back in twenty," he said, pushing off the door frame.

I picked up the phone to make another call when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. She was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over her chest. "Hey," she said meekly.

"Hey," I said, putting the phone down.

"How are you?" she asked, twirling her blonde hair.

"Good...how are you?" I asked.

"Better," she paused.

At the same time we both said, "Listen - "

"Go ahead," she said, shaking her head with a small smile.

I pushed away from the desk and stood up. I shoved my hands in my pocket as I walked toward her, and I leaned against the chair next to the door. "I...I miss you," I told her. "I miss your friendship," I clarified. "I'm sorry things got so fucked up."

"I'm sorry I let them get so fucked up; that I wasn't a better friend to you. Even to Lola. I know she and I have never been really close, but at the end of the day – she is like family. I was hurt...and really surprised by everything, but I didn't need to be such a bitch," she told me. "I miss your friendship too."

"Sometimes in a relationship, going through hell isn't so bad if you come out of it a little stronger. The same is true about friends. I never stopped caring about you," I said.

"I get it, Gabe. I mean, I know what you mean, it's weird how you can still love the person, you just stop needing them the way you used to," she said, clarifying exactly how I felt about her. I loved her. I just didn't need her the way I used to.

"So, friends again?" I asked, extending my hand to hers.

She hesitated.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm scared. You've been everything to me. And I have been your sidekick, your confidant, your other half for so long and that's how our relationship works. And it's a nice place for you, but for me it's scary. Cause I realized that aside from you, I don't have anything. My entire life is attached to you," Naomi said. "I want to find who I am. I want to take chances. I want to utilize my talents. I want to be healthy..." she trailed off.

"And I want you to do all that stuff too!" I told her."And I...I want to help you if I can."

She extended her hand to mine and shook it. "Friends," she smiled.

"Best friends," I clarified, pulling her closer to me. And I hugged her. In a platonic way, for the first time since I started jerking off with her in middle school.

"Listen, if you need to talk or whatever, I'm here for you." I told her.

Naomi smiled, "I doubt you know what I am going through," she said, shaking her head. Since she had returned to school, people had been talking about her. Whispering about her, spreading half truths and rumors, making it hard for her to readjust to school.

I cocked my eyebrow at her. "Well, let me see. People stare at you when you walk down the hall, we've seen that. They whisper behind your back. You suddenly overhear your name in a conversation of strangers. And pretty soon, justifiable paranoia sets in and whether they are or not, you are convinced that everyone is talking about you. Imagine if you had done something even worse," I shrugged.

"Like what?" Naomi almost laughed.

"Like knocking up the pastor's daughter, then starting a relationship with a freshman who has leukemia. Imagine that, Nay, we have something else in common."

"I see," Naomi said.

"We are providing gossip for the small minded people, and unfortunately for you, you are the top story." I told her.

"So what do I do now?"

"Same thing I did...pray like hell for a better story to come along." Her misfortune had just happened to be my fortune.

"Great...think you could knock up another girl?" Naomi joked.

"For you?" I joked back.

I heard the door click shut, signaling that my Dad was back. I motioned back to the desk I was supposed to be working at. "Better get back to work. My best friend needs a gig," I smiled at her.

My Dad came in a put the take-out food on the desk. "Things okay?" he asked.

"Yup," I smiled, digging into my food.

After work, I picked up Lola and brought her back to my house to hang out. She hated being home so much. I held her hand in mine as I pushed the front door open.

"Where's Mom and Dad?" I asked Zoe, noticing how quiet the house was.

"Dad went over Grandma Esme's and Mom and Evie took your money to go shopping for the baby," Zoe said, flipping through the TV channels.

I shrugged and lead Lo upstairs to my room. I picked up some of the clothes I had scattered on the floor. "Sorry," I said, tossing the mess in the hamper.

I plopped down on my bed and flipped on the TV. Lola pushed the door closed, and stood at the edge of my bed. I watched her as she slowly pulled her shirt over her head.

"What are you doing?" I smirked. I reached for her hand and pulled her closer, her knees hitting the edge of my bed.

She leaned over, her breast hanging out of her bra. She licked her lips. "I'm done trying to talk you into having sex with me," she said.

"We have plenty of time for that," I told her.

"It's not about time, Gabe. This is about how you carried my bag yesterday. This is about how... When we go to the movies and you go and you buy popcorn you always make sure you bring back a napkin so I don't wipe all the grease on my jeans. You kissed me first. The second time... " she paused to climb closer to me, taking off my shirt. "You counted to ten before doing it again just in case I wanted to stop you. You picked me. We were alone in this house for months and you never pressured me for sex. You understood without a word why I wasn't ready. Do you have to ask me now why I am? Gabe, I'm gonna count to ten... And then I'm going to start kissing you. If you don't want me to... then you're just gonna have to stop me," she said, taking in a deep breath. "One...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight...nine...ten, I love you," she whispered, her lips meeting mine slowly.

I opened my mouth against hers, pulling her on top of me. My hands roamed her stomach, her hips, her bra covered breasts. I unclasped her bra, tossing it to the ground. Her tits hung down, begging me to taste them. My tongue darted out over her hard nipples as she moved against my hard dick.

I reached between us, and undid my pants. Lola looked up at me as I lifted my hips to let her pull them off. When she climbed back on top of me, I wrapped my arm around her waist and moved her underneath me.

"You are in control," I whispered against her neck as I worked to get her pants off. She kissed me again, keeping me from telling her she could stop me at anytime. She kicked her jeans off further before pulling my boxers down.

"This is what I want," she said, stroking my dick between us. She bucked her hips up letting my cock hit her clit, the only barrier between us the flimsy underwear she wore. I moved against it, before slipping off her underwear and inserting two fingers inside her.

I worked my fingers in and out of her. My thumb circling her clit slowly as I kissed from her jaw to her collar bone. I let my tongue swirl around her nipple. Lola arched her back in pleasure as she moaned beneath me.

She grabbed my face and pulled my mouth back to hers kissing me fiercely. She pushed her body closer to mine and bit down on my bottom lip as she came.

"Ready?" I asked to make sure she didn't change her mind. She didn't speak. She looked up at me with her big round eyes, licked her lips, and nodded yes. A shy smile spread across her face.

I opened up the nightstand next to my bed and pulled out my last condom, ripping it open I put it on. I was ready to give Lola the world if I could. I couldn't tell her no anymore.

"I love you," I told her, as the head of my dick sat at her entrance.

I moved in slowly; feeling the tightness of her walls around me was overwhelming as I pushed all the way through.

The pace was slow and sweet. I never felt more connected to one person in my entire life as I did when I was with Lola. Her body underneath me seemed fragile as I moved inside of her. Her eyes closed in pleasure that only I had ever brought to her before.

I was quickly reaching my peak, my balls starting to tighten and the coil starting to twist in my stomach. Lola's moans were getting louder. I kissed her to try and quiet them since Zoe was still in the house.

Then it happened. My Dad yelled upstairs for me.

"Gabe! I know you are not alone in that room with Lola!" he yelled.

"Fuck," I said, jumping up. I took off the condom and tossed it in the trash can as Lola and I searched for our clothes.

We could hear his footsteps as he slowly came up the steps, probably giving us time to get dressed. I am sure the last thing he wanted to do was catch us naked.

Lola yanked on her pants, as I did with mine. I tossed her her shirt she left lying on the floor, before I quickly put min on backwards.

Lola threw on her shirt, without her bra; I saw it on the floor and picked it up as the door knob turned. I threw it on the bed and threw the covers over it, before I went to the door to open it just as my father pushed it open. I tried to catch my breath and act nonchalant. It didn't matter, I could feel how nervous and worried Lo was.

"Sorry," I said, taking Lo's hand and walking out of the room with her.

My dad placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me. "Can you excuse us, Lola?" he asked her.

"Sure," she said meekly, letting go of my hand.

My dad pulled me into my room, shutting the door behind him. I watched his eyes scan the room, falling on the condom in the trashcan.

"Why do you put me in these positions?" he asked. "You know the rules. You know how Jasper feels! I thought you learned more from what happened with Evie!" he said.

"How about you just forget about all this?" I said; I could feel myself reverting back to the asshole I was six months ago.

"How do I do that, Gabe? You are my son. You live in my house!"

"Are you going to tell Jasper and Alice?" I asked. I could care less what happened to me over it. I just didn't want Lola to get in any trouble.

"No I am not going to tell them my son deflowered their daughter! Who is sick! It's the last thing they need right now" My dad tried not to yell. "But you... you are grounded. Next time, if we are not home, you can take her back to her house, or you can wait outside with her. You are not to have any friends in this house without your Mother or I here, understood?"

"Fine," I said. "Are we done?" I asked.

Dad paused before he opened my door, dismissing me. "Take her home, and come right back."

He left the room and I grabbed her bra. I didn't bother hiding it on my way back down. "Here," I said, handing her the bra. She took it from me quickly, shoving it in her purse as her face grew red. "I have to take you home," I told her, opening the door.

Lola walked out ahead of me and I opened the car door for her. Once we pulled out of the driveway Lola managed to ask the question I knew was coming.

"Is he going to tell my parents?" she asked.

"Nope," I told her, focusing on the road. "But, I am grounded." I told her. "I'm sorry. It shouldn't have been like that. It should have...ended a bit differently," I spoke with regret. "You are so impatient!" I added with a laugh. I didn't want to be in a bad mood over what had happened.

When I pulled up outside her house, I pulled her close and kissed her. "See you when I can," I told her.

"Okay," she said, kissing me again.

"Love you," I told her.

"Love you too," she smiled back before opening the car door.

And I was back to being grounded. For none other than having sex. Who would have thought?

**You know the drill, Review. It's like my paycheck to get those email updates. And I smashed my iphone screen today. I is sad. **

**Anyone ever caught in the act? **


	15. Chapter 15 Neon

**SM owns Twlight. John Mayer owns Neon, and Barlow Girl owns Porcelain Heart**

**OwnedByTwins is my Beta. Thanks bb! I couldn't do it without you! **

**Neon**

"Dad," I began to speak as I walked into his office to begin working. He looked up from his disorganized desk - papers scattered everywhere, empty coffee cups from the mini mart, and an overflowing trash can at his feet. "It's been a week since you grounded me," I went on.

"And?" he asked, as he looked back down at his papers and scribbled some more notes.

"And, I want to know when my sentence is over," I said, trying not to sound cocky.

"It's over," he told me, not bothering to look up at me. "Naomi is coming in, can you get the studio set up for her?" he asked.

"Thanks," I smiled. I pulled out my phone and texted Lola the good news. I was hoping to get finished here fast and have enough time to stop by and see her. All I had done the past week was work, go to school, and take Evie to the doctors. I was not allowed to talk on the phone and since Lo was sick, she was never in school.

I was really mad that my dad would ground me like he did, not allowing me to even see her. But the message did hit home. I didn't want to screw up again. I didn't want to have to go a week without seeing her ever again. Shit, I didn't want to go a day without her.

I was doing good at work. I got Naomi a show at a Coffee Bar in Muncie. Just on cue, Naomi walked into the studio. I didn't need to look up to know it was her. I could tell by the walk. The way her heels clicked over the hardwood floor.

"G," she smiled, as her blonde hair bounced around her face.

"Nay," I smirked back at her. "What did you do to your hair?" I asked, pulling at a red chunk of hair that fell over the left side of her forehead. Her self confidence since she had been back was low and you could tell. She didn't dress up a lot. She wore a lot of jeans. Today, well, today she was looking a lot different.

Not only was her hair different, but she also had on a silver mini skirt, her beat up leather jacket, with a white top that was just as tight, and so low cut I could even make out the outline of her bra.

"Don't you like it?" she teased with a smile, shrugging out of her small leather jacket.

"I didn't say that, I just asked," I explained.

"Still grounded?" she asked, taking a seat on the rolling chair in front of the recording equipment.

"As of five minutes ago, I am a free man," I told her with a huge smile.

"Maybe we can hang out after we finish up here," she said, crossing her legs. Her short skirt rode up even further. "I mean, if you didn't already make plans with Lola."

"I haven't talked to her yet. But if we are later than nine I can't really see her anyway," I told her. "I guess we can see what happens," I shrugged, trying not to stare at her legs.

"Ready?" I asked, pointing toward the studio.

"Sure am," she said, pushing the chair out from underneath her as she stood up. She walked to the other side of the glass, and being a sixteen-year-old boy, I appreciated her ass as she walked away from me.

"Gabe," I heard my father say in a warning tone. "I thought you already knew girls don't like it when their boyfriends stare at other girls," he whispered in my ear.

"Well, it's unrealistic for them to think we won't," I smiled.

"Their fathers don't like it either," I heard Emmett add.

"Where'd you come from?" I asked.

"I have been here," Emmett told me, crossing his arms. "And keep your eyes above my daughters neck," he warned.

Naomi situated herself, placing the ear phones over her hair; then making sure her music was laid out in front of her the way she liked. My dad and Emmett did whatever it is they do to produce.

"I want to start with _Porcelain Heart,_" Naomi said.

"No problem," my dad said, pushing the button to speak to her. "I'll be in." Dad pushed away from the board and looked at me, "Sit with Emmett and help him out, for this one," he told me. He walked into the studio with Naomi.

He took a seat behind the black piano, and began to play. Naomi started to sing, her soprano voice was soft, and sounded sad.

"_Broken heart one more time  
Pick yourself up, why even cry  
Broken pieces in your hands  
Wonder how you'll make it whole_

You know, you pray  
This can't be the way  
You cry, you say  
Something's gotta change  
And mend this porcelain heart of mine

Someone said "A broken heart  
Would sting at first then make you stronger"  
You wonder why this pain remains  
Were hearts made whole just to break"

Dad played on the piano, matching Naomi's desperation as she sang more. I had just told her a few weeks ago how pain could make us stronger.

I had to listen to her sing the song four more times. It was like torture to me. I wondered how much I had hurt her.

I was lost in my self-hatred while Emmett, Dad, and Naomi discussed whether or not they wanted to go through the song a fifth time.

"What do you think, Gabe?" Naomi asked, as she nervously twirled a chunk of her now red hair.

"I think you nailed it that last time." I wasn't just saying that so I didn't have to listen to again. She had sounded amazing.

"Let's take a break," Dad suggested, standing from the piano. It had been so long since I had heard him play. It had been a long time since I had played.

I used to play. I used to be in a band. I forgot how much I loved music. It had been months since I had picked up my guitar, or even sang; and years since I had sat behind the piano. I had started to write songs since everything had been happening. I had them scribbled down in leather bound notebook I curled up and carried in my back pocket.

Dad and Naomi emerged from the other room, and she took her normal seat on the couch.

"Em, can you look over those contracts?" Dad asked.

"Sure," he said, getting up. He pointed at me, and then pointed to his eyes. "Behave," he said with a half smile.

"Me?" I laughed. "Always." Emmett laughed with me. It was the one thing I loved about him. He was always so playful, even when he was dead serious. He was the complete opposite of Rose.

"Was it awful?" Naomi asked. "I mean...it's hard to sing songs like that in front of you," she said, flipping the hair on the top of her head to the right side.

"Want the truth?" I asked her.

"Always," she whispered.

"You sounded amazing. And it's hard for me to listen. I don't know how to make up to you everything I did." I told her. I stood up, walked towards her and sat back down on the small couch next to her.

"Would you stop apologizing to me, Gabe?" she asked. "I did my part in fucking everything up. I know that. It just wasn't the right time for us...and it's okay. I'm working every week with a therapist. She, ah... she thinks I have a personality disorder. She called it histrionic."

"And what do _you_ think?" I asked her.

"I think she might be right," Naomi said. "Sounds a lot like me. Attention-seeking, dramatic, seductive...just to name a few. I don't want to get into all my flaws with you right now."

"I'm here for you - you know that," I told her.

"I know," she sighed, her head coming to rest on my shoulder with a sigh.

Finally my phone buzzed. I had been waiting for Lo to call me back. I shifted on the couch to retrieve the phone, making Naomi move her head from my shoulder. "Hey," I smiled into the phone. "I was wondering when you would call me back." I stood from the couch, _Sorry, _I mouthed to Naomi. She swatted her hand, letting me know it was no big deal.

"So, you are done being grounded?" she asked.

"Yes," I told her. "Just at work. I don't know how much longer we are going to be. I hope to be out of here by seven or eight."

"I know you are at work, but I really missed you. My mom actually said she would bring me over as long as it was okay with your dad."

"Yeah, I mean, if you want. You might be a little bored, but I don't see why you couldn't come hang out," I told her. I was getting anxious to see her.

"Really?" she asked. "I mean I totally understand if I can't. I don't want to cause a problem," she said.

"Please, I am dying to see you," I told her.

"Okay, I'll be there soon," she said, and I could hear the smile on her face. "Love you."

"Love you too," I said before I hung up the phone.

I turned around to face Naomi. I was going to say sorry for taking the phone call but she was holding my notebook. I wasn't mad. I was more self conscious about the words I had written. "Don't read that," I said.

"Gabe, you should show your dad this. You should start playing again. This is great," she told me.

I sat back down with her, looking over the song she was reading. It was the first song I ever wrote, that survived. Most of the shit I wrote I tossed. But this one...it was the first song I felt. It was the truth.

"I hope you're not mad," I told her. The song was written when I was begging her to be with me. Her name was written all around the edges along with any stupid doodles I did. It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

"Just at myself," she told me. "It really is how I was, I was just to fucked up to see it. 'Who knows how long she can go before she burns away,'" Naomi read.

"I can't be her angel now, you know it's not my place to hold her down, and it's hard for me to take a stand, when I would take her anyway I can," I spoke the next verse to her.

"She comes and goes like no one can, she comes and goes, she's slipping through my hands," Naomi finished. "Really, Gabe. You have all this at your fingertips. Use it." She motioned around to the recoding studio.

"I'm not doing the type of music my Dad records," I told her, taking back my book.

"Maybe he would for you," Naomi smiled.

I wasn't really interested in finding out. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life yet. Although I knew whatever it was, it would include my daughter.

I didn't really want to talk about it anymore. "Hey, when Lo comes, don't be all weird, okay?" I asked. "Like don't ask her how she feels; she hates that." I clarified.

Naomi nodded her understanding.

When Emmett and my dad came back, I told my dad that I had invited Lo. He didn't seem pleased, but he didn't say no. I think he sympathized with me. Plus, he always had mom at the studio while he worked. It was more laid back. There were no customers to deal with. He told me as long as I didn't slack off because she was here it was okay.

Lola texted me when she was in the parking lot. "I'm gonna go out and meet Lo," I said, excusing myself from the room. I grabbed my book, and shoved it in my back pocket as I strolled out to meet her.

I watched Alice pull in the parking lot and come to a stop alongside the sidewalk I stood on waiting. I waved hello as Lola jumped out of the car. Her smile was from ear to ear as she walked towards me.

"God I missed you," I told her as she jumped into my arms, knocking me into the stone wall of the church. I wanted to kiss her, but I wasn't about to put on a show for Alice who was turning around to leave. "Whoa," I laughed. "Be careful."

"Sorry," she said, as I put her safely back on the ground. I could tell that her little run and jump into my arms took a lot out of her. She would never tell me that, though. I pecked her cheek, and once Alice was gone, I kissed her. I wanted to kiss her forever. I missed a week of her sweet wet lips.

"Climb on," I said crouching down. She didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I not only wanted to feel her legs wrapped around me, but I wanted her to conserve her energy.

"What is poking my butt," she asked, as I walked into the church.

"Just my notebook," I told her with a shrug.

Before we went back in the studio I let her down. I didn't want to draw attention to us, so I just took her hand and held the door for her.

Dad and Emmett both said hello to her, skipping the how are you feeling questions – knowing already that Lola hated them.

"Naomi is here?" Lola whispered.

"Yeah...didn't I tell you about it?" I asked.

"About what, exactly?" Lola asked.

"Naomi is recording. I've been helping to promote her and stuff," I shrugged.

"Isn't that weird with everything that's happened?" she questioned me.

"Well, we talked. Things are cool between us. I'm really happy to have her friendship back," I told her.

"Whatever," Lola said coldly.

"Are you mad?" I whispered.

"No," she smiled. It wasn't true, though. She was upset. Jealous, maybe?

"Hey," I said, pulling her close. "I love you. I chose you," I reminded her.

"Gabe," Dad called. "Need you to work," he reminded me.

"No problem," I said. I told Lola to sit down on the couch. "Not much to do, sorry if you end up bored," I told her.

"I'm with you, much else doesn't matter," she said, sitting down. I pulled the notebook out and tossed it on the table where I'd had it before Naomi had looked through it. I went over to my dad to see what he needed me to do as Naomi struggled to sing the next song.

She kept messing up the words and I could see how frustrated she was getting. "I need five minutes," she said after the seventh or eighth failed attempt. She came out annoyed at herself.

"Hey Lola," she said. Lola waved, as I went to sit next to her.

Naomi was talking to Emmett about how she was messing up and he was trying to reassure her. "I just don't like the song," she said. "Gabe?" Naomi said, turning to me, "I can't get that song out of my head that you wrote. It's like distracting me. Would you consider doing it with me?" Naomi asked.

"I don't know, Nay." I told her.

At the same time both Lo and Dad started to question me, "You wrote a song?" I looked at them both, and shrugged.

"Can I see it?" Dad asked.

"It's really good," Naomi added, as I brought him the book.

I went back to sit with Lola. "How come Naomi knew you wrote songs and I didn't?" she whispered, angered.

"Because Naomi is pushy and looks at things without asking," I whispered back, begging her with my eyes not to be mad.

"Gabe, would you do it? This is really good," my dad said.

"It's not Christian," I pointed out.

"That's okay," my dad shrugged. "You could play guitar, it would work well as a duet."

I found it odd that Naomi would be singing about herself, but whatever.

"Please, Gabe," Naomi begged.

"Whatever," I said, giving in.

My dad started to flip through the book more, and there was a new song I wrote that I didn't really want him to read at all about Lola. I yanked the book from him, a bit too late. My almost pornographic song was what he was skimming with his eyes. "I didn't tell you to read the whole thing," I said, responding to his disappointed look.

I went into the studio with Naomi. Dad had already broken it down, saying Naomi should sing the first and second verses, and we should do the chorus together, leaving me to do the last verse and the bridges.

"Thanks, G," Naomi smiled at me when I sat down on the stool with one of my guitars.

"You owe me," I told her, messing with a few of the chords to the song. They weren't exactly simple chords either, and they were also chords that I hadn't played in a long time.

I practiced a few times with Naomi, before we tried to lay it down. I strummed the first few chords and Naomi started to sing.

"_When sky blue gets dark enough; To see the colors of the city lights; A trail of ruby red and diamond white; Hits her like a sunrise_."

I smirked at her because she nailed it. And it suited her voice perfectly. I never would have imagined her singing it, but it worked.

I sang the next part, "_She comes and goes and comes and goes; Like no one can_."

She started in perfectly again on the next verse. "_Tonight she's out to lose herself; And find a high on Peachtree Street; From mixed drinks to techno beats it's always; Heavy into everything_."

I picked up the beat and sang the bridge. "_She comes and goes and comes and goes; Like no one can  
__She comes and goes and no one knows; She's slipping through my hands_."

Next we both sang the chorus, "_She's always buzzing just like; Neon, neon; Neon, neon; Who knows how long, how long, how long; She can go before she burns away._"

I got ready to belt out the last verse. "_I can't be her angel now; You know it's not my place to hold her down; And it's hard for me to take a stand; When I would take her anyway I can_." I followed it up with another bridge of she comes and goes before singing the chorus again with Naomi.

Emmett said it sounded great. Dad of course thought we should do it a few more times just to be safe.

Naomi thanked me with a hug when we were done. I didn't think it was a huge deal to hug her, but when I walked over to Lola, she was sitting on the couch with her arms crossed. "Ready?" I asked.

"Been ready," she said. I could see the anger in her eyes.

"Why are you mad?" I asked her.

"Can we just go?" she asked. I watched her eyes move over to Emmett, Naomi, and my dad, telling me she didn't want to talk about whatever it was in front of them. I could hear Naomi trying to talk my dad into teaching her to play the piano. I wasn't too pleased when he mentioned I might be able to help her with that. I looked back at Lo with a look of regret.

"Fine," I said, grabbing my guitar case. "Hey, we are gonna head out. You don't need me to do anything else, do you?" I asked, holding Lo's hand.

"We are good. Thanks, Gabe," dad told me. "Be good," he warned, waving bye to me and Lola.

Lola and I walked in silence to my car. I took the fact that she was holding my hand as a good sign. She wasn't completely pissed at me.

I shoved the guitar in the back seat and climbed in. Lo again had her arms crossed defensively.

"Are you going to tell me what the problem is?" I asked, pushing the hair out of my eyes.

"You wrote that song about _her,_" Lola told me, looking at me; there wasn't just anger in her eyes there was hurt.

"Yeah, I did. Like months ago. Like before you," I told her. I took out the curled up book and tossed it to her. "Look at the songs in the middle, at the end, they're all about you. I have a past with Naomi. My future is with you," I told her, placing my index finger under her chin.

She nodded at me and her body relaxed. "I didn't mean to upset you," I told her.

"I know," she said holding my hand again.

"When do you have to be home? Nine?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, looking at the clock on the radio. "Can we...go somewhere," she asked, biting her bottom lip.

"Where did you have in mind?" I asked.

"I don't know...somewhere private," she smiled.

"Private, huh," I said. "I think I know a few places," I told her.

I wasn't excited to have sex with Lo in the backseat of my car, but fuck where else did we have to go? Plus, it would be nice to finish from last week.

I pulled into the old race track in Winchester. It was close to the run down orphanage and it was an old creepy part of town, which had served its purpose. Not many people came around. I went around and opened Lo's door, helping her out. There was no way I was making her climb into the back seat. Being a minor sucked. One reason was having to sneak around to have sex. We were going to do it no matter what, why subject us to doing it in the back seat of my car?

Because abstinence is supposed to be the best birth control. I can tell you as an expecting teenage father I still wasn't going to be abstinent. Really fucking safe on the other hand, yes.

I moved the guitar in the front and let Lola climb in first. I slid in after her. "Sorry, it's not the best place," I tried to apologize.

"It's perfect," she smiled. "Figure everyone needs a good story about back seat sex. I'm just glad mine involves you," she said as she straddled my lap. I leaned my head back and nodded at her with a smile as her mouth melted into mine.

**Reviews are always super. Are you all reading Swirl and Daisy? Omg that story is so adorable! You must go read it now! **


	16. Chapter 16 Snake Bite

**SM owns. But not much of this. **

**OwnedByTwins is my Beta. Thanks bb. **

**Just so you know...I am in a funk. I just graduated school. I have to take my state boards. My husband and I are just kinda in a really hard time...and really close to calling it quits. If I take awhile with this or my other stories...bear with me. I have a ton on my plate and on my mind. So. I haven't really been able to write... **

**Snake Bite**

I sat in the studio again, having another late night with Naomi. She was working hard. And I appreciated my Dad giving me the hours to work with her; it really did make a huge difference and helped me feel better about having a baby to support in a matter of months. But I missed Lo. I also had a lot of shit to pull together for Naomi's first show in a few days.

"So, is Lo coming?" Naomi asked.

"If she feels up to it," I told her.

"Cause I invited someone," she told me, twirling her blonde hair.

"Someone?" I asked. "As in a guy?" I tried to clarify.

"Yeah, and he is kinda important to me," she said, sitting Indian style against the studio wall, a few inches away from where I sat on the couch.

"I didn't know you were seeing anyone," I told her, trying not to sound jealous. I shouldn't feel jealous . She wasn't mine. I hadn't chosen her. I had let her go. I was freaking head over heels for Lola. I loved Naomi, but it just wasn't enough.

"I'm not really. I meet him in rehab," she told me. I couldn't help but scoff at that. _Sounds like a real winner_, I thought to myself. "I see that look, G," Naomi scolded me.

"Sorry," I told her, trying to be sincere.

"He was there for me. He became a really good friend to me. It helps to stick together in those places. Not everyone was there for drugs, ya know. It was a lot of different stuff," she explained. "Some of the girls could be really mean. I know I can be a bitch, but I never punched anyone, or felt the need to fight...I never made anyone fear me," she went on.

"Were there people in there like that?" I asked her.

She nodded her head. "And he really stuck by me, ya know? Once we stuck together it wasn't as easy for them to mess with us."

"What was he in there for?" I asked her.

"It's not really my place to tell that to anyone, Gabe," she answered with a hint of regret. We told each other everything.

"He better not fuck with you," I told her. "Or I'll fuck with him," I threatened.

"Gabe, he is a good guy," she assured me.

"That's what they all say," I told her. "You're my best friend. I won't let anyone hurt you."

"I know, Gabe," she smiled at me. I watched as she pushed her hands flat against the ground and pulled her legs out to stand up. She took a few steps toward me and kissed my cheek. "I'll never have a friend as good as you again," she told me; her breasts were at my eye level and I could see down her v neck shirt. I shifted uncomfortably. "Thank you," she said, standing up straight, her fingers brushing the hair out of my eyes.

I cleared my throat, and stood up. "Just being a friend," I told her, trying to avoid eye contact.

I walked across the room, done being here with her for the night. I was honestly scared I might kiss her if I looked at her again. I wanted to kick myself for feeling that way. It had to be my old feelings. Old habit. "So, I think we did enough tonight. I have a long day tomorrow. Evie has an appointment after school. So I won't get here till like six." I told Naomi, putting on my jacket. I didn't bother to look at her as she said bye. I could hear the confusion in her tone over my quick escape.

I pulled into Lo's driveway to see her waiting patiently for me on her front patio. I got out of the car and walked to the passenger side door, opening it for her. As she walked briskly towards me I smiled widely at her. "Hey," I said, giving her a kiss.

"Hey," she muttered, getting in the car.

"Gabe, drive safe," I heard Alice call out.

"Always," I assured her. Lola and I hadn't gotten to go out much lately. She normally didn't feel well enough to handle a night out. I told her she didn't have to come tonight. It was Naomi's first show and I had to help out, plus do that one song with her.

I didn't miss the fact that Lola was still insecure when it came to my friendship with Naomi. I knew she didn't feel well enough to come out tonight, but also knew she didn't feel like being left out.

"Can we go?" she asked, annoyed.

"Yup," I said, shutting her door. I waved bye to Alice and climbed back in the car, pulling out onto the street. "You didn't have to come tonight," I pointed out, letting her know I didn't miss the fact that she was in a sour mood over it.

"And done what? Stayed home and thought about all the ways Naomi was going to flirt with you?" she scoffed, crossing her arms. "No, thank you."

"I'm glad you're coming, I just don't want you to wear yourself out because of Naomi. We are just friends. You have to trust me," I told her, taking her hand.

"I do trust you, it's her I don't trust," Lola said.

"But she can try anything she wants to try, she needs me to agree in order to hurt you, and I am not going to do that to you," I told her. "Please...trust me?" I asked her. It was hard to ask her that since just a few nights ago I had hardly trusted myself.

I held Lo's hand in mine as I walked a few steps ahead of her into the coffee house. I saw my Dad, Mom, Emmett and Rose sitting around a high table talking. Mom noticed us right away. She smiled warmly at us and motioned for us to come over.

"Hey," I said, giving my mom a hug as she stood up.

"Hi, sweetie," she said, kissing my cheek. I really hated when she acted like that with me, especially in public. I heard Lo snicker. "Lola, so nice to see you. Ho-" I gave my mom a pointed look. I had told her; under no circumstances was she to ask Lola how she was doing. She zipped her mouth, and hugged Lola hello.

"Do you want something?" I whispered to against Lo's head.

"Chi tea," she said, looking up at me.

I nodded at her before kissing her cheek and heading over to order her drink. I stood behind another guy that looked about my age, maybe a little older. His hair was long in the front but short in the back, and his face was unshaven; I could see the snake bite piercings he had when he turned to check out a girl that walked by after she got her drink. He looked like he tried to look messy if that was at all possible. I watched him yank up his jeans just for them to fall back down causing the metal chains that hung from the pockets to rattle.

"Next," the cashier called, letting Snake Bite know it was time for him to order, not check out all the girls.

I rolled my eyes at the guy who obviously thought he was God's gift. That is when I saw her. Her smile was huge, her eyes held excitement as she approached me. She walked over in her jeans that were tight in all the right places, strategically ripped and discolored. Her shirt was long and flowed out under her breasts. I mentally kicked myself for thinking about her breasts, and how nice her legs looked.

As she got closer, I went to say hello, but the smile she held wasn't intended for me. It was for Snake Bite.

What the fuck! Was this asshat the guy she had told me about? Oh, hell fucking no.

He turned and handed her the drink he had ordered, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Gabe," she said, pulling away from Snake Bite.

"Nay," I smiled in return, and hugged her. I don't know why the fuck I felt possessive over her, but I did.

"This is Van; Van, this is my best friend Gabe," Naomi introduced.

"It's nice to meet you, Fan," I said, extending my hand to shake his.

"It's Van, with a V, like Van Morrison" he corrected me. Only I knew what Naomi had said, I was just fucking with him.

"Can I help you?" the cashier asked me, annoyed.

"Yeah, a chi tea, please," I asked for Lo's drink, before turning my attention back to Naomi, and Snake Bite. "Uh, right. Van." I pretended to care, but I think I was pretty transparent.

Naomi shot me a look full of daggers. I just shrugged at her as I took Lo's tea off the counter and headed back to her.

"He looks a bit rough, but he is a good kid," I heard Emmett telling my mom and dad. I could only assume he was talking about Snake Bite. I couldn't believe Emmett wasn't flipping out over Naomi bringing that creep home. "Every time we went to visit her, he was always looking out for her; I really think they could help each other out."

"Here," I said, handing Lo her tea. I sat down at the table next to my parents, scowling at the way Emmett was talking about Naomi's new boyfriend. Yeah, like two people trying to recover could be fucking good for each other. Even I knew that shit wasn't right.

Lola's back was to me and I think she could tell I was annoyed. I didn't want to make her more uncomfortable with everything. I noticed that as Naomi and Snake Bite approached us Lo's posture stiffened.

I snaked my arm around her waist and pulled her flush against me, letting her lean into me. She put her drink down on the table, and I could see her smile as I moved my lips below her ear. "Stay close to me, babe," I whispered before I gently bit into her ear lobe.

When I looked up to see Naomi she was staring daggers at me. Snake bite was holding Naomi's hand innocently as he kissed Emmett's ass. Shit, Emmett was a scary guy if you didn't know him. I kissed his ass and I wasn't even fucking his daughter...anymore.

The thought of Naomi fucking him...let's just say I think I got a bit too angry over the idea as I held Lola in my arms.

It was completely fucking possible to love two people at once. Because I did. Two completely different girls. I was in love with them both. But I'd had to make a choice. I'd chosen Lola. It wasn't fair to Naomi to act like a jealous asshole and keep her from finding happiness with someone else, even if it stung like a bitch.

Lola spun around in my arms; wrapping her arms around my neck, she smiled at me coyly as she brushed some hair out of my eyes. "What?" I smirked at her, enjoying the way she felt between my knees.

"Just thinking about how lucky I am...to have such a great boyfriend," she said, trailing her finger down my jaw line.

"Yeah, I am pretty awesome," I joked with her.

"Ah huh," she nodded as she moved her face closer to mine. I couldn't hold back the urge I had to kiss her. I normally wouldn't kiss a girl in front of my parents, but I didn't give a fuck. What were they going to tell me to do, knock it off? It's not as if they don't know Lo and I do much more than kiss.

It's not like we got to have sex much as it was anyway. Between her just not feeling good, me being grounded, and the strict rules our parents had, it was damn near impossible. I was dying to do more with her... more intimate things.

I wasn't really sure how to ask in a respectable way for head. But the next time we had a chance to be alone, I wanted to taste her. Not to be repaid or anything, but because I want to go down on her. The thought alone of sucking on her clit, fucking her with my tongue, made my dick get hard.

I pulled her even closer against me, my hardness pressed against her stomach as my tongue dominated her mouth. I hadn't even paid attention to the fact that my one hand had wandered and held tightly to her ass.

I heard a throat clear and it was unmistakable that it was my father. Lo pulled away quickly, wiping the corners of her mouth. Her face was red as she tried to hide in my side. She was so fucking adorable. I just laughed and nuzzled my face in the crook of her neck.

"Gabe, why don't you go with Naomi and help her set up? Since you are here _working_ tonight," my father reminded me.

"No problem," I smirked at him. "I'll be back," I told Lo with a peck on her nose.

I turned my gaze to Naomi, who was laughing with Snake Bite. "Ready?" I asked, a bit annoyed. I knew what I was annoyed at and it wasn't fair. Not to her, not to me, and certainly not to Lo.

"Yeah," she nodded at me. She turned back to Snake Bite and hugged him. He wished her luck and when she turned to leave he pulled her back to him. He kissed her. She tried to pull away with a laugh, and I huffed, showing my annoyance. She turned and glared at me, as did Lola.

"I don't have all night. I got a job to do." It's not complete bullshit. Naomi's hand lingered in his until their arms weren't long enough to stay connected. I walked ahead quickly, not caring to see her turn back to that fucker with a look of longing in her eyes.

I knew it was fucked up. I felt like an awful person for feeling this way. I had Lola, I chose Lola. I loved Lola. I would do anything for her, but I couldn't stop this jealousy I felt burning its way to the surface when I see saw or heard about Naomi with someone else.

It was not like I am was going to leave Lo, or dump her because of my feelings for Naomi. That was not a thought that had even crossed my mind. I hated myself for feeling so conflicted. I shouldn't have been jealous over Naomi moving on. But the guy was a loser. He didn't deserve her. She deserved better. He wasn't good enough for her.

What exactly was better for Naomi? What was good enough?

_Me. I am so fucked._

I had to get over her. I knew I loved her. It wasn't like I realized I didn't love her. I realized it wasn't enough. It was not fucking fair to any of us for me to act like some jealous prick. I needed to let her move on and be happy. I couldn't expect her to not live her life.

I wanted her to be happy. And to find someone fucking worthy of her. And he was not even a fraction of the man she was worthy of. The problem had to be him, coupled with my feelings. If he was good enough, I would want her to be happy.

Because I did want that for her. Happiness. If he was decent I wouldn't feel this upset over it. I don't really know if I am making excuses for myself or it's the truth. I hope it's the truth. Otherwise I was the biggest asshole in the universe.

I began to set up her mike stand in aggravation behind the black curtain. "What is your problem?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"I don't like him," I told her flatly.

"You don't even know him, Gabe!" she defended him. I shouldn't have been surprised. She wasn't going to dump him just because I didn't like him.

"I know what his kind of guy he is like. I watched him check out half the coffee house before you came up to him in line," I told her.

"Stay out of it, okay? I am happy for the first time in a long time, and a lot of that has to do with Van."

I put my hands up in surrender. I was not going to fight a battle I couldn't win. A battle I shouldn't even be fighting in the first place. "I just want the best for my best friend," I told her.

"Well, I want my best friend to trust me. To get to know my boyfriend before passing judgment on him," she told me.

"Listen, he hasn't made a good impression on me so far, okay? I just am trying to be your friend and give you my honest opinion. Take it, or leave it," I shrugged.

"Fine," she said, bending down to help me set up. She looked over at me with a knowing smile on her face. "Try not to act so jealous around your girlfriend; it doesn't really put you in the running for boyfriend of the year."

"I'm not jealous, Nay," I said, hoping it wasn't a lie. "I just want the best for you, and I don't think he's it. Not even close," I told her. I hoped that was the reason behind the way I was feeling like ripping his limbs from his body whenever he touched her. Just me being protective of my best friend.

Who the fuck was I kidding? I was fucking jealous. I had no right to be jealous.

**Reviews always are good inspiration. I can't promise that it will work...but it can't hurt. And I won't give up. **


	17. Chapter 17 Goals

**SM owns, not me. **

**Okay, here it is. I don't have much to say. **

I sat in my room working on my homework. I wasn't concentrating much on it though. Naomi was IM-ing me on the computer and Lola was texting me. Plus, my dad had been on my case about the way I acted around Naomi. My brain was on overload. I couldn't take much more.

Lola had to go in for a treatment tomorrow, and I liked to go with her. Just to keep her company as the drugs dripped in her line. Most days, I got the job of holding her hair back while she threw up in a god awful yellow basin. I hated to see her like that, but I couldn't stand the thought of not being there for her. Of course Either Jasper or Alice were always there as well. It's not like she'd be alone, but I wanted to be there for her.

The hospital staff was getting to know me better between the time I spent there with Lo and the time I spent there with Evie.

A knock on my door averted my attention from the response I was about to send Lola. "It's open," I said in annoyance. I figured it was Zoe, she liked to hassle me about this time every night.

I looked up to see Evie coming through my door. She pulled down her shirt trying to fix it over her belly. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," I said getting up to move some clothes out of the way for her to sit. "have a seat," I offered before I asked her what was going on.

"I got accepted into this program next year to study in Italy," she told me nervously. I knitted my eyebrows together in confusion. She wasn't actually considering going to Italy with a newborn baby?

"I don't understand," I told her shaking my head.

"I've been taking Italian since I was little. It's been my dream to go there and study for a year...I applied for Junior year...but I didn't get in. however I got accepted for Senior year."

"What about the baby?" I asked, like she had forgotten she was pregnant.

"I'll only be gone nine months," she said.

"She won't even know me, you can't just take her to Italy for the first nine months of her life," I told her getting worked up. I wasn't ready to be a father, but I wasn't about to let her leave with my daughter.

"Gabe...I wasn't planning on taking her with me...I was thinking you could take care of her...with your mom's help... I can't not go." she pleaded.

"What?" I asked trying to get her to clarify what she was getting at. "You're just going to leave your child for nine months?"

"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity..." she tried to defend herself.

"So is witnessing your child grow up," I pointed out.

A tear escaped her tightly clenched eyes, "I know that," she said through gritted teeth. "It's not going to be easy, but you can send me pictures and do webcam stuff with her and we both can create Skype accounts to talk and for me to see her...and...and... I need to do this Gabe. I don't have money saved for college like you. The only way I can go is if I got a scholarship. And I need this to help me achieve that...so I can provide her with a good life. Its only nine months to do something amazing that could help me make her life better in the long run, but it will open many doors that will make her life better in the future...I just...I need your help. It's not easy for me to do this or to ask you to take care of her yourself..."

"Evie...I wouldn't _not_ take care of her. Even if you walked away and never looked back...I'd take care of her."

"Promise? Cause it's really hard for me to do this," she said through her tears. "I know you will take care of her. Just promise me you will, while I'm gone?" She asked swiping her hand across her cheek.

"I swear. And I won't let you miss anything, okay?" I assured her. "I'll videotape and all that shit. Everyday."

Evie nodded as I went to hug her. "I'll have the summer with her...and I'll be back just in time for her first birthday I hope..."

"It'll work out." I said scared shitless. It was one thing when I thought Evie would be here with me to help...in my house. With my mom and dad...but she's not. She's gonna leave.

She told me for as long as she could remember that she wanted to study abroad then go to Northwestern or Notre Dame to major in Italian. How she always pictured herself doing volunteer work or missionary work for a summer, maybe even joining the Peace Corps. But all that changed when she found out she was pregnant.

I couldn't believe how little I knew about her. How little I realized that her life got flipped upside down in a blink of an eye. She had dreams and aspirations...while all I was worried about was getting laid and playing basketball. I had no goals like she did. She thought about her future...and it was wiped away in one careless night with a boy she thought loved her.

How could I make her feel bad about living out part of her dream? I mean God, what would happen if she did go to Northwestern or some fancy school...would she leave our daughter with me? Probably not. She'd probably take my daughter with her and leave me behind. Leaving me to send her money every month, and a few weeks out of the year with Lula.

The future began to look like foreign territory to me. I started to realize how little I knew. How little I had figured out, and I started to have the fear of losing my daughter to some dreams that I couldn't keep Evie from fulfilling if she was strong enough to do it as a single mother.

I wanted to ask Evie all these questions about the future...but I was scared to know the answers. She had enough going on. It was just a bunch of questions I would have to let fester below the surface for now. I just wasn't sure how to plan the future for myself, and now I had to take into consideration Evie and our daughter.

I had to consider what Evie wanted if we wanted to raise Lula together. All I knew for sure, was that I would want to be a part of her life. I would always be there for her. Even if it meant having to move. Both schools were about a four hour drive in opposite directions. But it was still too far for me to be from my daughter.

What if she got hurt? Or was in the hospital? I didn't want to be four hours away from being by her side if she needed me. I figured if I started working my ass off now to make sure I got good grades I could get into those schools too, if I wanted. I don't know where that left Lola...but I knew I needed to put the baby first.

Because...Fuck...she wasn't just a baby. She was my kid, and _she_ had a name. Lucille Isabella Cullen.

What's so fucked up, is I spent all this time and energy on my feelings for Lo and Naomi, and I should have been focusing on getting my future on track and becoming a father, because there was still so much shit I had to figure out.

So, I started working my ass off. I needed extracurricular activities on my record, so I joined a few clubs. Some Peer Helpers club or some shit that my Dad suggested. He said I have been through a lot and could probably help a lot of kids. I guess it was cool since it was something like my mom did. I had to do this training before I could help, but once I was trained I would only have to stay after two days a week for anyone that wanted to come and talk.

Then, my dad let me back on the basketball team. I told him all about Evie's plans, and that I couldn't just let her take my daughter four hours away for four years. He understood, and was happy that I was making plans for my future. Plus, Northwestern had a pretty awesome basketball team. If I was lucky enough I could get a scholarship to play for them. But I'd have to kick ass on my SAT's and keep my GPA as close to 4.0 as I could.

My mom and dad came to the rescue again; they got me into a kick ass SAT prep program. See, Evie was smart as shit. She already had a 4.0, and took all advanced classes. I was just in regular classes, but I knew I would need to transfer out of them and into advanced placement. It's not like I couldn't take those classes, I just chose to be lazy.

I couldn't do that anymore. Not if I wanted to get into Northwestern, which was Evie's first choice. I talked to her about it, letting her know my intentions. She told me I didn't have to do it for her. But I wasn't doing it for her. I was doing it for my daughter and she couldn't argue with that.

I sat at the studio with my advanced placement work to catch up on, while I tried to work, and keep Lola content. It wasn't fucking easy.

Lo knew I had a lot of shit going on, and I knew she was trying not to be bummed about not seeing me as much but I could tell she was getting upset. I didn't have thirty hours a day which is what I needed if I wanted to fit everything in. It was making us fight a lot. I'd be the one to start it; telling her I couldn't help it that she was sick and couldn't come hang out, then I'd feel like a dick and apologize. But with all the time I spent building my way out of Winchester, I didn't even see it was burying my girlfriend alive.

Thankfully, I worked for my father and kept my study hall. My study hall that I use to spend bullshitting, I now spent freaking studying. Who the hell would have thought?

Naomi walked in gaining my attention. I smiled at her until _he_ came in behind her. I think I may have growled upon seeing him.

"Gabe, you want to work on a song with me tonight?" Naomi asked, as her hand swung gently in Snake Bites.

"I can't do anymore songs with you, Nay. I got way too much going on. I'm sorry," I told her, even though I wasn't that sorry. I just wanted to focus on basketball, school, my job, my daughter, and Lo. I couldn't spend time on music with Naomi. Not with my feelings all over the place, or the lack of quality time I had to give to Lo. If I took time to work with Naomi it took time away from Lola and that just wasn't right.

"Since when do you care about college?" Naomi asked looking at all my new books.

"Since I'm gonna have kid to take care of," I told her.

"That's awesome G. you're like a whole new person." She smiled at me. I couldn't even look up at her cause I couldn't stand to see _him_ with her.

"Yeah, dude, I can't even imagine becoming a father right now," Snake Bite added.

_Focus on what the fuck matters, and your jealousy is wasted energy._ I tried to remind myself.

"Well, Van's just gonna chill in the back while I work on a few songs. Are you helping me tonight?"

"Ah...I don't think so...My dad asked me to work on a few things he has coming up with his new album," I explained. In all honesty, I asked my dad to limit the time I had to spend with Naomi.

She was my best friend, and I was avoiding her. It sucked. But maybe we couldn't be just friends. I was attracted to her and I couldn't hide it...and I didn't choose her.

"Too bad. Maybe next time," she said before taking Snake Bite to the couch in the back to wait for her.

I grabbed my shit unable to be in such close proximity with them and went into my dad's office where he was talking shop with Emmett.

I huffed as I sat down in the empty seat next to Emmett placing my books down on my dad's desk.

"Naomi's here," I announced. "With what's his name."

My dad and Emmett shared a laugh, probably at my expense. "I don't get it Emmett. You shouldn't let her around him. He is bad news." I told Emmett looking him right in the eyes.

"Gabe, I learned a very valuable lesson while Naomi was away. The more I tell her no, the more she wants it. And really, he is a good kid. Rough on the outside, but good heart, kinda reminds me of another kid that I once knew."

"Hey Gabe, I thought you didn't want to be with Naomi, you broke up with her. You're with Lola. You can't have it both ways, kid." dad told me.

"I know. I know." I huffed.

"If you love her, you'll just want her to be happy. If Van makes her happy right now just be happy for her," dad added.

"So, is it the possibility of losing her to someone else all of a sudden what makes her so attractive?" Emmett asked. I just shrugged.

"You know what I think? I think you were okay when you dumped her for Lola since she was alone. But now that she's moved on your struggling. You never really had a chance to get over her and now since she moved on and got over you the reality of losing her has hit you...Gosh I don't miss being sixteen," Emmett said with a chuckle. It made sense.

I did the only thing I could do. I sucked it up. I focused on the shit I needed to focus on. Life was hard. And it didn't stop. Not for anyone.

Months passed. Lola was in what they called a recovery phase of her chemo. She would have to start the treatment phase again. There was no way to deny Evie was pregnant. She wasn't huge, only her stomach and I lived for the days I got to feel the baby move or see some body part poke out of her stomach. I was doing well in my advanced classes. I was saving tons of money. Naomi was still with Snake Bite...they were kind of nauseating. Going to NA meetings together once a week, but he turned out to be a good guy. Even a friend.

After I accepted that I had no right to be possessive or jealous of Naomi and her relationship, and Lola began to feel better, we started hanging out. It's not like I could hang out a lot, I had so much going on with work, school, and basketball.

The school year was almost over, and I was so thankful...and so scared. Evie was due in six weeks and she moved in. I was happy to be getting some time back to myself, but I knew it wouldn't be much because I was going to be father in a matter of weeks.

I was on track to finish out the year with a 4.0 grade point average. I was excited. The thought of getting to go away for college felt good. I was heading into my senior year, and Evie and I were going to apply for early admission to Northwestern, because we both kicked ass on our SAT's when we took them a few months ago.

My mom was stunned when I showed her my score of twenty four hundred, apparently they changed the scoring system, and a high score in her day was like fifteen hundred. Either way, this junior year of high school, I kicked ass in once I started to apply myself.

We were favored to win the basketball state championships, and somehow Jasper started to help me put together a highlight reel, and we hoped to get a scout from Northwestern there to check me out. My life was coming together, except for the forced smiles Lola gave me whenever we talked about Northwestern. And she would really explode if I so much as mentioned she shouldn't do something because she was sick.

Everything was set for Lula. She got a ton of clothes and shit from the baby shower my mom threw for Evie. I was anxious about all of it, cause I knew my life would change drastically when she was born, and then again when Evie left for Italy and I had to juggle everything I took on at school, and Lula.

"You okay?" Lola asked as we sat in her basement watching a movie.

"Yeah," I lied.

"I know you. What are you thinking about?" she asked, calling my bluff.

"How much my life is going to change in a few weeks. I'm really excited to meet her, ya know? But I'm so afraid. What if I suck?" I explained, messing with her short black hair that started to grow back.

It was nice to have her looking healthier, more herself. I was just happy she didn't seem to need a bone marrow transplant. It wasn't as if she was out of the woods but it was hope. She didn't say shit or allude to the fact that she was handed a death sentence anymore.

"You are gonna be great Gabe, the best thing you can do is love her, and you already do. You're gonna be a great father." she assured me. "Don't over think it."

"Oh, you want to provide a distraction?" I asked raising my eyebrows suggestively at her. Sex definitely was not something in our lives. I don't think one can have sex three times in six months and call that a sex life.

Honestly I had more sex when I was single. I wasn't complaining though. She was sick, which again was a problem if I tried to progress it further. "Gabe, I don't feel up to that," she would say. I mean I understood. I stopped, I may have sighed a few times at the hard on that would have to wait for release when I got home, but I don't think I ever made her feel bad about it. I knew sometimes just talking made her exhausted.

She nodded at me as she brought her bottom lip between her teeth. She climbed on me straddling me as she kissed me with her mouth open, grinding her hips against my now very hard dick.

"Is it working?" she asked, pulling off her shirt.

I nodded enthusiastically as I palmed her breasts. I slipped my hand between us and under the waist band of her grey yoga pants. I rubbed circles over her sensitive bud as my mouth attacked her tits, and her hips moved over my dick.

"Lola," I breathed heavily into her ear hoping not to offend her when I asked her what I couldn't deny needing so bad right now.

"Hmmm," she said as she continued to rub against me.

"I want to feel your mouth on my dick," I told her. She stilled on my lap. "You don't have to if you don't want to," I added, hoping I didn't upset her.

"I just...I don't know...how," she said shyly.

"I can coach you...if you want," I told her kissing her neck.

"Um...yeah, sure," she said nervously climbing off my lap.

I undid my jeans and brought out my very excited dick. I stroked him a few times as Lola got in a comfortable position.

"The head is really sensitive, and you can put your one hand here," I showed her placing her hand at the base of my dick, "and then um...just stroke up and down in sync with your mouth." I explained.

Lola swirled her tongue around the tip of the head, making me hiss. It took no time at all for her to get the courage up to take me in her mouth.

"Fuck...that's hot... ughh soooo good," I moaned. I loved watching her move her mouth up and down the shaft of my dick while she held on to the base and swirled her tongue at the head every few passes.

It didn't take long for me to explode inside her mouth. I tried to warn her, but she said she wanted to taste me. Once those words left her lips, I was a goner.

"I love you," I told her as I laid her down on the couch to bring her pleasure with my tongue.

She moaned in pleasure as my tongue flicked quickly over her clit. I would let my teeth graze the sensitive area as my fingers moved inside her. I switched it up, letting my tongue divide her lips and move inside her as my fingers swirled in circles over her clit.

I used my tongue to lick long strokes up and down, sucking on her lips, her clit, and tasting her inside my mouth as she shook with pleasure beneath me.

"Oh shit, oh shit," she started to chant in a hushed voice as my fingers and tongue moved against her. She never cursed so I knew I was driving her nuts. She ran her fingers through my hair before taking a hold of it and pulling my face hard into her. I hummed against her, getting hard again. She was never this aggressive and it was turning me on. She moved my head with her grip on my hair at the pace she wanted me to use.

I had three fingers deep inside of her as she came with muffled moan. Her walls clenching around my fingers in spasms of pleasure.

I kissed my way back up her body and kissed her sweetly on her mouth. It made me even harder knowing that she was tasting herself on me. "I want you inside me," she breathed, handing me a condom she took out of my wallet.

"You taste so good," I told her tasting my fingertip. She took my other two fingers in her mouth and began to suck and lick them mimicking what she did to my dick earlier. I pushed myself inside of her and told her over and over again how much I loved her.

After that night, I thought we found ourselves again.

**Teasers for reviews, just ask. Next chapter is written and it gets bumpy. But in a few more chapters...we are gonna have more E and B. Gabe's gonna leave for school and time isn't going to go so slowly anymore, and I need E and or B to show us what's happening with Lo, while Gabe is away. So chapters will either be split between 2 pov's or alternate. Let me know what you prefer. You have waited so nicely for E and B to be more central while I laid down Gabe's story. Thank you soooo much! I love that you guys read this and love these kids I created! **


	18. Chapter 18 It Ends then Begins

**SM Owns. Not me. **

**I didn't get this beta'd. So, excuse any mistakes. And I need to thank Dawson's Creek. **

Three weeks ago, Lo and I got in a huge fight It was a few nights after the epic blow job and when all I could say to her was how much I loved her. I had been a jerk. I said I was sorry, but it still lingered in the air between us. It was like a crack in our relationship. Ever since then I tried to stay away from it, afraid to cause more damage. I needed to avoid it though, because it made us unsteady.

Jasper told me I should record some basketball ball games for my highlight tape in my hopes to get accepted on a basketball ball scholarship. Being a Wildcat was a dream I never even considered, but I knew that I was pursuing it, I wanted it more than ever.

Lola came to all my games. I had given her the small video camera and told her how to use it. I had an amazing game. I scored the most points, I worked with my team, I scored the game winning basket from the three point line, winning state championships.

My team surrounded me and we celebrated on the court. When I saw Lola, she ran to me on the court. I picked up her little body and spun her around while she kissed me all over my face.

Later on when we were leaving, I asked to see the camera. The tape was blank. Nothing. "Lo, where is it?" I asked. "Are you sure this is the right tape?"

"Yeah, I only had one. What's wrong?" she asked.

"There's nothing on it, was the little red dot on?" I asked her.

"I..ah..I don't remember a red light..." Lo said furrowing her eyebrows.

"WHAT? Lo, it's common sense the red dot would be there to confirm you were recording, it's like a fucking reminder. It says, 'Oh do you mean to still be recording this?' Or 'hey do you know I'm not recording?'"I yelled. "This game was my ticket! And I have nothing to show for it! How could you forget to push record?"

"I'm sorry! It was a mistake!" she yelled back at me.

"Did you do this on purpose?" I asked, because really it's kind of dense to not know your not recording something, and every time we talked about Northwestern she got all weird. No matter how much I promised her things wouldn't change.

"Excuse me?" Lola asked, crossing her arms.

"You don't want me to leave. You don't want me going off to college...is this your way of telling me that?" I accused her.

"You are kidding right? I hope you don't think that little of me Gabe! That I would sabotage my boyfriend!"

The next day, I told her how sorry I was. It was a mistake. I had other great games to send. She told me it was okay, but things haven't been the same since.

I was standing out front of Lo's house. I was scared. I had been calling her and texting her, and the nothing. I was starting to get worried that something bad happened.

I knocked on the door, because I could tell they were home. Jasper answered the door giving me a look that said "what the heck are you doing here?"

"Lola home?" I asked him.

"In her room reading," Jasper told me stepping aside to let me in. "door open," he warned like I needed to be reminded of his rules, I had been living with them for almost nine months.

I rushed up the stairs, feeling like an ass. But why the fuck couldn't she call me back? Shoot me a text?

I knocked on the door, "It's open," she called out. I pushed open the door, and she gave me the same look her father did moments ago.

"Hey, I was kinda freaked out when you didn't answer any of my calls," I explained to her.

"Oh...I was just wrapped up in this book," she told me holding up a book with ivory hands that held an apple.

All of a sudden I felt like I was three inches tall. I was standing in her room and it was silent, strange, not at all welcoming. I knew how much she hated this question, but I had to fucking ask, "Everything okay?" I didn't mean it in regards to her health, which she always assumed. I meant between us.

She shook her head no, and my heart fucking sank. I felt like I was going to lose my dinner all over her room. She was being so distant. It all started when Jasper started to help me put shit together for Northwestern.

The past few days every time Naomi and Van invited us out, she said no. Sometimes I went without her, and ended up feeling like a third wheel. I wouldn't dare ask her if everything was alright. Each time I did she snapped on me.

She hardly touched me, and pulled away whenever I touched her. Now, she wasn't calling me back.

She smiled at me and patted the bed next to her. I shook my head no, "Just tell me." I choked out.

"Come sit," she asked me again with that damn pity filled smile. I was overcome with a feeling of dread. She was pulling away because she didn't want to be with me anymore.

"Take off the mask, Lo. Be real with me please." I begged her.

She couldn't hold eye contact with me and she looked away. The side of her index finger swiped away tears.

"You want me to take off the happy mask? Then the happy mask is off." She whispered. But when she spoke again, she raised her voice. "So, now answer me this one question Gabe, why are you with me? Why are you with me? Cause I don't know why I'm still with you. I used to know, but now I don't know anymore. What I do know, I feel like I'm Gabe Cullen's little charity project. I feel like I'm the designated loser."

"This isn't about me..." I shook my head in disbelief. This was about her being afraid. Of not wanting anyone's help or pity. Maybe even afraid of what the next year held when I had Lula or when I left for college.

"No, it is about you. It's about you and how you make me feel when I'm with you! I feel like I'm stupid, I'm worthless, I'm never right! You know what I realize? It's not my fault! When I'm with you it's "poor Lo, she's too sick to go out," or "Lo can't fuck me cause she's too sick," or "stupid Lo, she forgot to push record when I scored the winning basket for my tape to Northwestern"

"I told you I don't care about any of that!" I yelled at her.

"But I want you to care! I don't want you to accept it like it's supposed to be. I can't take it anymore Gabe. When I'm with you, I feel like I'm nothing. That's why I flinch when you touch me. That's why I never touch you, why I never think about it. Because when I do, it just reminds me that I'm not good enough!"

Where the fuck did this come from? Did I really make her feel like she wasn't good enough? I was beyond pissed. How the hell could she think that of me?

"You done?" I seethed.

"No, I'm just getting started." she shoot back at me through gritted teeth.

"Well, you can stop right now. You can go to hell!" I told her storming out of her room and slamming the door behind me.

"Yo, yo, yo, hold up," Jasper stopped me at the top of the steps. "What the hell's going on?" he asked me.

"Ask your daughter. She broke up with me," I said pushing past him.

"Gabe!" he called after me. I stopped at the landing and looked back up at him. "Couples fight all the time, you guys will work it out,"

"No, I don't think so," I told him. I wasn't sure why he was being so nice to me. I felt like an ass. I just told his daughter to go to hell, and there is a chance she could die. He must not of heard me say that, just her door slam.

Six months ago, I would have gotten in my car and ran to my dealer to get high, or stolen some booze from Liam's parents to get wasted.

I was one year away from a dream I didn't realize I even had. Something that I worked hard and fast for. I wasn't going to let Lola dumping me mess any of that up.

I was going to go home and help Evie organize baby clothes or whatever task she was taking on tonight. My mom called it nesting. Whatever it was, it would take my mind off of Lo.

XXXXXXXXXXX

School ended. My seventeenth birthday came and went. I didn't speak to or see Lola. Jasper came over a few times looking at me all sad. His eyes saying how sorry he was his daughter broke my heart. It didn't help that my mom and him would tell me she was upset too. If she was so fucking sad about losing me, why wasn't she just with me?

They were convinced it had to do with the way my life was changing.

She never confirmed that, so I just felt like an asshole. An ass who was too blind to see I was making my girlfriend feel like crap.

I threw myself into work. I even recorded a song by myself. Inspiration always comes with heartbreak.

Next thing I knew, I was in a labor and delivery room with Evie...waiting for our daughter to be born. Thank Mary and Joseph she asked my mom to be in there with us, because I don't think I could have handled it by myself.

"You okay?" I asked, cause I knew she was having a contraction from the monitor. It spiked high with each one.

"I want that freakin' epidural," she spoke through gritted teeth, as she squeezed my hand.

She was so afraid of the long needle going into her back, but she was welcoming it now. It must feel pretty awful.

"I know, I told the nurse, she paged them," I hoped it was enough to ease her through this contraction. I knew to expect another one in four minutes and about ten seconds.

We had to leave when they gave her the epidural. I stood outside with my Dad. "I don't want to go back in," I said to him.

He laughed, and he patted my back leading me back inside the room. Promising the best was yet to come.

My mom thought it was amazing, she had c-sections so she was so excited to be in the room for a "vaginal birth." I shuddered at the words.

Six hours later, I found myself holding Evie's left leg while the nurse coached her on how and when to push. My mom held her other leg.

"Gabe, look, baby...her head!" mom exclaimed. I had been avoiding actually looking down _there_.

It was like a bad accident you can't not look, so I let my eyes wander between her legs.

There it is a head...coming out of a hole that at one time felt really tight on my cock. And it was covered in dark hair and blood. I didn't know if I was grossed out or amazed.

With the next push, I saw her face. Her chubby cheeks, and button nose. Her lips were full like Evies and were in a perfect O. "Evie, she is beautiful. Perfect," I whispered in her ear. I couldn't help it, tears welled up in my eyes. My smile was wide, and I never felt more happiness.

Giving birth is all intense and magical and stuff, but the act itself is not exactly pleasant. But it's also a beginning of something incredible, something new, something unpredictable, something true, something worth loving, something worth missing,...something that will change my life forever.

I looked at my mom, and she was crying. Then, with one last push, she was out.

They placed her on Evies chest, and we both smiled at this beautiful child we created, that I would never in a million years call a mistake again. I placed a kiss on Evies forehead and wiped the tears on her cheeks.

They brought her over all swaddled and clean with a hat. "Go ahead, Dad," Evie smiled, telling the nurse to hand me the baby. I never held a baby. Ever. I took her in my arms making sure to hold her neck because that is what everyone always says, and I held my daughter.

It occurred to me in that moment, that I was responsible not only for the baby, but also for Evie. The weight of that revelation was...crippling.

Two days later, Evie and Lula were discharged from the hospital. I had gotten a text message from Lo that simply read _congratulations_. I deleted it.

Naomi stopped by the day we got home. She engulfed me in a huge hug then went to fawn over the baby.

"She is so adorable, G!" Naomi exclaimed, kissing her bare feet.

In the hospital I learned how to change a diaper, burp her, bathe her, swaddle her...nothing and I mean nothing prepared me for how many diapers, how much spit up, and how many onesies we went through. Not to mention the lack of sleep.

And these baby clothes with all these buttons, I didn't know if they made things easier or more complicated because I never lined them up right.

How did we expect to care for this new life, go to school, earn money, and then I expected to play basketball? My mom and dad kept telling me it would be hard, but if we wanted it bad enough we could go away to college and do all those things. It was hard enough at home, with the help they gave us, not only emotionally but financially.

Were they high?

Evie said she would work while in college, and I would work. And they had family housing that she said her and Lula could stay in while I stayed in the dorms. My dad even said he would be willing to rent us an apartment. My biggest fear, was finding a job. I had it so easy working for my dad.

As if I would have much time left in my day for a job, between classes and basketball. I was falling in love with this little girl, and I didn't want to miss a moment of her life.

Even Evie wasn't sure she would be able to follow through with her dream to go away for the year.

Evie was sleeping, and it was the middle of the night. I got up with Lula. I feed her. I changed her diaper. I rocked her. I bounced her. I put her in every contraption we had available, and she still screamed. Finally, I was saved. By my mommy.

"I don't know what I'm doing Ma, I can't do this," I told her cradling Lula in my arms as I rocked on my feet.

"Yes you can, Gabe." She assured me. "Take a seat," she said pointing to the rocking chair.

I wanted to tell her we just got up from it, it didn't work. I kept my mouth shout and sat. Lula cried louder. And there were tears. Tiny baby tears, and they were going to wet her cheeks. She had always just wailed. No tears ever came, I wanted to cry with her. I didn't ever want a tear to fall down and wet her cheek.

"Gabe, extended your arm with her on it facing down, and gently pat her back," Mom explained. I did as she told me, and after the third pat, Lula let out a very loud burp, and her crying stopped.

"Sometimes it helps to use different positions," Mom told me before she turned to leave.

"MA!" I called after her to stop. "I don't know if I can do both. College student and parent," it was my biggest fear. "Maybe I should accept that the dream has become a nightmare. Maybe I should tell myself that reality is better. I could convince myself it's better that I never dream at all." I told her.

"Gabe, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, hold on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all. You have a tough road baby. No matter what. It won't get easier. You, Gabe. will be great student, an amazing father, and a respectable man."

I nodded at my mom as I inhaled the fresh scent of my daughters hair. The smell reminded me of what my job was as her father. Bathe, feed, clothe, provide..everything, teach, encourage, enforce, build up, love unconditionally.

I had the love unconditionally part down, and I hoped the rest would fall in place, isn't that some song? All you need is love? I had that. And with it, I would accomplish my dreams.

**So, I have to focus the next 2 weeks on my boards. So I don't know how soon I will update, just be patient with me. If you want a teaser, let me know in your review. It might be a few days for it, since I have nothing written for the next chapter. ****I started working on a new story with a new author. Please go check it out. It's called Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers. The link to the story is on my profile page. I hope to see you over there! **


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